Vince Farrell

Christmas At Home

2011-12-11T14:07:00.000-06:00

This year we are hosting a portable worship experience at Christ Community Church in Hopkinsville, KY.

We have moved our Sunday Dec 25th service to Friday Dec. 23rd at 6:30

Below is a short video that has some additional details. We are located at 425 Millbrooke Drive and would love to have you and your family join us this holiday season.
www.christcommunity.com

From Family Talk: James Dobson

2011-12-09T11:54:00.002-06:00

Asking The Wrong Question

2011-07-11T10:14:00.000-05:00

As I pray and search for creative ways to infuse vision into the church, I've done a lot of research on the question, "what is the church?"

I think that is a good question.

If you go on youtube or blogs or any social network you can find quite a bit of different views to the question, what is the church? Everything from: street interviews with public opinion, pastors explanation, creative animations of explanation and so on.
There are a lot of thoughts around this topic. Rightfully so, I mean both sides of the issue have plenty of scripture to back up their views, so much so, that it can quickly become a debate.

And that's where a good question quickly becomes bad.

It's bad to create division, strife, debate over what the church is, who the church is for, what the church should look like, and who it's not for. (like I said, a lot of views out there)
Perhaps we have these strong feelings about church because on one side non-believers (as well as some believers) have a very negative view of the church. Then on the other side there are very strong and positive views of the church. Thus the debate.
See if you ask most people, "what is the church?' They will respond correctly, "it's the people who follow Christ." True? Then if you point at a building and ask, "what is that?" They will answer, "a church."
Very confusing eh? The church is the people not the building, yet we meet in a building and call it a church. Back and forth we go! (sorry, forgive me for being factitious....but I think you see what I'm getting at.) Which by the way let me add. I believe Christians should faithfully gather together in large venues as the church in a church. ;)

So, here is my thought. Maybe we have all these different feelings about the church because we've spent so much time asking the wrong question. Perhaps instead of asking "what is the church?" we should ask "what is our life about?"

Did you get that? As believers (who are the church) when we come together in a church (place where we gather) we should ask the question, "what are our lives all about?
The answer?

Life is about God and His Kingdom.

If we truly understood that concept then we lose the tags of a church being seeker sensitive, traditional, transformational, emergent, modern, and countless others. We would not argue about the programs, strategies, and order of service line up. We would not leave the church because of personal preference dislikes or offense and hurt. Instead we'd exercise the very things that makes us a church without spot or wrinkle, things like unity, love, long-suffering, patience, kindness, perseverance and so on.

When I read what Christ says the Kingdom of God is like, then I see what God is like. When I pay attention to what God is like, I learn what He likes.
The church is us and in that we tend to bring a very US mindset in how we think it should be done. But if we live with a mindset that we are about His Kingdom then church will be different because we will be different.

It's not about asking "what is the church?" It's about asking "what is His Kingdom all about?"

Christ Community Church Vision

2011-07-01T18:52:00.000-05:00

Christ Community Church DNA from Vince Farrell on Vimeo.

Release of the Sling Shot

2011-06-26T16:54:00.004-05:00

In August of 08 I started traveling full-time ministering and encouraging churches, stateside and abroad. This new start in ministry came because of some other new beginning's end.

I've known our end result would be to Pastor a church and during these last three years I've felt very much like a rock in a sling shot. I see the target, but no matter how much I aim to hit it, it would appear instead of moving forward I'm being pulled back, pulled back, and pulled back.

See during this time of traveling and speaking, I've also been doing quite a bit of learning; gleaning from pastors who've been in ministry and have been around the block. I've attended church-planting meetings and conferences to try to learn and grow as much as I can. What I've learned has helped me develop and formulate some ideas concerning church planting and church revitalization. I've posted previously on here about those thoughts.

As I've traveled I've discovered my passion is to see the church grow and excel in what God has called it to do. I find myself coming alive when getting to speak to leadership about church growth principles and strategies, all the while I've explored every possible door when it comes to pastoring. Please understand when I say every door, I mean every door! I won't go into every detail, but I will add this.....while exploring every door that has appeared to open I have not felt it was ever an option to "go and do my own thing." I have a high conviction when it comes to authority and have listened and taken the advice of those over me even to the point when it's caused heartache. In fact, that's the true test to see if one is in submission---submitting when you disagree. (okay, off my soapbox)

Back at the first of February we were contacted by an pastor in KY who was wanting to retire toward the end of the year and he wanted to transition the church to a young minister. He's an old friend of my wife's dad's and had contacted him, which Dale in turn put him in touch with me. At the time we were in the midst of a (long) process with a church in Joplin (one of the many doors I mentioned above) and told the pastor that we felt like we should see that process through, but expressed our desire to come and speak for the church in KY and meet the leadership. So we scheduled a date in April and at the same time the church in Joplin didn't work out. (Keep in mind, this was BEFORE any tornado touched-down in Joplin....something to think about!).

The KY pastor had said that he would like to retire at the end of the year, with the transition happening right around then as well. We confirmed those date before renting this current house, because we had to sign a 1-year lease on it and didn't want to lose a lot of money.

So we went on Palm Sunday to Hopkinsville, KY. It's a small church. They went through a rough time about 11-12 years ago and this current pastor has been there for 11 years now and has really focused on healing up the people. And he's done a wonderful job of that, he's a very good man! They have a wonderful, debt-free facility located in a great neighborhood right beside an elementary school. Hopkinsville is just 20 minutes from Clarksville, TN where Fort Campbell is also. So you can see there are many great out-reach and ministry opportunities there.

That Palm Sunday weekend we met with their elders and wives and the pastor and his wife to just get to know each other a bit and let them ask us some questions and we asked them some as well. It was a great meeting and neither of us saw any red flags. That Sunday morning service went very well and the people were very welcoming.

Oh~and did I mention that the pastor would actually like to retire at the end of August?! So that meant we needed to talk with our landlords about our contract and just let them know that we may be moving soon. Well, what happened was nothing short of a miracle! We'd had a lawyer friend look at our contract to see if there were any loop holes, but he said there were none and we would just be at their mercy, meaning we may still owe them all the rent from the time we move until our contract is up at the end of next March. Which wasn't good news. But when we talked with the owner, she was totally understanding. It turns out her dad had also been in ministry and she understood the need to move quickly sometimes and they completely released us from our contract, just asking that we give them a 30-day notice and allow them to show the house should they put it back on the market while we're still in it. Talk about relief! To be released from that contract was SUCH a blessing! This is where I truly believe God is taking care of things behind the scenes.
After that I began to talk regularly on the phone with the pastor, who is just incredibly excited and really believes we are the young couple to transition the church.

The first weekend in June I went back and met with the elders and deacon and wives and also the pastor and his wife again for some more getting-to-know-each-other type talk. I spoke on Sunday morning and then that evening the church held a special Q&A session with me. Lora wasn't able to go that weekend, but it went very well and I came away very excited. All that to say....

WE JUST HEARD FROM THE PASTOR AFTER LUNCH TODAY THAT IT HAS BEEN
CONFIRMED! WE ARE GOING TO BE THE NEXT PASTORS OFCHRIST COMMUNITY CHURCH IN HOPKINSVILLE, KY!!

Also last week we made a quick overnight trip to Hopkinsville to look at homes. There is a young realtor in the church who is helping us. We did find one that we REALLY like and we went ahead (in faith!) and made an offer on it this weekend. We shot a bit low, but hoped to negotiate a good price. Well, we just got their counter offer back this past hour and it right at the amount we were willing to go up to! So we are accepting their counter offer~can't wait to be homeowners again!!

And that's the Big News! After feeling like a rock in a sling being pulled back, we are now being released!!!

The Communications of Jesus

2011-05-30T21:11:00.001-05:00

Technology is great, especially when it works. One of the great things we have at our disposal is the ability to pass information from books, sermons, or quotes to hundreds; if not thousands of people in an instant.
One subject I've noticed that can cause quite a stir in the Twitter, Facebook and Blogger circuit is when postings are made about the church.
Honestly, to me the subject of The Church can be one of the most confusing topics out there. I've heard pastors spend 30 minutes in their message talking about how the church is not a building but a people united for Jesus then spend the other 30 minutes encouraging people to be faithful to the building. (haha)

Let me say, I LOVE the Church and it's certainly a topic that can push my buttons. I've grown up in church, I've been hurt by the church, I've been loved by the church, I've attended church planting meetings and met with countless pastors on the subject of "The Church." With that said, allow me to set a little bit of context; I know it's human nature to quickly run to either side of the ditch when it comes to any subject. Righteousness and grace, legalism and freedom, Jesus and church, rebellion and religious and so on. But what we need to remember, regardless of what side of the ditch we end up on concerning an issue... it's still a ditch.
When it comes to statements like, "I love Jesus just not the church" or "Jesus would spend more time chasing after the one rather than the other ninety-nine" or even "Jesus wouldn't be in the church today" is my concern to what audience in which these statements are made. The truth is some people hear these statements and lock on to them as the "gospel" when they are nothing more than simple statements made to "relate" or "sympathize" with a generation who doesn't understand the church. Pastor Timothy Keller said it best in his book, The Prodigal God, "The concept of one loving Jesus but not liking the church is just another way to to hide in self deception"

Perhaps if we understood how Jesus communicated, then we'd be more mindful of what we communicate. Here are five levels of communication we see Jesus use.
1.) The Multitudes: Jesus taught them in story form and never explained His messages to them. He knew the multitudes had come for one primary reason: to find answers for their personal needs. Jesus didn't give assignments to the multitudes. Jesus didn't try to disciple the multitudes. Jesus didn't try to develop personal relationships with the multitudes. Jesus simply challenged the masses to make greater spiritual commitments.
2.) The 70 Associates: Jesus chose seventy to go before Him announcing His arrival. Jesus didn't attempt to disciple the seventy, he gave them personal assignments but did not enter into personal relationships with them. We don't know any of their names, just their number.
3.) The 12 Disciples: Jesus chose these twelve men personally; each of them is named and identified. We know more about them than we know about the multitudes or the seventy. This is where Jesus spent the majority of His ministry. Their learning session were in natural environments. They walked, talked, ate together, they asked Jesus questions and He responded. He explained His stories to them in detail.
4.) The Inner Circle: This was Jesus' core group; Peter, James and John were the three that knew Him best and were closest to Him. These men received His special assignments. These were the friends Jesus took with Him when He went to raise the dead. They saw His glory on the Mount of Transfiguration. They saw His sorrow in the Garden of Gethsemane.
5.) The Beloved: Of all Jesus' disciples, only one could say he was the disciple "whom Jesus loved." John was the only one we know who laid his head on Jesus' chest. Jesus gave John the responsibility of caring for His aging mother.

Again let me keep these statements in context to the subject of communication (not salvation or any other subject.) As I travel I and speak in different churches, I have to be sure to know the audience. Too often we treat the multitudes as if they are the twelve or the inner circle.
I know I too need to be mindful of who is reading my post on Facebook and encourage all of us as The Church to build one another up in love and remember some things may not need to be repeated, re-posted or re-tweeted because it may cause more harm than good.
In love and unity!

Growth Changes Everything

2011-05-08T21:07:00.000-05:00

A young couple are expecting their first child. Already in their seventh month they explain to a group of friends how excited they are that things have been going smoothly; regular check ups, eating healthy, plenty of rest. They are ready.
One of their friends asks them what color did they paint the baby's room. Another asks what bed did they get. Another couple asked if they will be needing additional diapers and things since they were courious why there has been no baby shower, at least not one they were invited to.
The young couple looked at everyone and them each other as if to say, "what are you talking about?"

"We haven't done any of those things!" The husband exclaims. Shocked the group of friends start shooting off a check list of questions: "Have you baby-proofed your house?" "Car seats?" "Do you have a crib?" "Are you going to nurse or use formula?"
The questions just kept coming. To every one's shock the young couple just looked at everyone and said, "We've been just so excited about the new growth to our family that we thought the baby would be fine just to be a part of who we are. We had no idea we'd have to make so many changes for just one addition."

The above story is made up and crazy to say the least. I don't know of anyone who has ever been expecting a baby to not do some things ahead of time to get ready for the new addition.
As crazy as the above scene sounds, would you believe this is all too common outlook when it comes to church growth?

There are three common types of thoughts when it comes to growing a church. The first is called, "The Revivalist" style. This method believes, "all we need is a good revival and the church will grow." While that certainly is a good thought, unfortunately it's not only grossly unbiblical, it's just not true. The second is called "The Programmatic" style. This thought process follows the belief, "if we can get the right programs and events and ministries in place then the church will grow." Again, this is a good thought and when done does produce a level of growth; however if that's all that's done then growth will halt and level off quickly.
The third is called, "The Natural" style. This group comes to the table with the same understanding as the previous two, which is, "God provides the growth, He is in charge" but before the "naturalist" start on any program or ministry they first ask the question, "what do we need to get rid of that is hindering us from growing?"
Now that is one painfully honest question to ask. Because lets be honest, most things at the church are there because we like them. We may have even been the ones to make them or invent them or even "birth" them. But the truth is every level of growth your church or organization goes through will bring new changes. Much like a family with five children will look, act, operate differently than a family with two children, why?
Growth changes everything.
Don't fall victim to getting so focused for new growth that you don't first answer the tough questions, how will be handle and take care of these new additions? Are there systems in place to help outsiders become insiders?
Are there things in our church, even good things, that are unknowingly prohibiting us from growing?

Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear

2011-04-21T12:22:00.001-05:00

Several years ago I heard a message where the speaker was explaining vision like that of a windshield of a car. He said, “you should always be looking ahead and not worry about the past; it’s like driving a car, you have a huge windshield in front of you and a small rear view mirror to glance at.”

While I certainly understood what he was saying, I’ll never forget thinking, “yeah but there are also two side mirrors.”

While driving home from another fruitful trip where I met with church leadership and discussed vision, I noticed those words I’ve seen a million times on the mirror, “objects in mirror are closer than they appear” and had a bit of revelation concerning vision on what I’ll call “the three mirrors” when it comes to looking ahead at the road in front of you.

Mirror one is called, “Others.” When moving forward it’s important to keep others in mind. There are some that need to be looked at with the understanding that they probably won’t make it with you the next leg of the journey and some that will need help getting to where you want to take them. Others is a huge aspect to keep in mind because it’s been best said, “if you think you’re leading and look behind you to see others aren’t following then you’re just taking a walk.” Be mindful to make sure others are following as well as what others are refusing to follow.

Mirror two is called, “You.” Whenever I look in my rearview mirror to see what’s behind me I also catch a glimpse of myself. I think it’s the unspoken truth we must continue to focus on and develop our character as we are leading others into the future of where God is directing. I’ve see too many times leaders become not worth following because their integrity eroded over the course of time while trying to save the world.

Mirror three is called, “History.” How my tenth grade history teacher would proclaim, “you need to know your history because it has a way of repeating itself!” I certainly don’t believe a bad history means a bad future, no, God is bigger than that. However, knowing the history of a group or organization will give understanding why some ideas are tough to get through to people and why others won’t buy in to your vision. Knowing the history is very important, so ask questions. Asking tough questions now will help avoid tough times later.

Hope this makes sense and you’re encouraged to continue to lead where you’re at!

Blessings!!!

How It Looks Is Not The Issue

2011-02-09T10:37:00.000-06:00

When it comes to change, that's one area we all have a hard time coping with. No matter how much we say we like change, the truth is, when change affects us then we don't like it.

King David wanted to build God a Temple. God said David couldn't but would allow his son, Solomon, to do so. So David made all the preparations and plans for the place where people would gather to worship God.

Years later, Solomon, constructs the Temple. It was awesome to say the least, but it was different from previous ways "church" was done.

Up to that point, the only "church" they had experienced was the portable tent design given by God to Moses for the original tabernacle, however it was clear that Solomon's temple was approved by the Lord. The Lord Himself had given David the new plans, and David passed these plans on to Solomon. (1 Chronicles 28:11-19)

How much more must we remember that it's not what the church does and doesn't look like; lots of lights, smoke, coffee, loud music, organ, candles, video projector or hymnals is not the issue. The main question should always be, "Is God's presence there?"

Where His presence is, there is fullness of joy;* joy even with the changes.

*Psalms 16:11

Momentum

2011-02-01T12:35:00.002-06:00

Momentum is that wonderful, mysterious and mystical thing that everyone wants on their side, yet doesn't really know how to produce or harness it.
We know it when we see it; we know when we've lost it, but how do you get it?
Allow me to submit to you what I call, "the law of momentum" it goes:

"Doing new things creates momentum but those things you did will never sustain momentum."

Whenever a group, church or business does new things it causes the wheels of momentum to start moving. However there are other factors in place currently that either cause that momentum to slow or even stop. They are: the leader, the system and the programs; and while we don't want to admit it, when momentum is slowing we must look at all the factors currently in place to see which one needs adjusting.

The most common to replace is the leader, because after all he or she is the most visible and easiest to "blame" when momentum is lost. Sometimes yes, a new leaders is needed BUT while you can put a "new" leader in place and see an improvement happen; the real issue is reviled once the "newness" has worn off. It's simple, if things go back to the way they were or the same problems surface even after new leader, after new leader, then it's not a leader problem it's a system problem.

The hardest to address is losing momentum because of a program issue. Because we all become attached to "things" that we love or grew up on or created ourselves!
Remember what created momentum won't sustain it. This is why the McRib shows up and then disappears often. I believe the corporate world understands this much better than the church world.
We tend to tie a "bible verse and theology" to why we do everything we do in the church. Don't crucify me. We should have Biblical convictions for doing the work. But know when you do that to every program and department you have just set up that program to become the very golden calf that one day you will have to tear down.
Simply doing the same thing over and over for many years is not the goal. It's not new. In fact it's the very thing that is causing the loss of momentum. It's why many times the wheel is spinning but all it's doing is creating a rut.

Knowing the difference between tweaking a current system and program or letting it die and creating something new is the start to understanding and creating momentum in your organization.

As we watch the events unfold in Egypt and it's leadership, part of me can't help to ask the question, "Do some of our churches have more in common with the Egypt situation than we are willing to admit?"

Go and do new things in your churches! Be willing to change the programs, the systems and if need be the leader. Move forward with message! Create momentum!!!

Seven Specific Prayer Points for Egypt

2011-01-31T10:27:00.000-06:00

Due to the current turmoil in Egypt out trip has been canceled and will be rescheduled once we see things have settled down. Our missionary contact and good friend, Dr. Sameh Sadik, sent this message. Please pray for him and these areas he outlines. Thank you.

Tonight: Looting has been reduced tremendously, safety is being restored into Cairo and throughout the country. I would like to request pray for 7 specific Prayer points:

The most urgent need for prayer is Food Supplies due to the curfew that is now 18 hours per day. As you have seen, the protesters defy the curfew but most of the people in the country, and especially the Farmers and Food distributors and manufacturers have not been able to transport the needed supplies for the population. Many foods are being rationed especially Bread. Pray that the Food supply will be sufficient for the needs of the people.
Tomorrow the Police force will be reactivated & Pray that the Escaped Prisoners will be recaptured, thus reducing the amount of Criminals in the streets.
Pray for a peaceful end of the demonstrations
Pray Internet Communication can be restored
Pray for Wisdom to those in authority to take decisions that would consider the well being of the people in Egypt over their own benefits.
Pray for a Peaceful end of the demonstrations will expedite bringing normality
Pray the Church to show the Hope of Jesus Christ throughout this Crisis.

Top 3 Signs You May Be Missing the Christmas Spirit

2010-12-18T21:40:00.001-06:00

#3: You begin a Facebook status post with the phrase, "Come on People..." or "Hey People..." when wanting to make a point. It has the same ring as when the Prodigal's brother said to his dad, "this son of yours." It makes the relationships of life seem so distant and finger pointing.

#2: You get all bent out of shape when someone writes "X-Mas" instead of Christmas. While I too am an advocate for keeping Christ in Christmas, the fact remains that the original term X-Mas was created with just as much spiritual significance than the original phrase Merry Christmas. In fact, do a study on the letter X in Greek to find out how silly you've been making war out of a non-war issue. By the way if it was an issue worth getting upset about, then shouldn't we be all excited and "victorious" when we drive down the road and see a yellow sign with the words "PED X-ING?" Don't we interpret that as "Pedestrian Crossing?" Hey! The word "cross" in a secular sign!!!

#1: You can't stand to hear someone say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." There are a lot of ways to say, "hello", "I love you" and "no thank you." Same goes for wishing someone joy during this season. I've never heard someone use the term Happy Holidays to blatantly slam someones faith in Christ or to shun that person. (not that it doesn't happen) It's just we live in a society where 83% don't go to a church and/or don't have a Christian background. So to most, saying Happy Holiday is as natural as saying Happy Birthday. I'm reminded of the words, "they will know we are Christians by our love." There are Biblical convictions and personal values. Don't die on the mountain of personal values and lose the opportunity to one day talk about Biblical convictions to someone.

P.S There is another, it's called "You write me several paragraphs on explaining why you do any of the above mentioned and why I'm wrong." Which in term just proves my point.

Appetite for More

2010-11-12T14:36:00.002-06:00

Ever want more? Sure, we all do, that's the nature of appetites. No matter how much you have if you have an appetite for food, success, power, love, money........you want more.

In my travels, one of the most common things I hear people say is they want more meaningful relationships.

More relationships? No, more "meaningful" relationships!

In a day where pretty much everyone is at your finger tips by way of cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, txt messages, email and dozens of other social networks there is still a longing for more, but not just more, more meaningful relationships.

So how do we get there? There's a lot of things we can do, but for a moment let me share a thought from Philippians 3:10-11 "that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, ¹¹ if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead."

While Paul is encouraging the Church of Philippi to "press towards the goal" of living for Christ. I see also in this scripture one of the keys to developing more meaningful relationships. Many times our friendships hang out at the "knowledge of His resurrection." We fellowship with other believers and build connections based on the fact we're Christians. That's a good things, it's a starting point. But to stay there is not only shallow, but encourages our appetite for more.

"Fellowship of His sufferings," this is real rubber meets the road when it comes to going deeper. Who have you suffered with? Who are the friends that you have cried together, have gone through the pain of life with? Who knows your struggles, temptations and shortcomings?

"Being conformed to His death." Death stinks! Let's face it, not to many dead people walking around these days. Dead to agendas, dead to selfishness gain. Dead to excuses. You know what I mean. I'm guilty. I've often used social media to promote me. Getting to a place where everyone in the relationship is giving of themselves till it hurts is a hard place to get. It's living a life where your house, your phone bill, your food, your clothes, your children, your job, your gas is not yours anymore. It's His and theirs.

But the truth be told, when you get there you find out it doesn't hurt at all because you cant hurt a dead person.

Going deeper is a process, hopefully you got some ideas for your next step in having more meaningful relationships.

Layers of One

2010-10-20T14:33:00.001-05:00

1 Corinthians 12:12 "For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ."

Hopefully we are all aware of the beautiful illustration we become as we, being different, come together as a body of believers to make up the Body of Christ; it's truly a wonderful thing to witness.

While pondering and thinking on the subject of commitment to the Body I'd like to share a thought in regards to how to make those connections stronger, more meaningful. The goal is to go deep in our connections to each other and cause a tighter bond to the rest of the body.

I'll relate it to the natural
Our body's biggest organ is the skin, and it's comprised of three layers: The Epidermis, which is the top layer that is comprised of dead cells and it's brushed off. The Dermis, you can't see because it's hidden under your epidermis. The dermis contains nerve endings, blood vessels, oil glands, and sweat glands. It also contains collagen and elastin, which are tough and stretchy. Then The Subcutaneous Layer is made mostly of fat and helps your body stay warm and absorb shocks, like if you bang into something or fall down. The subcutaneous layer also helps hold your skin to all the tissues underneath it. This layer is also where the start of growth happen.

With that said, there are three layers of connection to the body we need to move people through.
The shallowest, but still important like our epidermis, is called acceptance.
Acceptance is fleeting and arbitrary and often external or a felt craving. The need to feel accepted is very important and it's the easiest to address because it's often the easiest "seen" need to meet.
Next is the dermis, if you will, called belonging.
Belonging is grounded in something more permanent. This is where we move people from just simply feeling like they are a part of something into the knowledge that they are intrinsically connected to a place, or people, beyond themselves.
If people don't know why the should belong to something, or how they bring unity to that something to some degree, there is little reason for them to stick around.* (*quote from the book: The Slow Fade)
The third level is, committed, much like the Subcutaneous Layer . When people feel accepted and know they belong they will make the commitment. Sounds simple and no doubt many would say they are committed, but the truth is many just linger around accepted.
Committed people look for ways to volunteer, instead of being asked to volunteer.
Committed people don't leave over offense, instead they look to bring healing over offense.
Committed people don't have to be asked to give, they have to be asked to stop giving.
Committed people are committed to change and help make it happen, rather than notice a change has taken place.
Committed people honor the past experiences but are ultimately focused on changing the status quo and influencing tomorrow.

Committed people live as one.

The Enemies of Unity

2010-09-30T18:13:00.000-05:00

As I was going through old notes on some subjects concerning leadership. I ran across a message that Dave Ramsey gave back in 07' on the subject of unity at Catalyst conference.
The five points are his, the sub points are from collective sources I've gathered over the years that I believe go hand it hand to his 5 points regarding the subject. I found them incredibility meaningful to any group or organization who is wanting unity in their group. Hope you enjoy some good sound wisdom from, Dave, a man who knows his stuff.

The Enemies of Unity

1. Poor Communication
When speaking to a group, team or staff it's important to repeat often. No one gets in one time what you've spent months dreaming, planning, making strategies and articulating to present vision for them. We have all heard the phrase, "we need clear lines of communication." But what does that mean to your group?
2 People or programs = 2 Lines of Communication
3 People or programs = 6 Lines of Communication
4 People or programs = 12 Lines of Communication
5 People or programs = 20 Lines of Communication
6 People or programs = 30 Lines of Communication
As the group grows, so do the need to find multiple ways to communicate well.

2. Gossip
Gossip is simply when a negative is discussed with anyone who can't help solve the problem.

3. Unresolved Disagreements
Unresolved disagreements happen when a leader doesn't know they exist or when that leader avoids confrontation. The truth is a little confrontation cleanses the wounds of confusion and allows the individuals to move forward in a spirit of unity. It's also important not to confuse "challenging the process" to be misread as "challenging authority." These two are completely different. And a team who is under the authority should have a welcome mat at the door of challenge the process.

4. Lack of Shared Purpose
It's been best said, "anything with two heads is a freak of nature and either needs to be killed or put under glass in a circus." Because that's what your organization will resemble when players on the team don't share the same purpose, it'll die or look like a circus.

5. Sanctioned Incompetence
"Team members will eventually become demotivated when someone else on the team can't or won't do their job and a leader will not take action."--Dave Ramsey
I believe this is one of the biggest obstacles when dealing with building unity; especially in the faith culture, we want to give grace (as we should) but most the time we're not giving grace, we are simply being enablers.
Grace looks at someone who can't and gives the tools, teaching, mentoring so that person can.
Grace looks at someone who won't and honors them on their way out, either of the group or that area on the team.

When unity is valued in the group culture, the team will also act to keep these enemies at the gate.

Fresh Eyes

2010-09-24T00:14:00.000-05:00

Being in ministry, I think I can be like most, that is; to develop a system for doing things and give little attention to changing. After all, change is hard.

But what if we, as leaders, were able to walk in our churches or departments with a fresh set of eyes to give information from a totally different perspective? What if we were purposefully strategic in wanting feedback about what we are so comfortable in doing?

I used to manage a restaurant and while we lived by the policy, "the customer is always right" and did our best to make it so, there was another tool that really helped us gain an honest perspective.
The Mystery Shopper!!!!
Without notice we'd receive a data sheet that graded us on everything from cleanliness of the store to the hospitality of the employees. Food temp, order accuracy, restroom spotlessness, staff conduct and more.
We didn't know who it was or when they came, all we knew is they did! And when they did, we knew the results of their visit. They yearly outcomes of these visits caused our district managers to come to our stores and hand out bonuses or give out pink slip warnings.

No matter how good we thought we were, or happy we felt about our customers experience, it all boiled down to the mystery shoppers report.

As I travel, I many times find myself acting like a mystery shopper.
"Why are those doors open? Where do children check in? Where do I find an usher? Did someone greet me? How friendly are the people? Was the parking easy? Where are the restrooms, can I get there from here? Does service start on time? Who is the staff? etc........I can't help it---I love the local church and want to see Her presenting Christ in every program with excellence and power.

So here is the thought. Ever think of asking someone off the street to come to your church and "mystery shop?" Done right, it could not only prove to be a valuable tool to tighten up what God has entrusted you with, but also be an avenue to expose new people to your church.
If you'd like to hear more thoughts on this idea, contact me at www.vincefarrell.com

Blessings!!!

"The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light. ⁹I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings." Luke 16:8-9

Small Groups --Part 3

2010-09-13T21:00:00.000-05:00

7) Don't confuse natural by-product as the purpose.
Oil is one of those natural resources that would be almost impossible to live without. Not only does it lubricate our gears and provide gas but it also makes a total slew of other things. Plastic bottles, diapers, fishing line, nylon, cosmetics, pills, candles, the list goes on and on.
Here's my point. You never hear an oil worker say, "Time to go drill for some golf balls" or any other "by-product" made from oil. The purpose for drilling is oil, so that's what they drill for.

I believe the same can be applied for small groups. When I ask, "what is the purpose of the small group" I get the same answers; fellowship, accountability, care, community, friendships, bible study, etc.
Let me interject and say, there is nothing wrong with any of those answers; here me, what I am saying is that those things should be a natural by-product of Christians meeting together. Right?
Sure you should promote those things and live out those things, but they shouldn't be the purpose. (at least in my opinion. My vote for small group purpose is Kingdom; which means making disciples and multiplying)

It's kind of like when a company or church makes a list of "core values" and hang them on the wall. You've seen them; "We are a company that values, Integrity, Honesty, Character, Teamwork, etc"

The problem is not the values, it's just their kind of......well....they're......just there.
Typically those values are gathered by looking around at the group and saying, "yes that's who we are."
I love how Patrick Lencioni put it in his book, "The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family." He states, "The key about core values is not to have too many of them. Organizations tend to compile a list of things they think sound nice....because they want to cover all their bases. Many times those things are simply a permission to play value, not the core"

He's right! What company or church wants a dishonest employee or church member? How about lacks character? Doesn't play well with others? See, those are givens or like he says, "permission to play.'

Here are 6 questions that will help as you develop and launch or even relaunch your small group ministry.

1.) What is the ultimate reason you have small groups? (core purpose)
2.) What are the essential characteristics that your small group must never violate? (core values)
3.) What are the fruits you want to see displayed in the small group? (by-products)
4.) When your group meets, what is it's biggest priority and what needs to be done to achieve it? (goals)
5.) What steps are in place to help you achieve your core purpose as a group? (strategy)
6.) Who has to do what to achieve your goals? (roles and responsibilities)

I hope you enjoyed these last three posts on Small Groups. Be blessed and be fruitful and multiply!

Small Group --Part 2

2010-09-08T13:37:00.001-05:00

4) Define who you want in small groups.
I know, I know, your first response is like mine and many others when they hear that statement; "everyone we say!"
While, sure, we want everyone to be in a small group; we have to come to grips with the reality that not everyone will be in a small group. It's just a fact. 100% attendance is an impossible goal.
I think deep down we all know that but we continue to say "everyone" because if we don't then we sound like we are excluding some people. Which is not true. We have to define the small group and allow others to decide for themselves if will they join.
I believe Larry Osborne has the best explanation when it comes to defining small groups. In his book "Sticky Church" he gives the below diagram.

While I do believe there are some variables, I agree this is a good picture of how we can understand the defining groups in our churches. As this shows, the amount of "leaders" in our churches are not the same number of those "interested" in Christ. It's a simple diagram to show the more intense the commitment the fewer people involved. This simply gives us a wake up call to reality; if we decide to target people who are committed to "growing" in their Faith, then we need to structure our groups as a "moderate bible study" and in doing so we should be able to reach about 60% to 70% of our church attenders. Again, it's not to say it could be more (or less) but it helps us to know when we roll out small groups and we have a number less than "everyone" then we can know a "better" why.

5) Make room for different types of small groups.
As mentioned above, these two factors will flow together. Again, it's not to say one is right or wrong, it's a sober reminder of what to expect.
Now there are many different types of small groups, everything from the free market/ interest based to age based, location based, gender, G-12, Cell,... and the list goes on and on. The key is to (here's point #2 again) clarify the "win" for your church. Now I believe when it comes to churches that are older and more established that a "hybrid" of styles will exist and can exist successfully if everyone rallies to the same win, whatever that is for your church.
For example most younger age groups will function differently than groups made of of older individuals. To put a blanket definition of how a group should act, function and outreach is a little short sided. Teenage groups will look different than senior groups and so on. As they should. Different needs for different stages of the journey.
This is why (for me personally) I don't get hung up if the group just meets for fellowship or for intense Bible study; the style should not be focus as much as the goal. If "interest based" groups are creating transformation in peoples live and that group is growing, great! If "gender based or age based" groups are creating transformation in people and is growing, again great! My point is not to get hung up on style as much as knowing how to recognize when the end result is being accomplished.

6) Know when to have a funeral for a small group.
When you know what a win is, then it's easy to recognize when your not winning as much.
There are seasons for everything. Many times I've seen churches implement a small group strategy only to revamp it or re-launch the program in a couple of years. Why? I'm sure there are lots of reasons, but the one I've noticed from watching and even leading is due to the reason found in number 2 on the previous post.
The bible says it best, "where there is no clear revelation, people go in circles and die."
We start well, everyone hears the vision, people get excited, attendance is up, then life happens.
So we go back to the drawing board, or adjust the group to fit "everybody" or even attend a new Small Group conference to see the latest "how to" methods.

Nothing wrong with those steps IF that's what's needed. But too often our small groups suffer from the "drifting eye syndrome."
This is what's happened with YMCA. They just put out a statement explaining they are now going to go by the name, "The Y" because that is what everyone calls them anyway. (wow, I just went on their website to double check my facts and their logo is a "Y' with ymca in the corner)
When they started their mission was young man transformation through the Gospel of Jesus Christ, thus the name Young Man Christian Association. Over the years they've drifted from their vision to becoming no more than a community gym. I find it interesting that there new name, "The Y" is fitting; it begs for the answer of their existence....."why?"

When our small group fails to know the meaning to why, it's time to prop a daisy next to it.

Small Groups--Part 1

2010-09-07T19:10:00.000-05:00

I love talking, attending, creating, teaching, starting small groups. Below are some thoughts that I've picked up from those doing successful small group ministry and thoughts I've developed over the years in leading various small groups in multiple locations.
I pray these will be some helpful ideas as you gear up, start up or vamp up your small group ministry.

1.) Decide what type of small group church you are.
There are basically three types of churches with small groups: A church "with" small groups, a church "of" small groups and the church "is" small groups.
Let me interject that none of these are a "right" or "wrong" way to do small groups, however knowing what type of small group church you are will decide the amount of involvement you are able to sustain.

2.) Clarify what is a "win" for your small group.
Many times you will hear this in the vision statement of the small group or even the mission statement of the church. If not there then you'll probably hear it whenever the pastor is promoting small groups in the church. My point is if you don't spend time every Sunday morning and in every small group gathering reminding or "clarifying" what a win is for at least five years for your small group ministry, then frustration will follow.
I'll give you the most common that I know of with two different churches experiencing right now.
One churches small group leader, who is also an Elder in the church, is leading a small group of 25-30 (which is not a small group) and is having trouble getting anyone to break away to create two groups from that one. Everyone loves their group, everyone enjoys the fellowship and atmosphere. Hey, that's good! Nothing wrong, other than the fact the group has a bottle neck and is not producing anymore small groups.
Another church is dealing with the same issue, in fact they are desperately trying to train new leaders in hopes of being able to take a few out of each group to relieve groups that more than 20 in them.
So what's the problem?
Many times no one knows what a win is or they have the wrong win in mind.
For example, when I ask "what are the goals for your small group?" I'll get answers like, "to disciple, fellowship, accountability, assimilate into the church, prayer, bible study, etc." Those are all great answers but many times we only think about the goals and we never set a win. Can I be so honest to say, that the above list of things in a small group, at least healthy ones, are doing those already! You typically don't have to remind people to fellowship at a home fellowship. Or really pray during prayer time. My point is, where do we go? What's the end result? If having large small groups is the goal, then the above examples are not really issues. If it's developing more small groups, then there seems to be a "connect the dot to the win" problem.

I know what you're thinking, "but our people don't want to divide" or "why ask them to break up the very much needed fellowship we've asked them to join?"
Those are understandable examples but not the standard. From day one of starting a small group ministry in your church if you promoted, "Our goal as a small group is to make more small groups" then it defines what a win is. When a group multiplies into two, then people have a reason to celebrate. It's not a "have to" issue it's a want to step. But if it's not clarified in the small group it will create confusion and even frustration with the attenders because when you start breaking groups up, they will react.

3) Determine group size before it becomes a size issue.
If you clarify the win then knowing a group size becomes easy to determine.
Let me say this regarding the above; notice I never said, "when it comes time to divide a small group..." Lingo is very important, it's why I speak "multiply." It fits with a grow more groups vision. Personally I've found that once a small group reaches around 3-4 couples it's time to start thinking and training another leader. It's key that when more members start joining the group that they connect with the leaders in training and not the current small group leaders. When group and when the group reaches 8-9 couples, time to launch that new group and celebrate the win.
It's a rule, the bigger the group the fewer people talk. I was in a small group where there were about 8 people in the group and almost everyone spoke up and contributed in the discussion topic. I was in another small group where there was 25 or more and only about 5 people engaged.
That group of 25 can easily become two groups of 12 and no one would be upset due to being "torn away from relationships" because not everyone knows everyone on that deep of a level. Now for both of those groups to grow and then become 4 groups of 8, will take some work. But can be done with a clear focus of what type of church they are and what a win is.

More later.
Blessings!!!

Daily Spiritual Act

2010-09-03T10:35:00.002-05:00

I love Romans 12:1-2! One of the things I notice about this verse is the fact it contains in it all three elements that make us human. Look what the verse says. I'll bold the three parts so you can see it too. Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

We are three in one; body, soul and spirit. In the verse it says "mind" and that is one of the aspects that make up our soul. Our soul encompasses our minds, will and emotions.

With that in mind let me ask you a question. "What is our most powerful daily spiritual act?"

As you go down the list of things it could be: prayer, reading the Bible, worship, listening to the Holy Spirit, etc. Let me say this, "you'd be correct with any one of those." BUT let me hone in on the one word in this question that we skip over that we need to look at to get a better answer.

Daily.

I'm human. I don't worship daily. Sorry if that offends you. But lets be real. Of the many Christians you know, including yourself, do they do everything they should?
Pray daily?
Read the Bible daily?
Hear God daily?
Walk in the fullness of Grace daily?
Live in the fruit of the Spirit daily?

I'm like you, I'm working towards it but I don't do it daily. I have good moments and not so good moments. Like you I'm working on shortening the distance between the good and bad ones.

Here is what I believe when I look at scripture and see the revelation of the fullness of who we are as humans following Christ.
"Our most powerful spiritual act is the daily ability to make choices."

With that in mind, that's why I can say the list you and I named about prayer and reading the bible and all those from above-- it's that important to do them. Because it renews our minds. With renewed minds our spirit and life is transformed.

Here's the issue. What you believe determines your choices which leads to a desired outcome.
How many times have you seen (or even been) someone who doesn't like a certain outcome; with a job, a date, a mate, a church? So what do they do? Different choice: change jobs, change churches, change spouse. A little time goes by and "oops! don't like this, time to make a different choice."

The problem will always continue on a "marry-go-round" lifestyle as long as the issue of "beliefs" is never dealt with.
What do you believe about your job? Spouse? Church? Family? Parents? Money? God?

Until those beliefs line up with what God says (and not what you or I think) we are confronted to live in the outcomes that are less than what God intended for us; because of our choices. And the sad truth is we many times we have to live in the consequences of someone else's choice.
Choices contain in them a level of spiritual responsibility.
My faith can affect your faith. Either for good or bad.
I'm the man today because of great Godly men and women faith. How many people have lost faith because of the fall of another?

Our choices matter. Everyday you and I have this awesome power to put our free will to the test and say, "am I going to do this my way or God's way? Am I going to trust in His methods or mans wisdom? Am I going to do what is right or what is Kingdom?

"This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.'" Deut. 30:18-20

United Stage Design

2010-08-21T22:22:00.000-05:00

My good friend, Donald Sims, is the pastor of City of Hope Church in Manchester, KY. He is doing an unbelievable job and their town is truly seeing "city transformation" in the area.
I had the honor to join in their celebration service as another church in the area merged with them. Below is the video I did to show the "how to" for the stage design as well as just a glimps of the energy as these two churches partner together as one.
Enjoy.

United Stage Design from Vince Farrell on Vimeo.

My Convictions about Youth Ministry --Part 3

2010-08-19T15:54:00.001-05:00

Value #7: Everything must flow to the bigger picture. This value of mine transcends every aspect of ministry, but it is so important when it comes to youth ministry as well. I've had the honor to connect and speak at many different churches and one thing I've noticed over my years is the "transition model" of ministry. Every church starts out as a "family" model; this is the stage where everyone knows everyone, the pastor is like the dad or grandpa of the group, etc. The second stage is the "corporate" model. Now don't get offended by the name because it's a very much needed stage. This is where structure is introduced into the church and policies are issued to help things grow and run smoothly; the pastor is started to be viewed more than just one of the guys; he is now the leader and visionary of the church. The final stage is Kingdom. The pastor is usually operating much like an apostle with all the previous characteristic visible. The church is committed to the great commission and community transformation; it's not to say they were not before, but now it's evident in everything they do. This principle is all through out the Bible.
Youth ministry should be the same. If ever a youth group starts to operate and function like a separate identity from the rest of the church, then it is not flowing to the bigger picture. In fact, as a youth pastor, I've discovered that you have to make every effort to insure everything you do promotes and keeps the "vision of the house" as it's center of focus, because if you don't then by default you're creating a "church mutiny" without even knowing it. May I suggest taking a look at the Relevant article here to go deeper in this topic.

Value #8: The Journey of faith takes time, and students can minister now. Ever notice the gap between Moses killing the Egyptian and the burning bush experience? Or how about Samson sleeping with Delilah then the Spirit of the Lord comes upon him? These are just a few of many verses that mess me up. (in a good way) These stories are not in the Bible to conflict with the process of righteousness, they are in there to remind us that discipleship is not an A then B then C Sunday school process. We have to disciple right where people are at. I'm not advocating that you take the teenage guy sleeping with his girlfriend and put him in your youth band, but I am saying to be aware of ways to bring teens into a closer relationship of Grace and Righteousness through disciplining where they are currently at. I take great comfort in seeing Jesus do this with his disciples and many times at the end of the day they still did not get it. It's a process.

I hope you enjoy them and would love any feedback.
Yours for His Kingdom,
Vince

My Convictions about Youth Ministry --Part 2

2010-08-18T12:59:00.003-05:00

Value #3: Small works better than big. I've had the opportunity to be a part of and lead "big" youth ministries. One of the common misconceptions is to focus on the "bigness" of ministry and lead with a big mindset.
Now let me interject, this is not a ploy to discredit big ministry or to criticize youth groups that get big. After all, "healthy things grow." In fact, it's quite the opposite, your ministry SHOULD get big; the time it takes is up to you.
I'm simply stating that the bigger something gets, the more important it becomes to break it down into smaller groups, activities, etc. The bigger a group gets the less involvment from individuals you'll have. Not everyone enjoys concerts or camping or video games or football; for example, have you ever seen the way a group interacts when there are only 6 in it, compared to the way a group 25 interact? In the smaller group everyone participates, speaks up, gets involved. In the larger; just a handful will.
The larger your group gets, the more you will work at finding ways to make it personal and connected. May I suggest thinking small.

Value #4: Knowing God is more important than knowing about God. I will be the first to admit this is takes a lot of work to make a reality. Maybe it's just me, because I enjoy "teaching" aspect of ministry. But the truth of it is, we have a great canyon between knowing and experiencing God. Here are a couple of thoughts: Everything we do should point to God, even our lingo about Jesus. I've seen far too often we put such a heavy focus on Christ that we neglect to finish the journey. Hear me, I'm not saying do away with Jesus! Absolutely not!!! I'm saying we must not fail to connect the dots, that the reason why Jesus came was to restore us unto our Heavenly Father, God. We must continue to teach about God, but also put a high focus on sensing the presence of God; linking what we do to why we do it.

Value #5: Humor greatly enhances ministry. There is no hiding the fact that I personally like to have fun. But this value goes far beyond my personal preference. I believe humor should be a vital part of youth ministry; and not just reserved for a video or drama in the service. Humor is more than a funny drama or telling jokes in your message. It's the overall atmosphere of joy that is echoed in everything you do. There is something disarming and attractive to a ministry that can successfully infuse humor into ever service. Let me add one thought to this value; it should show up in every service, not just the special ones you plan for. A key damper in the service is to be asked several times the phrase, "are you having a good time?" or "are you glad you showed up?" They will let you know with their feet over the next few weeks. The only "person" we are trying to convince when we ask, "are you having a good time" over and over is ourselves.

Again, I hope you enjoy these and that they maybe even help. I'll post more tomorrow.
Yours for His Kingdom,
Vince

Missed Part One? Click here.

My Convictions about Youth Ministry --Part 1

2010-08-17T13:03:00.003-05:00

As a "former" youth pastor who now travels full time. I'm often introduced as the guy "with a list of past achievements."
Growing a youth group from 30 to 300.
Transforming a youth group.
Leading through change in a youth group.
Developing small groups.
Bla bla bla.....

Honestly, I'd like to be known for what I'm "about" to do, rather than what I "have" done because the future is where it's at. Life, ministry, churches, youth groups change so fast. I want to be one of those guys who's pushing the envelope to reach and minister where teens are at now as well as where they are going.

With that in mind, I'd like to submit to you some of my core convictions and values about youth ministry. These are not a 10 step "how to process" or even the top "methods" to grow your group. I'd be a fool to suggest such a thing, because like I said before, "ministry is always changing" and methods for that matter.
You may read these next few post and hear nothing more than an old guy who has done more things wrong than right, and you'd be correct.
But hopefully some of these core values I have concerning youth ministry will be an equipping tool for your ministry too. Enjoy

Value #1: God is in control, we are not. Sounds like a "no responsibility" free card, but it's not. In fact, it puts so much more responsibility on the leader. One of the mistakes that I've made before (that many youth pastors make) is we either don't plan far enough in advance OR we plan too much and THEN ask God to bless it. It's far more important to seek Him first and jump on what He is already blessing than to invite Him along for the ride. With this value it's important to add that tucked away in the spaces of this truth is another key principle that Jesus teaching regarding "being faithful with little, will be made ruler over much." I wholehearted believe that when we are faithful (responsible) for those he has given us, then He will add an increase.
Be honest, you and me and the rest of the world was put out with "OctoMom" because she wasn't taking care of the children she already had and now she adds eight more to the mix. How much more is our Heavenly Father wanting us to take care of who we have before He adds more to us?
We should be strategic and plan, but never at the expense of getting a clear word of direction from the One who is in control.

Value #2: Doing the right thing is more important than doing things right.
Thank goodness that we've had a wave of "excellence" pass in the church. I mean really, we are starting to see some quality and well done ministry in our churches. Of course there is the random "cheesy church marque" that still pokes it's head up, but overall I see churches doing things right. As they should.
However it's not the most important thing. Somehow we've lost the urgency to do the right thing.
Youth pastors quit over a disagreement with the pastor.
Programs become more important than people.
Upholding policies take precedence over situational needs.
Gray areas become easily justified when personally wronged.
One of the many things I've learned since being out of "full time" youth ministry is this; "teens don't remember what you say as much as they remember what you did." If you haven't put guard rails and people in your life to question your motives and ask you the tough questions about why you do what you do, (and I mean lots of different people, not just a few "yes" friends) then the sad truth is your character is already slipping and you're not even aware of it.

Value #3: It takes adults to make your youth ministry survive, it takes ministers to make it thrive.
Any youth ministry that does not have an abundance of adult workers will not go the distance. I don't think there is a magic ratio of how many to have, but I'd say, "the more the better!" You may think teens hate being around adults (or even vice-versa) but the truth is, having loving, committed adults in your youth ministry is what will cause it to continue to grow for the long haul.
It takes ministers to thrive simply means, "don't fall into the buddy system." It's easy for youth pastors and adult workers to want to be everyone's "buddy" but when it comes time to speak into a teen's life, they need to hear it from someone they respect and value; who they know has their spiritual welfare as their concern. It's not to say we are Bible scholars or have been to seminary or have the proper paperwork, it simply means we need to act and hold ourselves in a manner that in honorable to the Gospel. We are all called as ministers of the gospel first, leaders next, and then friend. Many young guys in ministry operate with a "Norm" mindset and want everybody to know their name; while this might work for a while, in the long run it will devastate your impact.

Hope you enjoyed these three convictions of mine concerning youth ministry, I'll post the next three tomorrow.

Yours for His Kingdom,
Vince

Charge!

2010-08-12T20:59:00.003-05:00

When it comes to leadership books, there is one theme that you will find in almost every one of them and that's the ability to take risks.

To lead with courage does not mean you have all the answers or even know how this thing is going to turn out. It simply means taking a risk to do the thing you believe needs to be done.

Let me throw this thought towards you, "If the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over but expect different results, then crazy is to do things differently around those who expect things to remain the same."

When I was in the restaurant business, the president of the company I worked for gave us managers some sound advice, he said, "when things get tough don't hunker down and comply with the winds of change, instead be a risk taker and fine tune what you do and excel."

There is a group I know of who's summer ministry numbers have been dwindling over the years, compounded with the recession they've decided to compensate to meet budget by raising enrollment by 20%.
This is the opposite of what the CEO was talking about, in a time where things must be done to improve, they raise the price, instead of taking risks to stretch and focus on growth. By doing some things differently they could attract new people to participate and thus meeting the budget to continue their ministry.

Leaders take risks.
There may be place in your family, job, church, school that is needing you to take a deep breath and yell "charge!!!"

Beans and Cornbread

2010-08-02T22:37:00.000-05:00

Meal time at our house growing up was probably like most people; mom was a good cook, dad was a man of simple taste.
Most of our meals consisted of steak and potatoes, green beans, spinach, beans and cornbread; you know good solid meals.
But every once in a while dad would come home and bring something from Sonic or announce we're going out for pizza.
Those were the nights we loved; we didn't have to load the dishwasher, or gather the trash or clean off the table or consume more beans and cornbread!
Those meals out were special. They didn't happen often, but when they did they were great.

You know, I've come to believe church services are the same way.
No matter what side of the pulpit you're on, we all want to experience an awesome worship service. We can tell when a service wasn't quite up to par, or when "God really showed up."

Clearly there is the supernatural element that contributes to our church services that are desperately needed; AND with that I'd like to encourage you that it's your faithfulness in the daily "taking out the trash", "washing the dishes" or better yet said, ---its the weekly beans and cornbread services that makes those special times that much more important.

Galations 6:9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

So don't despise the normal, average services; it takes them to make the really great services that much valued and pleasing.

Comes Down to This

2010-07-16T12:15:00.004-05:00

"Integrity has high influence value."

We must be aggressive in making sure our integrity stays at a high level. I love how my father-n-law says it, "Integrity is the things I tell you before you find out the hard way." So true. Because of the age we live in we have the awesome ability to connect with people from all over the place.
The last couple of months I've been talking to a lot of friends long distances about some issues concerning where they live, and throughout the converstions it boils down to "lack of integrity."

Has nothing to do about salvation, perspectives, viewpoints, or even theology. That's important to recognize; because one can say all the right things but actions will always speak louder.

I believe it's easy to sit back and say, "well, I have integrity so this is pointless." True. We all have some level of integrity, the key is to look for way to grow it. Yep! Have more!

Too often we can appear to lose or even completely have lost our integrity. We see it in the news of people we once respected and now no longer do because of some action that violated our trust towards them.
That's why we must "tell before it comes out the hard way." It may be hard to do, but not near as hard as building from lost integrity. In these times, high integrity is attractive and worth following. I think of many of the men and women of God in my life that I have surrounded myself by and although we may not agree with methods, viewpoints or even theologies, I respect them in the highest regard because they live with the uttermost integrity.

A Sleeping Policeman

2010-07-08T14:21:00.005-05:00

Picture a guy driving in his car, the radio on and even possibly drinking a soda when all of the sudden, "wham!" The care bumps in the air, his head hits the ceiling, and some of his drink spills out. He immediately brings the car to a stop and gets out to discover he went over a speed bump.
He starts kicking it!
Can you imagine?
The man starts pointing his finger at it, yelling; "You dumb speed bump! Didn't you know I was driving just fine by myself?! Couldn't you see where I was going? You're trying to stop me from getting where I want to go! Oh, look at you just lying there, so smug, who gave you the right to be there?!"
I'm pretty sure if we saw that scene we'd probably be making a call to the "loony bin" for that guy.

No, we don't see that usually play out. In fact, most people see a speed bump in plenty of time to slow down and take it easy. No one want's to purposely cause damage to their vehicle or throw their tires out of balance or cause a mess inside their car; or worse yet cause some other accident to someone else.
These piles of concrete or asphalt, or "sleeping policemen" they call them in some countries are simply reminders to slow down a bit and use some caution before proceeding.

You know, just as the above situation sounds quite silly; as if it would ever happen, it goes to be said that it's a situation often seen in the area of personal lives.
Someone gives you advice or thoughts about a direction and out come excuses and even in some case backlash towards that person. Even in extreme cases there may be even accusations towards that person of being judgmental or "high and mighty."
Why?
I'm sure there are dozens of reasons. But possibly the most common is because you're not accountable.
There is a great difference between knowing what accountability is and being accountable.
I often explain that accountability is like a two sided coin; on one side it's the "You ask and I tell" aspect. And it works great. The other side is "I tell before you ask" and it works even better.
So how about it? Do you have some "sleeping policemen" in your life that are there to give you a little bump or nudge as you journey through life?
If not, I'd encourage you to find some that will speak into your life; no matter how uncomfortable they may be at times
Sleeping policemen may cause a little bump, but better is it to slow down and take a bump than speed through and cause a mess.

Change This or That

2010-07-02T11:15:00.004-05:00

"What you believe dictates your actions, and actions lead to the desired outcome." Many people who are frustrated or unhappy with their current outcome in life think the best thing to do is make a different choice.
New job.
Better church.
Different spouse.

Something different because the current situation is not what we thought it would be. Now sure there are times when making a switch can be a very good thing, (especially when it doesn't go against God's guidelines) but many times after the "newness" has lost it's sparkle, we start looking again for something different.
Why?

Possibly because it's easy to address actions or choices. Example, if I asked you "how" you spend your money, you could easily show me your debit card statement or check book or even credit card bill. The "outcome" of those items reflect what choices you made. But if I was to ask you, "what do you believe about money?" That may take some work in articulating properly. That's why it's especially important to address our "beliefs" and what we truly believe.

When it comes to changing your outcome, it's been well said; "wherever you go, there you are." The one factor that remains the same in every situation is "us."
Philippians 4:13 is the famous verse where Paul says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." And when you look at it in the verses leading up to it you find that it's the strength in Christ that gives contentment in every situation.

Inevitably, our thinking leads to feelings. So the only effective way to move toward growth and fulfillment when we're feeling dissatisfied or inexplicably stagnant is to dig deeply into God's Word to find real answers that change our thinking and develop a Godly belief system.

13 Churches (Part 4 of 4)

2010-06-23T09:35:00.003-05:00

This is the last installment of 13 different types of churches that are listed in Ed Stetzer's book, "Comeback Churches." Below are the last three. Again, these descriptions come directly from Ed's book, and I'd encourage you to buy a copy and read it.

I'd like to echo what Ed says; "The wrong question is whether your church is "traditional" or "contemporary" and which is better. The real issue is whether your church is biblically faithful, acting as the presence of Christ in the community at large, able to relate Christ to people in culture, and is on mission to reach the lost." I couldn't agree more! There are so many structures and formulas for doing church, traditional, contemporary, pragmatic, transformissional, etc; that we can get so consumed with the "style" that we lose focus on the "purpose."
My hope in posting these from his book is simply to inspire the reading of the book and a healthy self examination of your church. That's the starting point to any healthy change---to confront the reality and lead accordingly by the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

If you haven't read the previous post, you can catch up by clicking the below links.

13 Churches Part 1
13 Churches Part 2
13 Churches Part 3
and now here is the final installment. Enjoy!

Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen

"Chaplaincy" Church. The church hired it's minister (and even staff) and expects the "chaplain" to be busy about meeting the needs and making the church grow. It's not uncommon to hear a statement like, "Preacher, you need to visit Mrs. Gray. She hasn't been feeling well." The members identify the needs and the prospects and expect their pastor to respond. After all, they haven't been to seminary, and that's what he's being paid to do. Despite the fact that the church's ministry impact is limited to the staff's time and abilities, the church body remains committed to an employer/employee model. They want a hired "chaplain," not a leader.

The "Company" Church. This church is more focused on what is handed down from the denomination that how to reach it's community. One after another, the denominational calendar and programs come and the local church seeks to apply them (not realizing that most denominational departments crank out programs like a Ford in the 1970's---too many and not well thought out). So, while denominational departments produce competing materials without communicating with other, the "Company Church" faithfully seeks to staff every one--while pretty much ignoring it's community.

"Play It Safe" Church. Here, there's little faith that God will provide. Rather than enabling ministry and evangelism, it hinders them. The church want's to protect what it has. As much money as possible is placed in a certificate of deposit. But no plan is made to use it to reach others for Christ. It's a safety net that's guarded carefully. Members have little incentive to give. This leads the treasurer and finance committee to conclude that they were wise to protect the "nest egg."

You could probably think of many more, but they all have in common one thing. They have lost the passion for making disciples and the focus of God's glory in His church. Yet, identification is easy. Change is hard.
There are many factors that can contribute to a church decline and even death. One thing we must not forget is the very real and very spiritual nature of church growth.

One reason a church may experience decline is because Jesus is displeased with the way the church has handled past challenges. Another is that the church may have been disobedient at a crucial point. If we believe we are to be "Spirit led" and our churches should be too, then we can't ignore key principles like, "reap what you sow" and "faithful with the small." Repentance may be a spiritual issue, but in many cases it's also a pressing need.

13 Churches (Part 3 of 4)

2010-06-22T09:50:00.003-05:00

We're taking a look at 13 different types of churches that are listed in Ed Stetzer's book, "Comeback Churches." Below are three more types, if you didn't get to see the first three, click here. Again, these descriptions come directly from the Ed's book, and I'd encourage you to buy a copy and read it

I've broken the list of 13 "Dirty Churches" into four different post; as not to make one extra long post. To catch up on the past 7 check out the links below.

13 Churches Part 1
13 Churches Part 2
and now here is the next installment.

Eight, Nine and Ten

"Time-Warp" Church. Somehow these folks have preserved, not just the tenets of the faith, but the positions, practices, and appearance of years gone by. They may still have an "Intermediate" or "Junior" department. They expect others to adapt and accept what they've grown comfortable with doing, and they give no thought at all to change. The church doesn't seem to attract people like it did before, but "If it's good enough for me and my family, it should be good enough for them." This church was probably once very effective , but the community has experienced a major transition, leaving the church perplexed, wondering what it should do.

"Tidy" Church. The members take pride in their church. They've worked hard to get it and keep it in it's present condition. The buildings, furnishings, and equipment are well kept. The materials are meticulously organized. Everything operates smoothly until noisy youth or messy children begin to come. As outreach efforts continue to draw more exuberant kids and their families, a greater sense of unrest develops. The new growth is suddenly viewed as a threat, leading to efforts to contain it and to prevent further disruptions or damage.

"My Way or the Highway" Church. A number of the members in this church know how things ought to be, and are vocal--maybe even vociferous---in expressing it. They like a certain kind of music. Maybe guitars are out; anthems are in. Or, choir robes are more appropriate than "street clothes" for worship. Comments such as the following abound: "I don't like to stand when we sing." "It's always too hot (or too cold) in here." "I like it better when we had announcements in the middle of the service." " The attendance board has always been on that wall." "This is our room and we're not about to move." No matter the issue, these people wont' be satisfied unless it's done their way.
This is stereotypical church wherein the senior adults are given the new van to use on their apple orchard trips while the student ministry is asked to drive the old van because "those teenagers are messy." Young families get the message that their children are unwelcome.

Check in tomorrow for the last three.

Hopefully by now you've read all the post concerning this subject and I don't have to go into great detail to why I'm posting these types of churches.
But to make sure you hear my heart, I want the church to not only survive but to excel! Since 3,500 to 4,000 churches close each year, it's obvious that most churches won't make the turnaround. This is probably due to several reasons, a couple are; first, most churches will not admit how bad it is. Second, most churches will not make the needed changes.
My prayer is that you as a leader, pastor, elder, board member read and see that quite possibly you are heading down the road to being one of these types or churches, or you already are one, that you would aggressively seek God for answers and strategy to turn you church around and be one of the many "comeback churches" in America.

13 Churches (Part 2 of 4)

2010-06-21T09:21:00.004-05:00

We're taking a look at 13 different types of churches that are listed in Ed Stetzer's book, "Comeback Churches." Below are four more types, if you didn't get to see the first three, click here. Again, these descriptions come directly from the Ed's book, and I'd encourage you to buy a copy and read it.

Four Through Seven

Voluntary Association Church. The Voluntary Association church has unwittingly modeled it's organization after a democratic government rather than New Testament principles. It is a church of the people, by the people, and most importantly for the people. It's purpose is to make sure it retains as many people as possible and keeps any new people in their place. In order for this to become a reality, the board of the church is a balanced set of people who represent opposing factions in the church. Whenever one group seeks to make a positive change in the church in one direction, the opposing factions begin to whine, complain, and gossip. It's a perfect democracy modeled after our government--which most would say does not always work so well. The board then meets in emergency session, and the point is raised that three of four people might leave if the positive changes become a reality. Then compromises are made and deals are cut to maintain the "status quo." Of course, someone has explained the "status quo" is simply Latin for "the mess we're in." Due to an overwhelming need to keep everyone happy, the Volunteer Association Church ends up bound, at the mercy of a vocal minority, and ineffective. This type of church will not change until they change their value system.

"We Can't Compete" Church. Many "stuck" churches have simply given up. Like a family-owned business next to a new Wal-Mart, they have given up on making a difference. They have decided that they cannot "compete," and they stop trying. Unfortunately, they have bought into the idea that the unchurched are only interested in program-rich megachurches. But the truth churches of all sizes can turn around and reach the unchurched.

"Decently and in Order" Church. These churches have a high regard for processes but lack passion. They run everything by the book; unfortunately, it's not the Bible. As long as matters great and small meet the approval of various committees and are discussed in minute detail at business meetings, all is well. Unfortunately, they've forgotten---if they ever knew--that the business of the church was given by our Lord in the Great Commission and the Great Commandment.

"Square Peg in a Round Hole" Church. In this congregation, people are enlisted for leadership and service, not by their gifts or passions, but by other criteria. You might hear, "We've got to fill this position. Who can you think of that we've not already talked to? Someone else might suggest, "He's here all the time. Let's make him an elder." Bankers automatically go on the finance committee, though they have the gift of evangelism or mercy. People are all in their place, but it might not be the right place to help their church reach those around them. The organization stifles the church's impact.

Check in tomorrow for the next three.

Again my passion is to see the Church become healthy. I believe if you can see what type of church culture you're in, then it will give you the right perspective in how to pray and seek God on how to turn your church around.

13 Churches (Part 1 of 4)

2010-06-20T19:23:00.004-05:00

I've had the chance to devour a few books here in the last couple of weeks. One that I've really enjoyed is called "Comeback Churches" by Ed Stetzer. I got to hear Ed at a church planting conference in Orlando, FL a while back and really loved his thoughts and heart concerning growing healthy churches.

I thought I would share what he calls the "Dirty 13" when it comes to looking at what types of churches need a "comeback." I won't go into huge detail in these post because I think any Pastor or minister would greatly benefit from adding this book to their library. So if you're out and about, I encourage you to pick up a copy.

Your leadership is absolutely essential in guiding your church to be a comeback church. I didn't put under the direction of the Holy Spirit because that is a given and shouldn't have to be explained but alas here I am explaining it because there will always be someone who questions that statement and declare, "you're leaving out being let by the Spirit!" Which is the furthest thing from the truth.
Barna is correct when he writes, "After fifteen years of diligent digging into the world around me, I have reached several conclusions about the future of the Christian church in America. The central conclusion is that the American Church is dying due to lack of strong spiritual leadership. In this time of unprecedented opportunity and plentiful resources, the church is actually losing influence. The primary reason is lack of spiritual leadership. Nothing is more important than leadership."

The first 3 of 13 Churches

Institutionalized Church. Many churches have regressed into a state of merely functioning as an institution. An institutionalized church focuses on and is more committed to the forms and programs of ministry. It no longer sees the purpose for which the church was created, nor what the church is striving to produce. In an institutionalized church, the good has become the enemy of the best, and activity has chocked out productivity. Please take note that an institutionalized church is not necessarily small. Some of the larger churches in America are perfectly plateaued for this very reason.

Unintentional Church. Many churches mean well, they have good intentions, but do not act on those intentions to reach their community. They may even be willing, but ultimately, they never "do" what they "hope." Unintentional churches do not embrace an intentional process for making disciples of all nations (Matt. 28:19) The churches naively believe that as long as they included the ingredients for making disciples---worship, nurture, teaching, outreach----disciples will be produced.

"Us Four and No More" Church. Some churches have adopted an "us four and no more" mentality. They have determined that if they get any larger, they will lose their sweet fellowship. They do not intentionally reject "new" people, but their present relationships are so intimate that any new attendee of the church cannot break into the group. They want a family feel, which means a group small enough to relate like a family. Like residents in the suburbs, they don't want anymore people to crowd in once they are there.

Check in tomorrow for the next four.

Please note, that when I read these descriptions; I get motivated. Motivated because it helps me know the potential that is in every person to want to withdraw to one of these systems. If given enough time and poor leadership; any church can do so. It helps me as a leader to understand and to know how to lead accordingly under the direction of the Holy Spirit. I really believe it's in the honest journey of being under poor (or even ungodly) leadership that churches find themselves in these situations. Let's be honest, if I asked the question, "who wants a stagnant church? The answer will be "Nobody!" Yet according to Leadership Journal, 340,000 churches are in need of church revitalization. Because of that, I want to be the type of leader that is lovingly and gracefully helping turn the tide in the Church. Jesus said, "He would build His Church" and he has given us a part in the process. Some of us carry the wood, some hammer the nails, some clear the site. The important part is to know what part He has called you to play.

Learning from a Master

2010-06-08T14:56:00.010-05:00

Sports legend John Wooden died at age 99 this week.

To be honest, he was more than just a sports legend, he was really a life legend.
Character.
Honesty.
Fortitude
Truth.
Poise.
Loyalty.
Enthusiasm, just to name a few.

"John Wooden was a very religious man and in some ways he treated the game religiously."--William Nack

Of all the wonderful things that have been said about this great man, there was one thing in particular that stood out to me that I think we all in life, especially those of in ministry, can glean and learn from.

In an article, one of Coach Wooden's former assistant coaches made this statement, "Coach Wooden never talked about winning. Instead he told us (coaching staff) "we must master three things: 1. Get them in shape 2. Teach them the basics 3. Teach them to play together."

I find this amazing, especially when so much strife in the church world has to do with "winning."

Get them in shape.
Teach the basics.
Teach how to play well together.

So many of life's issues, both good and bad, have to do with faith. Can we trust God to get us through? What if He doesn't? Why do bad things happen to good people? Or for that matter, why do good things happen to bad people? You can tell if a person is in spiritual shape not by how much they worship or attend church, but how they handle life when things don't work out the way they thought they should.
Is your faith in shape?

As I watched game two in the Laker's VS Celtics NBA Playoffs I witnessed a classic rebound and point conversion because of knowing the basics. It was so inspiring that the announcers kept going back to it during breaks in the game.

If Jesus was a basketball coach I'm pretty sure He would teach the basics over and over. He would be saying to the team, "take care of the basics and you'll achieve the national championship." Or in KJV, "take care of the small things and you'll be ruler over much".
In youth ministry we tried to teach our teens the simple HABITS: Hang time with God, Accountability, Bible memorization, Involvement in church, Tithe, and Service.
The basics are what keep you healthy and produce unwavering hope.
Is your hope grounded?

Teach them how to play well together. Wow! Need I say more?
I will say this: I, like many others, have experienced a "church breakup" (to use polite terms). And one of the biggest questions that arises in that time of healing is, "did I miss God?" After all I pretty sure every minister--including myself--believes the same thing when they go on staff or start attending a church. And that is "God called me here". I won't dispute that.
So what do you do when man calls you away from there?
My vote: leave. I know that sounds harsh and ungodly, but hear me out. Because if you argue from the standpoint of "God called me to this area and we're staying" then what you might as well be saying is, "God thinks the greatest way to reproduce churches is by the way of dysfunction and church splitting."

It would be as if God is up in heaven saying, "you know we could use more churches in that area, I'm going to send Vince to that church because one day they will kick him out and he'll church plant in that same area and then we'll have more churches there!" God then leans over and gives Jesus a high five.

Here is what I've found out during my short time on planet Earth. God gave us all brains to be able to figure some things out on our own. Some things are just highly probable. It's highly probable that a church split is going to do more lasting damage for many years than it will start to do good. If there is a chance that you two can't play well together, go to a different sandbox. Jesus said "if at all possible live peaceable with everyone." Which tells me for some that just won't be possible.

Now I know that sounds really rough and I've probably offended some, if I haven't offended you, just wait your turn I'll get to you; I'm an equally opportunity offender. *wink and smile*

I in no way am questioning what God did or did not tell you, but I've been around the block enough to know sometimes it can be good and people can play well together and sometimes it's just us wanting our way and using whatever scripture and justification to get it. Because the two are sometimes hard to tell apart, that is where accountability comes into play. Because if you submit to someone and they tell you "no" when you feel God told you "yes" then you are not held accountable, they are. Honestly there are too many scripture references to put in this one because the Bible says it from start to finish.
It's a basic in life that will help you love others and play well.

Oh, and how do you know if you're accountable and doing what you should? A timeless key is, "How do you respond when those over you tell you something you don't want to hear? Defensive or offended or quick to respond with a list of why they are wrong? Or do you do what they say with humility and with honor towards them?
How's your love level?

When I hear Coach Wooden say, "Get them in shape, teach them the basics and train them to play well together", I hear the Apostle Paul echo the heartbeat of God by saying, "Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

Only Steps Away

2010-05-05T09:45:00.006-05:00

I love talking about relationships!
In my travels I've enjoyed being able to share with teens and adults some of the Biblical principles that God gives us to ensure we can have the greatest dating and married relationships possible.

From his book, Love For a Lifetime, Dr. James Dobson inserts the findings from doctors Joy and Morris about the steps to relational bonding and how sexual abstinence is so important to marriage and how it relates to the process of bonding.

I'll give you what they call, The Twelve Steps of Bonding, in it's short form. When I talked about these steps to my youth ministry; I had a couple of senior girls who went to college and would say, "Step Eight!!" as their accountability mantra during their dating years.

I'd ask you to consider if these steps are something you enjoy reading and sharing with your group to consider having me come and do a "Guard Your Heart" retreat for your youth ministry. The info and time spent on such an important subject that teens want to hear is well worth it's weight in gold.
Contact me at ministry@vincefarrell.com Enjoy!

12 Steps of Bonding
1. Eye to Body: A glance reveals much about a person.
2. Eye to Eye: When the man and woman who are strangers to each other exchange glances, this is the first step to determine if the relationship moves forward.
3. Voice to Voice: During this long stage the two people learn much about the other. If they're compatible, they become friends.
4. Hand to Hand: The first instance of physical contact between the couple is usually a non-romantic occasion. However, if continued, the hand-to-hand contact will eventually become an evidence of the couple's romantic attachment to each other.
5. Hand to Shoulder: The hand-to-shoulder contact reveals a relationship that is more than close friendship, but probably not real love.

(Again let me interject that I am just giving you the highlights to these steps and not the full description)

6. Hand to Waist: Because this is something that two people of the same sex would not ordinarily do, it is romantic.
7. Face to Face: This level of contact involves gazing into one another's eyes, hugging and kissing.
8. Hand to Head: This is an extension of the previous stage; kissing while stroking each other's head. Rarely do individuals in our culture touch the head of another person unless they are either romantically involved. It is a designation of emotional closeness.

9-12 The Final Steps: The last four levels on involvement are distinctly sexual and intensely private; and because this is on a blog and not something I'm sharing in the confines of a group discussion, I'll leave the last four steps off, you can contact me if you'd like to know. I will however point out that it's step 12 that is the final act of intercourse; with that said I point out to those listening, in our culture we skip the steps and are usually all over the place when in comes to meaningful bonding. No wonder so many marriages in in divorce after only 3 to 7 years.
God has the perfect design for your relationship, one that is to be entered into slowly.

As my college girls would say, "Step Eight! You're going too fast!"

Visit www.vincefarrell.com or contact me at ministry@vincefarrell.com

Faithfulness Equals What?

2010-04-15T21:08:00.006-05:00

I have the privilege to run along side a church in Van Buren, AR this week by speaking on a subject the Pastor is focusing on called, "God's Extreme Makeover." My subject to cover, faithfulness.

Here are a few thoughts I'm planning on sharing.

We typically get our definition of faithfulness by looking at what "we" don't do.

I don't cheat on my wife----so I'm a faithful husband.
I don't run out on my family----so I'm a faithful father.
I don't skip out at church----so I'm a faithful church goer.
I don't steal from my boss---so I'm a faithful employee.

While I certainly agree, I believe faithfulness goes far beyond what you and I don't do. Faithfulness has another side to it, it's reflected by the things we do, as well. Faithfulness is proactive.

Looking from a Biblical point of view--- faithfulness involves stewardship; stewardship is always about responsibility and requires accountability. (Matthew 25:14)
To put it in shorter terms, faithfulness is about responsibility.
Responsibility is not individual, it's communal, it's corporate, it's family.

Most of the references in the Bible concerning faithfulness point towards God. He is faithful!
We are charged to be faithful, and when we live by the Spirit, faithfulness is a fruit the Spirit produces in our lives.
We are most happiest when we are responsible, we were created to be responsible. (Genesis 3)

This week or month, I encourage you to look at every aspect of your life from the lenses of responsibility and ask yourself the question, "how faithful am I, really?" Because faithfulness is responsibility and the hidden truth about irresponsibility states, when we are irresponsible we are asking someone else to pick up our slack and be responsible for us."

Christ did this on the cross for us

As Christians we can't be irresponsible (unfaithful) because ultimately we're not just accountable to our spouse or our boss; ultimately we are accountable to our Heavenly Father.

Be faithful by actively pursuing ways to be responsible in your family, your marriage, your job, your church.

Blessings!

No Blood, No Foul

2010-03-18T22:26:00.003-05:00

"Effective leaders do not fear passion. They welcome it. But from time to time passionate discussion digress into personal attacks, and real people get really hurt. In my view leaders must head that off before it happens." -Bill Hybels

I attended my first staff meeting in over four years.

I was asked by a Pastor whom, I love and respect, to sit in on their staff meeting and give some input and feedback as an "outsider." (can I say I respect him more!)

As I listened and engaged in discussion it was so apparent that this Pastor is a great leader and has great leaders around him. The scriptures tell us, "iron sharpens iron" we know that and like to quote it. But have you ever thought about iron?
It's heavy.
It's rough.
It's hard.
And we need that. We need opturnities to be able to disagree or voice our view; no matter how harsh or heavy it may sound, because we all have the understanding, "we can disagree without drawing blood."

I witnessed two strong personalities "hash out" their strong beliefs about an issue and discovered they were both saying the same thing from two different angles. Allowing this type of dialog actually causes value to be built for both parties involved. It's only if it goes to drawing blood that it devalues everyone involved.

So here's to passion and living passionately in the healthy context of doing life together means we will get dirty, but not bloody.

Birthday Wish

2010-03-03T00:26:00.000-06:00

As Always!

2010-02-26T10:10:00.007-06:00

So I've been working on a video for a contest for a group called AMD Alliance International.
It's been more of a difficult endeavor than I imagined; due to several factors.
It's a serious video---I thrive on slapstick and humor.
The time frame---I've only had 6 days to write, shoot, edit and promote.
The missing pieces.

I needed/wanted a doctor interview concerning AMD and I spent hours on the phone talking to people I knew in the vision field that I thought would help. That was a no.
Then I found out my mother in law had an eye exam scheduled and I would follow her and get the shots I needed, that was a no. Even after I explained there would be no shots that would risk their image, the official word was "it is highly unlikely that we will let you film in our building."

Okay, Plan B.
If I could get my hands on a doctor's white coat, I'll just stage the "interview." Let me just say, finding a Doctor willing to part with a jacket for a few hours is like asking a "rocker" to only play "classical" music. They could, but just don't want to deep down.

Grrrr...Plan C.
So I'm on my way to film the last of two shots, one of which is the "mock doctor with no coat or lab setting."
As I'm driving I had decided to stop by a doctor's office who I had called and left messages with several times; I figured I'd just drop in, ask and see. I prayed, "Lord, give me favor in this and let that Doctor say yes so I can have a lab coat to film with."
Almost there, I see an eye care center and a little voice inside said, "pull in."
I did, the lot was empty so I sat in my truck for a few moments and thought, "ok? I'm going to walk in this strangers office and ask to film them???"

As I walk in and explain my need to the receptionist the Doctor walks up and says, "I'd be happy to help."

I was looking for a lab coat to film a mock doctor interview.
I got a real doctor talking in there lab, doing the interview.
God delivers bigger than our expectations, as always, but why does it come as a surprise? I don't know. But I do know if my God can give this kid a pleasant surprise right when it's needed, then He can and will do the same for you

The finished product will be loaded later today, but I just had to give testimony to God's goodness and faithfulness.

Ask and you shall receive

2010-02-20T17:35:00.006-06:00

Matthew 21:1-3 ...Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, "Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, tell him that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away."

At first glance this looks as if Jesus' lordship overrides the need to show respect by asking for the permission to use something.
But deeper study and looking into the actual verse revels to us that Jesus had a relationship with the owner of the donkey. Jesus gives great detail to what to look for and where to find it; he clearly had been there before.

I imagine there was a time when Jesus visited the man and during a conversation the man said something to the fact of, "Jesus, if ever I can do anything for you, let me know."
The time came for a need, and Jesus was able to call on this friend for that favor.

I remember long ago, my brother was just 4 or 5 years old I was just 10 or 11 and taking him to children's church. He saw the Children's Pastor and asked him for money for the soda machine. Right then and there! I stared to correct him and tell him how rude it was to ask such a thing. But before I could get the words out of my mouth the minister smiled and handed him 50 cents then patted me on the head and said, "you have not because you ask not."
I've carried that lesson with me for over 20 years.

My spiritual father told me once that humans, by nature, are not giving; giving comes the Holy Spirit probing us to do so. So when someone says "if I can do something for you let me know" they are being sensitive and open to God to work through them.

I had a friend offer his help and I had a need. Long story short I was able to simply sit in his office and ask if he was able to meet that need. He was and he did.

As I write this I am still in awe of God's goodness and this man's kindness towards me and my family. Because of him I am now the owner of a wonderful video camera that will be well used for ministry trips, filming jobs and video contest.

Be mindful of people's ability to meet a need. Ask and you shall receive.

Covenant Communities

2010-01-23T00:17:00.003-06:00

Creating community in a church is a much greater challenge than running programs, and most of the problems we face in the church are the result of broken relationships and lack of community.

As we see a new type of church leader emerging; authentic community will become one of the primary standards by which church health will be measured, rather than church size or the number of quality of specific ministry programs.
So the question quickly comes up, "what is authentic community?"
Someone best described it as "real people, in real relationships being real, all the time."
I simply call it, entering into covenant.

Rick Warren has said there are four levels of relationships that people engage into.
The first and most shallowest is Studying together, then
Sharing together, then
Serving together and finally
Suffering together.

This type of community is difficult, messy and sometimes impossible. But it starts with a willingness to engage in time frames that don't fall into the normal "meeting time."

Those that are living at a deeper level of community constantly find themselves with each other in homes, coffee shops or anywhere on almost a daily basis; it's deeper than a "Tweet" or "Facebook" wall post.

Are you engaging into authentic relationships and creating covenant communities?

Am I?

In The Trenches

2010-01-17T23:15:00.004-06:00

I've been asked more than one time, "what's it been like for you to not be on a staff at a church for the last two years?"

One word. Enlightening.

I'm currently reading a book called, "Transformissional Coaching" by Steve Ogne and Tim Roehl.
I would love to put some of my highlighted notes on here for you to enjoy, but the truth is, I'd probably get sued for plagiarism; it's got so much in it that there are literally some pages that only a couple of sentences are NOT highlighted.

For me, the book is valadating why I feel and think the way I do. I've often felt like a rebel or felt hindered in sharing my views for feeling they were "too out there."

As a real quick point of reference and to explain the word transformissional, here is a little breakdown.
Keep this in mind while I share; Times are changing! My kids (4 & 6 years old) will most likely never know what an audio tape was. Much like I never experienced the 8 track. Likewise, young people today view churches like: Willow Creek and Saddleback as "traditional!" That's mind blowing!
It begins with the three major paradigms.

The Traditional Church (1900-1980)

Modern with a rational worldview.
They are pastor-and program-centered.
Worship style is traditional.
Spirituality is determined by attendance, adherence to rules, and position in the church.
Most visible religious figure is Billy Graham.
Missions was always viewed as an "over seas" endeavor. Some would go, others would pay and more would pray.

The Pragmatic Church (1980-2000)

Includes the church-growth and seeker-church movements.
Huge use of media, technology, and innovation.
Worship style is contemporary and performance oriented.
They tend to be ahistorical and minimize religious symbols and architecture.
Market driven and success oriented.
Evangelism focused mostly on reaching the "seeker" and "getting back" the once churched. And they did, thousands returned because now church was relevant for them and their children.
The most visible religious figures are Bill Hybles and Rick Warren.

The Transformissional Leaders (2000 to present)

They are prone to deconstruct and reconstruct ministry.
Have an aversion to performance and programs in the church.
Prefer to emphasize the development of authentic Christian community.
Love to blend the ancient with the contemporary in their worship and environments, such as presenting stained glass on video screens.
Church is viewed as a small part of something larger that God is doing, not as the center of spiritual activity.
They hold to an entirely different view of evangelism. Recognizing that most people with a postmodern worldview have had no experience with a church.
We seek to engage the culture by caring and relating to individuals on their own turf.

(and that was the abbreviate version!)

I agree when they write that neither seminary nor seminar will prepare us to do ministry in the postmodern future.
Equipping will be just in time to keep pace with the rapid changes in culture and ministry
Equipping will be on the job; skill formation and spiritual formation will take place in the midst of ministry.
Equipping in Bible and theology will take place on the Internet, where knowledge is easily and immediately accessible.
For economic and other practical reason the church will regain it's place as the center of ministry training rather than the seminary.
Most training, however, will take place in the trenches of culture. Culture and cocommunities won't be transformed unless a new approach for equipping leaders emerges.

I personally believe it's going to have to be relational. We will continue to need coaches, mentors, teachers, and pastors; we will also need to see an increase in spiritual fathers.

As I travel the globe and see a wide spectrum of churches, one thing remains the same; young transformissional leaders who want and desire spiritual fathers.

Malachi 4:6

What Do You Do With The Baby?

2010-01-07T23:07:00.004-06:00

In order to fully understand the thoughts in this blog, I suggest reading my post called "Family Matters" where I talk about what I have formulated as the three types of ways to start a church.
If you haven't read it go to it now, then come back.
Go ahead, I'll wait.

The Parent.
The Step Parent.
The Illegitimate Child.

I want to clarify and make sure you understand; that when I say illegitimate child, I am in no way referring to the actual child of how we think in the natural. I don't believe there is a such thing as an illegitimate child, God has a purpose and a destiny for every person. It's been best said, "there are no such things as illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents."--Rick Warren.

When I use term illegitimate child--I'm referring to whatever reason starting a church without the blessings of the Pastor or leadership where you attended or served volunteer, staff at ANY capacity before starting your "new work."
For the rest of this post, I'll refer to the "illegitimate child" as "unauthorized church plant" for clarity sake.

Over the the last year or so as I've surveyed new church plants, a majority of them (not all of them) would fall into the category of unauthorized church plant. One or or two would fall under a church split acknowledgment, those that say they did not come out of a church split would also say they started without the open blessings of their previous pastor, regardless-----unauthorized church plant.

While surveying these unauthorized church plants, I've ran across a few (not all of them) that no doubt are doing great things for the Kingdom of God. It's clear they are impacting their city, winning souls and making disciples for Christ. Lives are being changed and I rejoice with them and cheer them on.

So my question is.....
Whether it's a messy church split that has had years to recover, leaving a church without that pastors blessings and starting a church or simply leaving the church you've attended for years and going across the street and starting a new work......does the end justify the means?

Or to put it in the context of a father/son, parent, step-parent mentality......what do you do with the baby?

Acts 18:4-11 Every Sabbath he reasoned in the synagogue, trying to persuade Jews and Greeks.When Silas and Timothy came from Macedonia, Paul devoted himself exclusively to preaching, testifying to the Jews that Jesus was the Christ. But when the Jews opposed Paul and became abusive, he shook out his clothes in protest and said to them, "Your blood be on your own heads! I am clear of my responsibility. From now on I will go to the Gentiles." Then Paul left the synagogue and went next door to the house of Titius Justus, a worshiper of God. Crispus, the synagogue ruler, and his entire household believed in the Lord; and many of the Corinthians who heard him believed and were baptized. One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: "Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city." So Paul stayed for a year and a half, teaching them the word of God.

A mentor of mine gave me that verse to ponder, and I have been. He was not advocating for starting a church next door to the church.
I guess the real answer has to come from the pastors and leadership that caused the unauthorized church plant to begin with, right?

I'd also like to point out that I do recognize two other major issues that are key in these verses that play an important role to a satisfying answer to the specific issue in those verses, you can tell me if you see them too. ;)

"What do you do with the baby?"
I'm all ears, give me some wisdom to think about how this plays out.
Thanks!

Yours for His Kingdom!

Healthy OR Cancerous?

2010-01-05T20:47:00.004-06:00

I am Spirit filled.
I am a person who is lead by the Spirit.

Holy Roller. Super spiritual. Mystical. Weird. Hyper-emotional.
I am not.

With so much misrepresentation about the Holy Spirit from the charismatic world, it's no wonder we live in a culture that wants nothing to do with Him.

Yes Him, not It.
So you probably guessed I'm not a huge fan of the lyrics, "send it on down, send it on down, Lord let the Holy Ghost come on down."

I've even discovered with well meaning church leaders; when it comes to things like: church growth, strategy, direction, casting vision, or structure there are some who play the "just be lead by the Spirit" card.
In fact, I'm sure there are those who think I rely too much on leadership tactics and books instead of the guiding of the Holy Spirit. The reality is, that is the furthest thing from the truth.
Why the confusion?

Because when it comes to leading, we tend to think in an "either/or" mindset.

Are you Spirit filled OR structure oriented?
Are you "sensitive to His guidance OR strategic on your own?
You're EITHER lead by the Spirit or by man.

Whenever I'm asked, "Pastor Vince, do you believe I should just rely on the Holy Spirit for direction OR really be strategic and read leadership books and explore different structures to lead my ministry?" I always just answer, "yes."

Leading a church or a ministry is not an "either/or" issue when it comes to the Holy Spirit and structure.
It's an "AND" issue.

Before God created man, He created the sun, stars, moon----we call this the Solar System. Scientist today have discovered there are billions of little details in the universe that enable life to exist on Earth. Everything from: the color of the sun, to the tilt of the planet, to the amount of salt in the water, to the carbon in the air. There are so many, and if any one of those were just a few points off, life could not exist.
God created a system so man could have life.

Jesus feeding the 5000 had his disciples first get the people in groups of fifty. (Luke 9:14)
And there are many, many, many other examples to give, but long story short---God is a God of order.

One last thought as you pray and seek God to give you wisdom and breathe on your ministry, and then make plans, set strategies, cast vision and set up structures for the upcoming year---

Having structure in a church is like having healthy cells in your body, after all we are referred to as "the body of Christ."
If you look at a healthy cell under a microscope you will see clean lines of the membrane making up the cell, it will look very much like a honeycomb; each one in order and connected.
If you look at a cancerous cell under the microscope you will see the membrane looks a lot like a lava rock; no clear lines or clearly distinguishable sub-system.
What's amazing about the healthy cell and the cancerous cell is that scientist tell us it's not what's "in" the cells, it's how they are "structured", that makes them different.

Wherever God breathes His Spirit into lifeless clay, both life and form spring forth. To operate a ministry with life (Holy Spirit) but without form (structure) you're producing a fast growing carcinoma. (cancer)

Family Matters

2009-12-26T16:24:00.003-06:00

Leaders have to ask themselves, "what are we really trying to accomplish?"
A few weeks ago my Pastor asked me a question that caused me to really stop and think.
Thinking is good.

One of the things I've discovered as I've pursued the next step for us and planting a church....IS...If God asked me, "Son, I know you want to do my will; would you want to plant a church or transition a church?" I'd answer Him by saying transition a church.

I'm not saying that church planting is out.
I've written before that I view church planting as a "family" context. I've developed a formula in church planting thinking, in regards to a spiritual son/father---family mindset.
The Parent
The Step Parent
The Illegitimate Child

The "parent" is the church that plants for the reason they see fit.

The "step parent" is an origination that plants for the value of planting. Let me stress there is nothing wrong with this system.

The "illegitimate child" is the person who goes out and does their own thing without having a covering or blessing of the parent or step parent. Perhaps a better term would be "the unauthorized church planter." But you get the point.

I went to a meeting several months ago. It consisted of a couple dozen guys about my age who were looking to church plant.
One thing that stuck out to me is that everyone seemed to want to church plant to "fix" something.
They had a bad experience.
They just came off a church staff.
Their church had a split.
The church they were at wasn't doing something they saw needed to be done.
They wanted to reach a certain demographic.

I too found myself thinking, "that's why I want too as well."
That meeting was many months ago; at the beginning of our journey to one day pastor, since then I believe my reason no longer lines up with the above reasons.

In my longing to be used by God, I know he has guided my path. While on the path to pastor, I know it's important to fall in love with the church, not the perfect church, not your ideal church, not your "dream" church; but the church with all it's warts and imperfections.

This is where I think many have missed the mark in church planting.
The last thing I want to do is reproduce a church that is a reflection of deep rooted frustration.
I'd rather a church that is focused on bringing people into the family of God.
Church families reproducing other church families.

After all, "what are we really trying to accomplish?"

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T10:35:00.003-06:00

A very special Merry Christmas from our family to yours.
The Farrell Family

There would have never been a purpose for the cross without the reason for the manger.

15 Years Later

2009-12-21T12:05:00.004-06:00

I have a fun little hobby.
Making videos.

For years I've done them as a fun little addition to ministry. I can remember my first ever video edit job. I was 14, had a VHS player, Sony Handycam and a lot of time.
My youth pastor, Preston Smith, wanted a welcome video to show visitors.

The edit was "crude" at best. Hitting pause/record on the VHS player while changing out tapes that would hopefully create an overall feel of our youth group; while holding up hand-drawn pictures to "introduce" each segment.
---I cringe just thinking about it; but it did the job and it was the best we had, and it worked.

Years later, I still enjoy producing videos for ministries; hopefully the quality has improved.
I've entered several contest over the years and have done well. While the Doritos video I produced did not make it to the finals I also got wind of some contest in the Alabama area where we use to live. So we entered (hoping God would breathe on them) because the prize money, although small, would pay the rent for another month.
Sure enough, God indeed has "given daily bread."

Here they are. Enjoy!

1st Place in County Recycling

2nd Place in General Recycling

Christmas Chaos

2009-12-16T00:41:00.004-06:00

The word "Christ" and its compounds, including "Christmas", have been abbreviated in English for at least the past 1,000 years, long before the modern "Xmas" was commonly used. "Christ" was often written as "XP" or "Xt"; there are references in the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle as far back as AD 1021. This X and P arose as the uppercase forms of the Greek letters χ and ρ used in ancient abbreviations for Χριστος (Greek for "Christ"), and are still widely seen in many Eastern Orthodox icons depicting Jesus Christ. The labarum, an amalgamation of the two Greek letters rendered as ☧, is a symbol often used to represent Christ in Catholic, Protestant, and Orthodox Christian Churches.

The labarum, often called the Chi-Rho, is a Christian symbol representing Christ.

The occasionally held belief that the "X" represents the cross on which Christ was crucified also has no basis in fact. St Andrew's Cross is X-shaped, but Christ's cross was probably shaped like a T or a †.

Indeed, X-as-chi was associated with Christ long before X-as-cross could be, since the cross as a Christian symbol developed later. (The Greek letter Chi Χ stood for "Christ" in the ancient Greek acrostic ΙΧΘΥΣ ichthys.) While some see the spelling of Christmas as Xmas a threat, others see it as a way to honor the martyrs. The use of X as an abbreviation for "cross" in modern abbreviated writing (e.g. "King's X" for "King's Cross") may have reinforced this assumption.

In ancient Christian art, χ and χρ are abbreviations for Christ's name.^[9] In many manuscripts of the New Testament and icons, X is an abbreviation for Christos, as is XC (the first and last letters in Greek, using the lunate sigma); compare IC for Jesus in Greek.

(The above was taken directly from Wikipedia, and can be viewed in it's fullness here)

This is not a plea that we should all love and enjoy seeing XMAS instead of Christmas on signs or in print. Because, yes, we live in a culture where "XMAS" is thought of as "taking Christ out of Christmas."
If you are like me, you were told that from a Christian who was told that by a Christian.
But the reality is--that is simply not true.

This post is simply meant to spark a thought in your mind about how to react towards people who don't believe the same thing as you.

I know plenty of well meaning and good hearted Christians who get all up in arms when they see an "X" in place of Christmas or hear "Happy Holidays" instead of Merry Christmas.
I quickly think of the story of Uzzah. (2 Samuel 6:4-7)
God gave instruction for no one to touch the Ark, the priest of Israel are following it back to Jerusalem pulled by ox and it hits a pothole and the Ark starts to fall off the cart, Uzzah reaches up to catch it and is struck dead by God.
??????

Can you hear that conversation in Heaven?
Uzzah---Um, God? Hey, I was just trying to help....did you see what was about to happen?
God--- I did. But Uzzah, I don't need your help. I can take care of it.
Uzzah---Good point, God. So it would have been better for me to not catch the Ark and let it crash, huh.
God---Yep.
Uzzah---I don't know what I was thinking, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

You get the point.

This Christmas lets have a little less chaos by not trying to "help" God out by defending things that really don't matter.
I've discovered the world already knows what we stand against; we typically shout those out pretty loud.
Let's show them the things we are for.

Merry Christmas!

Little Things Part 4

2009-12-03T21:49:00.006-06:00

One of the saddest things that happens in life is to see others fail.
None of us want too, none of us plan too.

I've discovered from the stories in the Bible that it's easy for good men to fail.
If it can happen to them, it can happen to me. It's one of the reasons I believe we all must be proactive in accountability.
It's not just enough to hope or wish or pray and believe that you be a person of character, you have to be active in putting systems and processes in place to keep your character in tact.

Life principle number four, "little things always affect others."

Philippians 2:3,4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

In the verses above there is heavy emphasis to value the needs and interests of others above personal needs and desires; the reason is because there is a link between placing values on others and how we act.

If we truly count the cost of our actions before we do them and consider the effects our actions have on others, then it would cause us to reevaluate the little things (or what we consider little) we do.
How many marriages, families, businesses, churches, lives would be whole and happy and successful because someone stopped and counted the cost for their actions by thinking how it affected someone else.

Song of Solomon 2:15 "It's the little foxes that spoil the vine."
Little things don't stay little.
Little things hamper the power of God in our lives.
Little things should not be despised.
Little things always affect others.

Little Things Part 3

2009-12-01T19:38:00.009-06:00

Principle one: Little things don’t stay little.

Principle two: Little things hamper the power of God in our lives.

When Jesus tells the story about the master who gives three of his servants different amounts of money to take care of, he makes the statement about the two who acted wisely with their amount, he says, “His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things.” (Matthew 25:23)

In this parable, Jesus, is unfolding the principle in life that “we are managers” and it’s how we manage what we’ve been given that determines how much we will govern in the future.

In my travels I’ve met many “if-only” people. “If only” I had that type of church, “if only” I had that type of youth budget, “if only” I had those talents and abilities, “if only” I had that type of money, if only, if only, if only……

If only is never the real issue because it allows the focus to be in the wrong area. If we really got all our “if only” wishes then we would think it’s all about us and that it’s all ours; when it’s not. Everything comes from God, everything is His; we just manage what he’s given us.

In the parable, it was the master that gave different amounts to the servants. It was then up to the individual how they managed it. Good managers not only made more, they were entrusted with more in the future.

Life principle numbers three when it comes to little things, “little things should not be despised.”

In the story of David and Goliath, after Saul tells David to put on his armor to fight Goliath, David does but the armor didn’t fit and the verse that follows points us back to the little thing principle. (1 Samuel 17:40) “Then HE took HIS staff in HIS hand; and HE chose for HIMSELF five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in HIS shepherd’s bag, in HIS pouch which HE had, and HIS sling was in HIS hand. And HE drew near to the Philistine.”

Everything we have has been given to us by God. He has given us everything we need to accomplish His will for our life. Don’t despise the little things. Whatever “little” is to you: your youth ministry, your church, the class you teach, your job, income, talent, ability; thank God for the opportunity to manage it for Him. Like my friend, Song Flagler says, “Appreciating the little things will keep us in a constant state of thanksgiving."

When we are thankful and take care of the little things God has given us to manage; He gives us more because He sees we've been faithful with what He has already given us.

Little Things Part 2

2009-11-30T10:28:00.009-06:00

At certain times of the year there are words none of us like to hear. In April it’s the word “taxes."

During the holidays it’s the word “debt” and when you were younger it was “cuties.”

But year round there is perhaps one word in the English language that none of us enjoy hearing regardless of age, and that’s the word “obey.”

In Exodus 3, we see God calling Moses to destiny; the burning bush encounter. Moses then goes to his father-n-law to tell him the news and starts heading to Egypt. Then we read in just a few verses later, “And it came to pass on the way, at the encampment, that the LORD met him and sought to kill him.” (Exodus 4:24)

As we read, we discover the reason why. Oh, and keep in mind the God of the universe who knows everything, who knew the “issue” before He called Moses in Exodus 3:4, still called Moses.

“Then Zipporah, Moses’ wife, took a sharp stone and cut off the foreskin of her son and cast it at Moses^] feet, and said, “Surely you are a husband of blood to me!” So He let him go. Then she said, “You are a husband of blood!”—because of the circumcision." (Exodus 4:25)

She knew what the issue was, not obeying God’s command about circumcision

Life principle number two when it comes to little things; “little things hamper the power of God in our lives.”

Moses was a Hebrew and knew that all Hebrew boys were to be circumcised. His son was not, and really if you listen closely you can understand why he wasn’t. You can hear the reasoning at the dinner table. Zipporah, who was not Hebrew tells Moses, “I don’t want that done to my son, besides Moses, you’ll never see your people again, what’s the point?” At the time I’m sure this made sense to Moses. He had no plans to return.

What seemed like a little thing at the time now has become a big problem.

Sound familiar?

Isn’t that true how we justify and rationalize our reasons for not obeying?

The problem is, we are not God. We don’t see everything and know what the future holds. How we choose to obey God’s commands either facilitates or hamper the power of God in our lives.

Choose today to not allow any little act of disobedience to hamper the power of God in your life. Remove those seemingly harmless little justifications for sin or self pleasures that grieve God and allow the power of God to flow through you to fulfill the call He has for you.

Live out your destiny in power.

Little Things: Part 1

2009-11-29T16:23:00.009-06:00

In the Hebrew vineyards, there were watchtowers placed throughout. Men would watch for possible thieves, for animals looking for food. Once an intruder was discovered it was quickly disposed of. However on many occasions the tops of the vine would rot and die to many of the watchman's surprise, they'd then discover the base of the vine had been eaten on and they could not spot this problem from their towers.

Solomon pens these words, "it's the little foxes that spoil the vine." (Song of Solomon 2:15)

Smaller animals not big enough to be seen from the watchtowers were going unnoticed and killing the harvest.

I'd like to share with you four thoughts about "small things" that I'm currently developing a series on, I hope you enjoy them.

Psalms 137:9 is one of the sickest verse if you read it by itself, in fact, it would be some very confusing counsel if followed without the fullness of it's content.
At the time, King David is writing songs about many of the great things of God, and many of the sorrow of Israel. These words that David writes come after an enemy nation's army burnt down their homes, taken their men into captivity, raped their women and killed their children.
David writes, "happy is the one that takes and dashes your baby's heads against the rocks!"

Life principle number one when it comes to little things; "little things don't stay little."

David knew that one day those little babies would grow up and one day be warriors that Israel would do battle with, that would burn their homes, rape their women and kill their men.
In our lives we must be aware of the "little things" that we are playing with and think are "no big deal" or "can give up anytime" or "nothing wrong with" because the truth is, little things don't stay little. God told Cain that "sin lies at the door and it's desire is to rule over you."
Notice God said, "lies" He didn't say busting down the door, or barges in. Sin waits, it starts small, it creeps.
It's a little thing now, but over time it will grow.
Little things don't stay little.

Join me in the ongoing quest to ask God to help me get rid of the "little things" in my life that I've allowed to creep in. He is faithful and His mercy and grace are sufficient to help us overcome the little things before they become big.

Happy bashing.

Wisdom from a Child

2009-11-07T22:11:00.002-06:00

"Daddy, what did you want to be when you grew up?" My six year old daughter asked me.

"Well, for a while, I wanted to me an architect and build things. But then I thought about pursuing acting to become an actor." (mainly due to my drama friends in high school)

"What's an actor?" She responded.
"You know a person who you see on videos and movies. But I really found out what God wanted me to be when I started pastoring." I replied.

"It sounds to me you do all those things; you built a house, churches and us beds and you're in lots of videos and you pastor lots of people." She responded.

Hmm... A people builder, media engaging Pastor. Yes, that does sound about right.

I'm currently putting together information that I will release in January concerning the next steps in our journey as we follow God.
If you'd like to receive an information packet about our next steps and pray with us about it, email me at ministry@vincefarrell.com

Yours for His Kingdom,
Vince Farrell
www.vincefarrell.com

I'd like some wisdom, please.

2009-11-03T20:24:00.001-06:00

There is a saying that goes, “with age comes wisdom.”

Sounds nice, should even be true, right? If you’re like me you’ve met some older people who have no more sense than when they were teens.

James 1:5 says, “if any of you lacks wisdom, ask God, who gives liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

I notice in this verse that there seems to be no age limit on who can ask or receive wisdom. In fact I believe the older I get the more and more I need wisdom.

My father-n-law and I have been talking, praying and seeking God about some plans I’ve shared with him concerning church planting. I want to make sure the time and place is a God thing and not a Vince idea.

He has told me, “Vince, if you make a mistake, you can recover. But at my age if I make a mistake, I die with that mistake.”

Why?

Recovery time.

The older we get the more and more we must seek God’s wisdom. A life that constantly seeks out Godly wisdom will one day get the luxury of saying, “at my age, I’ve got some wisdom.”

It's about the Cargo

2009-10-29T21:57:00.002-05:00

I think we've all heard the analogy between small churches and speedboats and larger churches and tankers.

The smaller can make changes quickly much like a speedboat while the larger has to take it's time and move slowly, much like the large church.

I brought up the question of "why" on Face Book and got a lot of good and right answers.
Some were very technologically sound; "the draft and freeboard--speedboat sits on top of water, tanker has a lot below the water line" and "less friction" and "momentum."
Other answers were more deep, such as, "As with life, that which requires a greater investment of time and energy to gain momentum to move, also requires more to change it's course. It's bigger!" Or the classic "your tanker has "fatter" people on it." (Thanks Josh!)

All these answers are true, but one thing I've never thought of until I heard it said from a dear Pastor friend last week was that "it depends also on the cargo." Pastor David Gibson went on to explain that an oil tanker needs about a 5 to 6 mile radius to make it's turn. The reason is due to the liquid cargo; if it makes too sharp of a turn it will cause a shift in weight and the cargo itself will cause the ship to turn over; meaning, it's not just a size issue, it's also about the cargo.

In relating to churches, I know of large churches that were able to make some quick changes without shipwrecking, and some small churches that needed to take their time.
Why? Was it just a size issue? No.
It's about the cargo.
People.

People are the cargo we take with us in every journey. As a leader we need to know our ship and the people on it. If we make a change and the cargo tips over and causes the ship to sink, while the cargo was the result, it was the leader who navigated that way.

Navigate well and remember the cargo.

Goals in the Everyday

2009-10-24T15:10:00.002-05:00

"The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream."--Harry Kemp

I got to spend lunch with a man who I love and trust, Ed Huie. I always enjoy our time together and he is someone who I've asked to speak into my life.

Here are some thoughts I've taken away from meeting with him and hearing his wise council, that may be of good encouragement to you as well.

Innate within every human being, there are at least three God-given desires....

The desire to worship something bigger than we are.
The desire to help those less than we are.
The desire to belong to something bigger than we are.

With those desires comes the doors that we either open or close to see them fulfilled or left unaccomplished. Like any door, they have hinges.
Hinges are the seemingly small detail to a door, but without them, the door will never open because a door is just a wall with it's hinges.

In my journey, looking for open doors has become a second nature to me and I've discovered what Ed has said many times is true, "Ministry opportunities aren't really about the door, it's about the hinges---hinges that are full of people who are dedicated, bring a distinction and are dependable."

Choose a goal for which you are willing to exchange a piece of your life. Doing so will result in meaningful relationships that will thrust you into worship, help and belonging bigger than you are.

Crash The Superbowl

2009-10-23T09:37:00.000-05:00

Here is my video entry for the Doritos Contest.
Enjoy!

Blocks, Scaffolding and Rocks

2009-10-16T14:20:00.006-05:00

During my time in the restaurant business; I managed with the mindset, "people are our greatest assets."
After all, buildings become outdated, tools need revamping, equipment breaks down; but people, people can learn, grow, bend, and adapt. People are our greatest assets.

Then along comes, Jim Collins with his book, "Good to Great" where he expounds on the thought with the "First Who then What" principle and explains that people are not our greatest assets---the RIGHT people are and furthermore the right people in the right spot.
At first glance this sounds like a heartless and even manipulative statement. But I've discovered it's mainly heartless and manipulative leaders who think that; because they interpret out of how they see. (Every one's toes okay? Whew good, I know that wasn't for anyone reading this anyway)

It's true. While we as leaders want everyone to run with the vision, the truth is not everyone will.
I've discovered there are three types of people who run with vision you have.
1. People who run with you.
2. People who don't run with you but hang out for the after party.
3. People who run with you for a while, then change tracks.

I love how my friend, Barry Morton, who church planted four years ago, puts it (as he quotes a mentor of his)
"Some people are like scaffolding; they're important and valuable for the beginning stages of the building, but eventually have to come down."

This is important to know when building, because some simply won't go the distance. They will find something "that needs their help" or "is just getting started"---and they will go.
Don't get discouraged with "scaffolding people."

In building; rocks, blocks and scaffolding all have their place. It's important to know what their place is and allow them to contribute to the level they can.

Getting the right people in the right spot makes all the difference as you lead with vision.

Marriage, Points and Manna

2009-10-13T00:20:00.000-05:00

I just finished up with a two-day marriage retreat in Summertown, TN.
We had a fantastic time taking a biblical look at marriage and learning some key principles to make our marriages go the distance.

In one session alone I just spent time outlining "The Four Laws of Marriage." They come from Genesis 2: 23-24, which says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."

In these two verses God gives us His ways for marriage.
Allow me to share one of the four with you.

"And shall cleave unto his wife." This is the law of pursuit.

Marriage takes work. A healthy marriage is one that is worked on continuously.
The reason why this "law" of marriage tends to fall through the cracks is because by nature we become lazy once we've acquired what we were pursuing.

I call it the "Woo, Woo, Whoa" syndrome. In the early stages of chasing after her; us guys do a lot of "wooing"---we dress nice, buy gifts, open doors (you get the picture) Then once we have her, we "whoa."
Or maybe it's not so much that we "whoa" as much as we don't understand the "point" system.

Yes, there is a point system all of us married guys keep up with; and they are valid points. Washing the dishes. One point.
Vacuuming. One point.
Buying flowers on a "non-special" day. One point.
Voluntary help with the kids. One point. And many more.
The problem is all points evaporate at midnight. They can't be stored up and cashed in when you want. Because love has to be pursued daily and without hidden motivation.

It's the "manna principle." Each day the Israelites were given food from Heaven, but they could only collect enough food for that day. After that day, all the leftover food spoiled and was no good.

In order to be a success in anything; you have to work at it. Sports, career, health, school; if you want it to be better then you have to work at it, but for some reason when it comes to marriage many tend to think they can stop working at it.
Don't be like so many that quit pursuing their spouse once the ring is on the finger; because like day old manna, it will sour and spoil.

Outside the Apple Box Thinkers

2009-10-03T17:22:00.004-05:00

Today my family and I enjoyed a wonderful time at the "Apple Festival" in Lincoln, AR. It was about an hour away from where we live; and with clear skies and the weather resting at 68, it was perfect.

There's a question I had pop into my head over and over again as we passed the many display tables. Here it is.
"As a Pastor of a church, what would I do here to stand out from the rest of the booths, to be a blessing to people?"

I say this because I saw two, maybe three church booths that were there. They were selling things. One even had a little basketball hoop set up for kids to play.

So if you would, send my your thoughts on what would be a blessing to people in this type of setting while helping to set a positive image for the church and it's members.
I'm asking for "out of the box" suggestions because I do not consider selling items as a way of accomplishing the goal. (My opinion, not saying it's right or wrong; just not my way of thinking)

*Please note, I am not a Pastor of a church-----not yet ;)

Spiritual Leadership

2009-09-22T11:04:00.004-05:00

"Spiritual leadership is moving people on to God's agenda."

There are some distinctive elements that bring clarity between the difference of a leader and a spiritual leader. While spiritual leadership involves many of the same principles as general leadership, spiritual leadership has certain distinctive qualities that must understood and practiced if spiritual leaders are to be successful.

Traits of a Spiritual Leader

1. Influence: The spiritual leader's task is to move people from where they are to where God wants them to be.

2. Discernment: Spiritual leaders depend on the Holy Spirit.

3. Accountable: Spiritual leaders are accountable to God and operate with acute sense of accountability; and place people around them to exercise transparency.

4. Kingdom Builders: Spiritual leaders work from God's agenda. It's so easy to slip into pursuing our own agenda rather than seeking God's will.

God does not ask leaders to dream big dreams for him or to solve the problems that confront them. He asks leaders to walk with Him so intimately that, when he reveals what is on his agenda, they will immediately adjust their lives to his will and the results will bring glory to God.

These thoughts were taken from the book, "Spiritual Leadership" by Henry & Richard Blackaby

Props to Brad

2009-09-20T21:24:00.003-05:00

So here I am looking at my blog thinking of what to type when my friend, Brad Post, just posted his blog thoughts.

Several weeks ago I wrote about the difference between "membership and partnership"; Brad's post particularly caught my attention because it reflects some great thoughts concerning the heart of honor.

I met Brad online through blogging and got to meet him and his family in person a couple of months ago when they were traveling from Atlanta to Oklahoma. They were kind enough to make a pit stop in Alma, AR so we could connect.
Check him out on Facebook, his blog, or follow him on Twitter.
Below is his post. I hope you enjoy his blog as much as I do.

Welcome VS Honor
I shared this with our Welcome Team this morning from Turning Point Church at our VIP meeting which was inspired from a conversation I had earlier this week with Larry Brey from Elevation Church from a blog he posted. It covers the difference between welcoming someone and honoring them. This would relate to anyone in church, in business and at the house.

There is a huge difference when we welcome someone into our house, church or business and honor them. Welcoming is great and people feel a sense of security but honoring someone is totally different.

The difference in our Welcome Team:

• For our Greeters: is not just handing them a bulletin and saying welcome but if it is their first time and they have children walk them to the children’s check in, talk with them during the process.

• For our Parking Team: it is a difference from just waving at them and actually opening the door with them.

• For our Ushers and Sanctuary Greeters: it is a difference in saying showing them where the coffee is and making it for them or showing them an open seat and actually taking them to it.

Try this phrase when you see a client, friend or co-worker this week, “It is an honor to see you today.” There is such a greater impact than saying anything else. I used this a few times this Sunday and had a few people look at me like “wow” or they were just looking at me like I was crazy..one of the two.

Is it Voice mail or Voice jail?

2009-09-04T10:54:00.007-05:00

It's been well said, "make sure your voice mail doesn't become a jail."

We live in a time where communication is easier than it's ever been. Cell phones, internet, blogs, Skype, video conferencing, text, email, social networks, the list goes on and on.
With so many ways to get in contact with people, it also means so many ways not to hear from people as well.

Phone calls still reign supreme as the best way to communicate; not only because so many methods can be linked to the cell phone, but because it's more personal hearing the persons voice. There's a level of intimacy that goes with connection on the phone.

Make sure your voice mail doesn't become a jail to those trying to get a hold of you.
As leaders we must be sharp on this issue. It doesn't mean we call back the very second we miss a call; but it does mean we don't let responding to peoples messages go days without returning them.
We're all busy. No one argues that.
But you'd be surprised what reputation you can gain by being quick to respond; or lose by keeping someone waiting in "voice jail."

Membership VS. Partnership

2009-08-29T23:46:00.003-05:00

I was at Starbucks with my wife and while we sat and sipped away; I picked up a "Starbucks Gold" card application form. Starbucks has a "membership" program. Pay them a yearly fee and get certain perks. It's nothing new, tons of stores offer this type of program to already paying customers.

Some business, in fact however, won't even let you be a customer without a membership.
Blockbuster video,
Sam's Club,
Anytime Fitness gym are a few I've had in my life

Membership seems to be defined as, "pay a fee and receive benefits from our services."

I dare to say this mentality has spilled over into most churches; after all, every church has a membership.
Membership is referred to when answering the famous "how many" question.
It usually goes something like this: So, how many do you have in the church?" "Well we have about 600 members."
But the actual attendance is around 250.
Membership invites a mental understanding that because "I pay, I should get."

I say all this not to poke fun or degrade churches.
I say all this to encourage a change in our view of church attendees.

I'm not interested in doing things because that's how we always did them. So I throw out this simple thought.
Instead of offering "Church Membership" how about "Church Partnership"

Partnership says, "no matter the cost, I'm committed to the vision of this organization."
Partnership goes way beyond dropping your dues into a plate or clocking in your time at the front door.
Partnership is an understanding that it's not about me and it's not about you; it's about them. Those who don't know Christ.

Now if you're reading this and say, "hey, Vince! What you said about partnership is the exact same thing we have as our membership at church."

Great! I say. But remember that's not what our culture and people in our church understand for the most part.
Think about creating a "Church Partnership" mentality in your ministry and watch what happens.

Thoughts from the Week

2009-08-13T20:20:00.004-05:00

I just got back from the Indiana area where I spent a great week in ministry.
Friday I spent some one on one time with leaders from XENOX Industries and taught some sessions on youth leadership. Saturday night I spoke to the entire youth ministry and had an awesome time in the presence of God.
Sunday morning was an experience in it's self. It was one of those moments in time when God gives a direct word and confirms it in different ways.
I particular enjoyed my time with Pastor Gibson. There was an instant connection I felt in my spirit with him and the members of Charity Tabernacle.
I could feel months worth of "crud" flake off and a new brokenness as I ministered Sunday morning.

This trip was more than just getting to minister, but it was a week getting to connect with Pastors and pick their brain concerning pastoring.

As I sift through the feelings, information and desires in my heart; I know one thing is a must---
get input from others!

At this point in my life, I don't know if I'm to start a new work, or take over an existing work....but I do know this; it will be pastoring. So, I continue my journey.

Here are some thoughts that I picked up from a couple of pastors, as well as my own thoughts, while traveling last week. Thank you pastors David Gibson and Dehner Maurer for your time.

"I don't ever believe it's God's will to start a church by proselyting other church members."--Vince

"Whatever you do; there will always be a price to pay." --Pastor David Gibson

"The best staff is the one you enjoy doing life together with."--Pastor Dehner Maurer

"Commitment and vision is key, and commitment to the vision is a must"--Vince

"When I think of churches doing plays, I often think, who left it up to the church to handle the entertainment department?!?"--Pastor David Gibson

"You can talk about being a multi-culture church, but if you are----it will show up first in your congregation, be evident in your leadership teams, and in plain sight on your staff." --Dehner Maurer

Connecting the Dots

2009-07-31T23:21:00.005-05:00

My son, who just turned four, loves the activity--connect the dots.
When he was younger the game was simple, with only ten dots for him to draw a line to one another to connect.
Now he's on the pages that have up to thirty dots for him to draw a line to connect.

And because he is our son, he has a double dose of "perfectionism." He get's real upset when he realizes that he went the wrong way and connected the wrong dot.

But you should see him when he connects them all properly.
He comes running to me to show off his work of art.
That's awesome! As I take the wonderful picture from his hands to admire.
He beams with pride.

Our life should be a beautiful picture that we can run to God with and say, "look Dad!"
The devil knows this; it's why he tries so many times to get us to miss the dot moment.
What is a dot?
A dot, for us, is a moment in life when you or I have to make a choice or decision.
We choose wisely---a successful connection of the dot to another in our lives.
We choose poorly---we can get off track, make a bad testimony for ourselves; even do some serious damage to our lives, and more than likely we have to go back and retake that "dot moment"---because our heavenly Father loves us that much, He lets us "re-draw."

2 Peter 1:5-9 (NKJV)
But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, ⁶ to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, ⁷ to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. ⁸ For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹ For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.

Before I share what I believe are some great "connecting the dot" helpers, please note that the end of verse 9 echoes what is mentioned in the beginning of verse 5.
In a nutshell it tells us, "if you have been saved by grace because of Jesus Christ, then you should be growing in your faith. The elements that are listed, pay attention to and use them in partnership with the power of the Holy Spirit, already in work in you."

Here are three quick thoughts from this scripture that I believe will help us, "add to our faith" and successfully connect the dots in our Christian walk.

1. Practical Biblical Teaching: "But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge... " We need to be diligent to learn the Word of God. But not just so we can be a spiritual "know it all." But because it's a key to growing our faith. It's a compass to give direction when we're "on the dot" and need to know which way to go. Biblical knowledge works hand in hand with the Holy Spirit to help us make the proper decision.

2. Private Disciplines: "to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance," This is not my strongest area. However, I've noticed when I give special attention to the "things I don't want to do--but do them anyway" then it becomes easier and easier for me to do them and for me to do a better job at connecting the dots. There seems to be less mess and more beauty.

3. Providential Relationships: "to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. Upon doing some study into this verse, there seems to be some distinction between just "brotherly kindness" and "brother kindness love." In short, the latter is what Christ said the "second greatest commandment is like the first." This is the real rubber meets the road Christian living, but before you can get there you first have to have practiced a lifestyle of showing some "brotherly kindness" to those of like faith.
If you have siblings then you know the fighting is. It's probably why it hurts so much when it happens in the Church. But the point here is that you and I need fellow brothers and sisters that we love enough to be real, honest, loving, truthful, respectful, and compassionate towards; especially if we're to take that love to a word that does not know Him. Providential relationship is one that will always bring you closer to Christ; helps you connect the next dot, even if it hurts. Which means not every Christian friendship will be on that level, and that's okay, but you and I need the people in our life that know how to live "brotherly kindness."

Hope you enjoyed these thoughts and hope they help you when you find yourself on a dot and needing direction to make the next line a successful one. If you have any Biblical revelation on this subject, drop me a line, I'd love to here it.
I'm sharing this message in a couple of weeks to a wonderful youth ministry called, Ignited. God is doing amazing things in the church. Their youth are running around five hundred in weekly attendance and is filled with young men and women who love God and are making difference in their town.

Make beautiful pictures, connect the dots.

The Difference

2009-07-28T14:27:00.007-05:00

I'm here in Mexico, and tomorrow I get the honor to speak to hundreds of Pastors in the morning service.
The theme of the conference is called, "Making History." While at the same time there is a special service to honor my father-n-law, Dale Yerton, for his 40 years of ministry to Mexico.
Here is what I feel in my heart to share.

The Difference
I've always looked at my relationship with Dale as a Paul/Timothy relationship. He truly is more than just a spiritual father; however, it was when we were ministering in Peru together that the Pastor introduced us as "Moses and Joshua."
That phrase has echoed in my ears.

What could I say to a group of pastors who many have served for years in their churches, some just starting out?
What words do I pen to drive home the theme, "Making History"?

I've chosen to look at two major time frames in the life of Moses. When it comes to making history, Moses sure does take the top of the list. But the thing that I want to point is when he was first "called into ministry" and when he "exits the ministry."

Think about this: Moses was the first person ever called into full-time vocational ministry.

Many people up to this point loved God, lived for God, did great things for God; however Moses was the first who had the responsibility to "pastor" people.

Question: What will be the difference between you making history and watching history being made?

The Beginning
When called by God Moses gives five excuses or reasons why he can't be the one. We all do this. Each time God gives Moses the answer. I'll paraphrase, you can find this in Exodus 3 and 4.
1. Moses, Who am I?
God, You're the one I'm with.
2. Moses, Who are you?
God, I AM, so don't worry about it.
3. Moses, What if they don't believe.
God, I turn dead things alive, I'm not worried about unbelief.
4. Moses, I'm not adequate for the job.
God, are you saying I make poor choices?
5. Moses, Is there anyone else you could send?
God, I know the value of relationships, I'll give you a helper.

In the midst of all this, God asks Moses a question, "What is in your hand?" Moses responds, "a rod." After this God does a miracle.
Two things about this. 1. When God asks a question its not because He doesn't know the answer, and 2. God never does a miracle to "show off."

The rod represented 3 things about Moses: his identity, his income and his influence. It's as if God is saying, "Moses as long as you hold on to that which is in your hand it will remain dead, but if you give me your identity, your influence, your income, I'll make that thing that is dead, become alive."
It was after this Moses's staff is forever called, "The Rod of God."

The Difference? Will you hold on or will you give over?

The End
There is so much I write about this but I want to keep it short, so here I try. This happens in Numbers 27:12.
God tells Moses, "your purpose in live will be completed, even though you won't get to go into the promise land, your people will. You're going to die here, they will enter the land."
Point---When a man of God dies, the plans of God do not.
We all leave some day. It may be by death, resignation, firing, etc. The plans of God will continue after we're gone. So who (to pastors) are you going to hand the torch to?

Moses only has two requests, (found in verse 16-17) 1. God you decide who it should be. It's amazing that Moses didn't bring a list and say, "here are some that I've been looking at, what do you think?" He simply says, "God whoever you want, I want." 2. "Let him be a person with the people." Someone who is a people person, good with people, someone who doesn't shy away from being there in the midst of the people." It's not to say that administration skills or teaching, preaching skills aren't needed but it's not the main thing.
God tells him it will be, Joshua.

Why Joshua? What's the difference between Joshua and anyone else. Up to this point only two were qualified, Caleb and Joshua. (ten spy ordeal) But we see that it was Joshua that served Moses from his youth. Joshua knew the heart of Moses and had been with Moses as an armor bearer. I think this has great significance in the Kingdom.
I think it's the difference worth paying attention to.

Footnote: This is in my heart, I see it in scripture, I think it's one of the greatest mistakes we as leaders/pastors and young leaders make. There is a difference between success and significance. Pastors you must think beyond your years. I thank God for Willy George in waking up a church in the 90's with the understanding of "turning the hearts of the father to the children" youth movement. But it must not end there. We need some spiritual fathers turning their heart to some spiritual sons and let God pick who its going to be after you're gone.

For those of you who know me, you know I enter a lot of "youtube" video contest. I got a rude awakening with one of the contest. In the detail entry it said, "if you're old, you can't enter." I laughed and clicked on it, to discover no one over the age of 25 was allowed to enter. Now I'm 33 and not old, but you know what? Yea! Probably some truth in there.

If you're a Pastor in your 30's, now is the time to start fathering as many as you can.
If you're a Pastor in your 40's, it's not to late, but you do have one day less than you did yesterday!
If you're in your 50's, and your not fathering, shame on you because you're not seeing the big picture. You think you're in your prime, and you're not. (don't confuse prime with relevant)
If you're in your 60's and your just starting the process----you're probably just looking for someone to keep doing what you did. Keep everyone happy, don't rock the boat, after all you've been successful---keep the success going, right? Nope, here's a truth, your predecessor will most always be different than you. (and that's good)
Past this, you should be enjoying watching your sons and grandsons in the church lead.

(ok, think I've offended everyone with the above, so I'm done now)

Ummmm.....

2009-07-18T20:03:00.007-05:00

I admit it.
I'm terrible at blogging.

My wife Lora, is awesome at blogging. She works hard at it. Reads and leaves comments on most of the ones she follows.
It's almost a full time job.

I keep up with several blogs, and try to be faithful in reading them. Commenting is another thing.
Some of the blogs I follow post every other day or so.
Some post daily!

I admire them all.
Me? I just post when I've got something worth saying.
And to be honest that's the scary thing about wanting to plant a church.
There's a part of me that thinks; "how in the world am I gonna come up with a message every week?" Clearly there are thousands of Pastors who do it and have done it for many, many years. I've spent eight years in ministry preaching weekly. Five of those eighty speaking about three times a week.
And there is my concern. I've been guilty of information overload.

I've often said, "the way pews got their name in church is by people sitting in them and soaking and then souring----pew!"
I look at things in life and think, "what things did you hear about the first time and got it, and started doing it right then?"--Honestly, not too many.
There's got to be a different way to "do" church in a way that reflects the personality of the leader. Right? Does every church have to be the same four song line up, shake hands, offering, preach, go home, repeat a few more times schedule?
I'm not calling for a church revolution....I'm simply asking, does a person have to fit that mold to become a pastor?
Discipleship is a process. One that I personally think can be done in a different way than what has been patterned for years. One I hope to be able to articulate the closer I get to launching a new church.
When? I don't know.
Where? I don't know.
But as God gives clear direction to His will, I do know this, it will be worth blogging about.

Youth Camp Vlog

2009-07-11T11:39:00.002-05:00

Sailing Again Vlog

2009-07-07T14:44:00.002-05:00

Keeping it Simple

2009-07-06T09:12:00.001-05:00

Rethinking Church

2009-07-04T08:57:00.000-05:00

Small Groups

2009-07-03T22:45:00.002-05:00

A Father's Advice

2009-06-19T15:44:00.006-05:00

Sending his son out into the world, a Father gave his son the following rules, without which he said he could not hope to get on:
Tell the truth---falsehoods are hard to remember.
Shine the heels of your shoes as well as the toes.
Don't lend money to your friends---you will lose both.
Don't watch the clock; it will keep going---you do the same.
You do not need clean cuffs every day, but you need a clean conscience all the time.
Don't borrow money, unless you positively have the wherewithal to pay it back--and then you don't need it.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there and thanks dad for the good advice you've given me over the years.

Pay attention and grow wise, for I am gibing you good guidance. Don't turn away from my teaching. Proverbs 4:1-2

I will teach you wisdom's ways and lead you in straight paths. If you live and life guided by wisdom, you won't slip or stumble as you run. Proverbs 4:11-12

Get all the advice and instruction you can, and be wise the rest of your life. Proverbs 19: 20

Timely advice is as lovely as golden apples in a silver basket. Provers 25: 11

Website

2009-06-17T13:38:00.003-05:00

Well, Ive been working on getting a website up and running and finally got it launched today.

Check it out. You should be able to click the picture below. If not, it's www.vincefarrell.com

Blessings!!!

A Father's Day Video

2009-06-14T00:40:00.002-05:00

I've always wanted to do a video for Father's Day, so I did.
Enjoy.

Camps, Retreats and Summer Oh, My!

2009-06-11T23:17:00.006-05:00

I've spoken with many Youth pastors and Pastors on the subject of "summer camp."

The responses are quite mixed, they range from;

Love to go to camp, it's great for the teens.

Camps are a necessary evil.

Got to keep teens busy.

Summer camp, ahhh!!!

Honestly, we've probably dealt with ALL of those feelings at one time or another.

I've always viewed camp as a great time to take teens away and get them exposed to something bigger than the local church while at the same time forming bonds with the teens. Regardless of your feelings about this time of year, allow me to share some thoughts on the subject.

I have the honor to speak at a camp this summer and then turn around and take a group of teens from a church to another camp.

Back to Back.

I've been doing some praying and research about camp and here's what I've discovered.

In a survey of over a 100 teens, a simple question was asked, "have you ever made a decision at a camp to make Jesus Lord of your life and has that still held true today?"

7 out of 10 said yes! The actual stat is 71% of teens asked said, they made a commitment to follow Christ and are still doing so.

Wow! What a return on an investment!

Here's another tidbit of info, several youth pastors got together and came up with 11 different things they thought teens would like at a camp. They then gave the list to those teens and asked them to rank the top 3 that was most important to them at camp. (I've added a pic below for total view)

42% said "More in-depth exploration of God"

41% said "Building deeper friendships"

Wow! Now think about this; Jesus gave us the two greatest commandments: love God with all that is within us and love people in the same way. Seems that camp is a great tool to help teens foster that type of mentality.

Now here is the final thought about these and many more findings.

It really doesn't matter if it's a small camp or large camp. What does matter is putting everything into the planning stage and execution to making it the best camp you can on whatever budget you have to work with.

No one likes cheesy (ok, some people do, it's why there are books dedicated to poking fun of church marquee signs---I have two books, they're great.....they give my purpose strength!!)

Teens don't like cheesy, but they hate fake more!

Cheesy can be tolerated, but if it's not real, they'll check out in a heartbeat.

This summer ask God to give you fresh vision for your teens, ideas for the camp experience to make their experience with God real and with others, loving.

Controlled Chaos

2009-05-26T22:38:00.003-05:00

One of the things I'd try to make sure we had in our youth ministries was a little element called "controlled chaos."
Let's face it, teens just want to have fun. Guys too.
I believe that if you can have a time in every service for a little controlled chaos, then great things could happen.
Whether it be a group activity, silly game, gross contest, controlled chaos is something to get teens up and having fun. It helps create an atmosphere for good things to happen.

In the movie "The Dark Knight" there is a scene where "The Joker" is having some one-on-one time with Harvey Dent in the hospital. He makes a statement, "Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos...I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and you know the thing about chaos...it's fair."
A little over the top? Yes! However, there is a lot of truth (I believe) to it.

Think about this.
When it comes to the most meaningful relationships in your life; spouse, family, friends, God-- would you say that you have a real in depth relationship with them or are they more on the surface? The truth be told, it's easy for the best relationships we have to quickly fall into a pseudo style relationship.

So how do we keep those relationships real, instead of slipping into surface acquaintances?
Introduce a little chaos.

Bill Hybles calls it, "The Tunnel of Chaos" and Mike Yaconelli gives detail in his book "Messy Spiritually" that if you want to really grow then you've got to go through this stage in your relationships.
A level of chaos has to be introduced! You've got to come to a place where you can look at each other and say, "if we're going to move from a pseudo relationship to a real in depth meaningful relationship then we've got to allow each others messiness to get on us."

Real openness.
Real transparency.
Real arguments.
Real love.
Real forgiveness.
Real accountability.

Upset the established order to your surface relationships, introduce a little controlled chaos and watch great things happen.

God is in the Whirlwind

2009-05-20T22:07:00.005-05:00

Well, it's been a while since my last "real" post.
The last few weeks have been a whirlwind; with me traveling and ministering, as well as, moving.

Tuesday I went to go pick up the 16' truck that I reserved for moving.
When I got there they informed me that they don't have a 16' and will have to wait till the afternoon to get one. I explained that simply won't work and long story short, they hooked me up with a 22' truck for $100 less than what I originally was going to pay for the 16" truck!
God is Good!

Before getting home on Monday I spent the weekend ministering at The River Church in Nortonville Kentucky. I so enjoyed getting to know more members of the body of Christ and we had an excellent time together.

By the end of Sunday I will have logged two days worth of driving in the last five days!
Tuesday: Load truck and drive to Arkansas, then unload.
Wednesday: Drive to Alabama and load truck.
Thursday: Drive to Arkansas and unload.
Friday: Drive to Alabama and load truck again.
Saturday: Drive to Arkansas and unload.
Sunday: Drive back to Alabama and return truck to rental store.
Whew!!!!
Yep, crazy.

Then I'm taking the family to Gulf Shores for some rest and relaxation before we sign papers on June 1st and head to Arkansas for the next leg of the journey.
I'm gonna stay behind a few days and tie up some loose ends and then I have the honor of speaking at Elevate Youth at First Assembly on Wednesday, June 3rd.

Well that's a peek into my life for the next few weeks, I hope to keep in better touch through the wonderful media of Facebook.
Blessings!!

Again and Again

2009-05-16T07:44:00.004-05:00

Well, it's that time again. I made a couple of quick videos for the Lowe's Spring Dream Challenge contest on youtube.
Turns out both my entrees made the finals!!!!

So if you're able to stop by youtube and click the "thumbs up" icon for these two videos it would greatly be appreciated.

Vince's Outdoor Maintenance Made Easy
&
Vince's Outdoor Play Area

Simply click on the vote tab on this page http://www.youtube.com/lowes

(I just checked to see if these links worked, and it looks like the Lowe's page is doing some updating-- the tab says "gallery" but will say "vote" when they get it fixed....sorry, keep checking)

You can vote everyday for the next week and your help is needed now more than ever. In the video about our "dream yard" well............we just sold that house!!!! And the house we're moving to, well it's going to need some major help, so the prize package is perfect for that, and the play area.....sure would be great for the kids (with no trees and me not wanting to get pets) this would be the perfect fix.

Thanks for allowing me to post this shameless plug. ;)

Wet Fleece

2009-05-07T22:18:00.003-05:00

We listed our house last fall, "For Sale By Owner", it stayed for sale for over four months.
Thinking the time must not be right, we took it off the market.
Well, time passed and we decided to list it again, this time with a realtor.
We put it up at the beginning of March.
The last week of April my wife and I attended the annual Worldwide Missionary Evangelism (WME) conference at our home church in Arkansas.

During the last night of the conference, Larry Jones, spoke a simple and practical message.
At the alter I prayed and simply said to God, "I'm finally at peace doing what I feel you directing me to do, but I sure could use some wet fleece here."---That was on Friday night.

Monday morning our realtor called to tell us the house had sold!
That afternoon we went looking for a place to rent. We looked at a house that a friend had open; it was nice and the offer was very gracious but we wanted to explore all of our options so we called, Pat Saterfield, our realtor who sold our house in Arkansas three years ago.
She informed us that she didn't deal with rentals but she had a client who needed to move his house and would possibly be open to a lease to own plan.
After seeing the house, it was perfect for our needs. We made some phone calls back and forth to the owner and long story short, we sign next week for the price we needed. He's taking a loss on it, but told us he'd rather take a small loss each month rather than a huge loss with it sitting there empty.

Where to go, check.
What to do, check.
Time frame that only God could set up, check.
The fleece, wet.

It would appear that God still answers prayers.

Concerning Starting Over Post

2009-05-06T21:15:00.004-05:00

I figured the best way to respond to every one's comments was to post this.....

Thank you all. It has been a good day. Your words of encouragement and understanding have been very helpful in easing the emotions for this new endeavor.
I believe that having faith in God to take the next step does not mean an absence of fear, faith is still trusting God to work in you even when the peace has not caught up with your steps of obedience.
I will defiantly continue to blog about these new steps and would greatly appreciate any referrals, to ministers you know, about speaking at churches or whatever. This will be our main source of income for the upcoming year while the new work is birthed.

I'll start VERY soon on giving you an update about what's going on.
There is already some good things starting to develop.

Blessings,
Vince

farrelldesign@yahoo.com

Starting Over

2009-05-06T07:19:00.005-05:00

Man! What a rough night!

For those of you who know me, you know I'm a night owl and going to bed at 2:00am and up at 10:00am is the norm, not a good one I might add.
But last night I went down at 10:00pm and was up at 6:00am with what seemed like hourly awakenings.

I wish I could say it was because of excitement but honestly I'm think it's more out of a new realization. I'm starting over.

I meet yesterday with 20 plus other men and women my age who are exploring God's call for church planting. I introduced myself and gave my story. Afterwards I sat there thinking and listening to see if anyone else had a story was like mine.
It didn't appear so.
It was only afterwards that one of the men there (one of 3 over the age of 50) came up to me and said, "It's a sad thing that it's the church that chews people up and spits them out."
He said it like it was the norm.
That's the sad thing.

I think last night is when it really hit me. Starting over.

As a 18 year old working at Taco Bell, renting my first apartment and buying my own car...there was a feeling of excitement and new adventure.
Somehow, that same excitement is snuffed out as the overwhelming feeling is brought to realization that this time I'm starting over with a wife and two young ones.

The clock has begun.
Thirty days to move locations, find a job, find a church, find a place to live.

I'm ready for the excitement and adventure feeling to hit me.
I hope it comes soon.
Sleepless nights are not my thing.

The Power of One

2009-04-28T00:33:00.004-05:00

When I was in the ninth grade, I heard a message called "The Power of One."
It focused on the contrast between two men. Adam and Jesus; found in Romans 5:12-17
The phrase "by one man" has stuck with me to this day.

By one man, sin entered the world.
By one man, salvation has come.
The power of one.

I had a most wonderful experience brought to me through the use of Facebook.
A young lady who was a year behind me in school took the time to find me on Facebook and send me a message. I'm deeply honored that she would do this, and I want to share it to encourage you in the same power that it encouraged me. The Power of One.

I have changed the name out of respect, it reads:
Hey, my name is Meg and we were at Southside together. You are a year above my graduating year...anyway. I just wanted to let you know that you made a huge impact in my life your Sr year. I accepted Christ at a See You At The Pole meeting that you were leading. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for being so on fire for God back then. I have now been faithfully serving God for about 14 years. Thanks for making a difference in the lives of those around you. God Bless.

To those who wonder is it worth it, to those who can't see past today. For those of you that were in one of the two youth ministries I had the privilege of pastoring, to those who heard me say time and time again, "if you fall, get back up and dust the dirt off and keep going. It's true.

Don't give up.
See past today.
Display grace in your actions.
Don't hold grudges.
Forgive.
Reach out.
Don't gossip.
Help others.
Encourage those who need it.
Love without expecting anything in return.

The power of one.
By one man sin entered the world.
By one man salvation came.
What type of person will you be?

You be the type of person who makes a difference.
To make a difference, you have to do things differently. Christianity today needs to look different than it does right now. For me, I'm going to be known for "what things I'm for" rather than "what things I'm against."

The power of one.
Will you join me?

Inside Out

2009-04-27T01:16:00.004-05:00

The Church.
It meets every week in a building.
It's encouraged to happen outside a building every week.

A few weeks ago, on the side of the road was a car in need of some jumper cables. I paused for a moment thinking like we all do, “I’ll be late for my meeting.” I texted my contact and decided to be late for the meeting, moments later the car was back on its way.

The Church happens everywhere.

I had the wonderful opportunity to speak at a church about a month ago where I gave an invitation for people to follow Christ. In the altar were people whose lives were being changed and hearts connected with God.

The Church happens everywhere.

Lately, a fantastic young man has opened his life to me and we’ve been having some great heart to heart talks. The openness and transparency he has displayed to me is quite an honor. I’ve had the opportunity to speak into his life and share some Biblical insight and help connect the dots between everyday living and biblical application.

The Church happens everywhere.

After speaking at a youth gathering, a parent came up to me afterwards and shared some struggles she and her husband have been going through in this rough economic time. She has been wrestling with some profound issues. Being able to speak life and encouragement and pray with her was one of the highlights of the evening. I could see the peace of God come into her life and her situation.

The Church happens everywhere.

My wife and I lead a small group of believers that is composed of people from several churches. When a couple in the group showed up with an important need, the group answered the call. When almost half of our group was affected with job loss, we all chipped in to make car payments, buy groceries, and do whatever we could for each other. A loving, passionate, giving community of believers.

The Church happens everywhere.

A few days ago, I received an email from a Youth Pastor in Dallas. I've never met the man and honestly have no idea how he got my contact information. In the email his heart called out for guidiance and a deep desire to connect with someone who could help him fulfill the call that God has put in his life. He is one of several I've had the awesome privilege of connecting with and getting to step into a new type of relationship with fellow members of the body.

The Church happens everywhere.

In the everyday experiences of life, if you look for it, church happens everywhere.
Many times the issue is we only see church in one location: a building; the reality is Jesus spent more time outside of the building and more time building the Church.

I encourage you to live your life with soul saving love.
Outside of the building and in the place where opportunities are everywhere.

Mugged at Knife Point

2009-04-22T20:13:00.011-05:00

Ever notice when you buy a vehicle, you all of a sudden notice how many cars like yours are on the road?

You never notice them until you have one of your own.
All of a sudden they're everywhere.
The reality is, those cars were always on the road, the difference is YOU are now aware of them because YOU now have one.

I think the same applies to different areas of our lives.
Here lately it seems just about everyone I bump into has experienced great levels of pain or have been let down by people and organizations that were supposed to help and protect them.

Something my friend Steven and I share is a great love for music and the messages that come out of it. Several months ago when listening to one of my favorite songs the words jumped out and hit me like a ton of bricks. In the midst of singing them in my truck (by myself, because I'm not allowed to sing where people can hear me) I stopped and said, "Yes, that's true! Thank you God for allowing it to happen to me!!!"

They say, "I just wanna' get mugged at knife point, cut deep enough to wake me up, cause I know I don't want to die, sitting around watching my life pass me by....." Reliant K- This Weeks The Trend

I know what you're thinking....."that's sick!" I would think the same thing, too, if I hadn't gone through what I've gone through.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish the situation my family has gone through on anyone, nor what countless others have gone through.
Craig Groeschel calls it,"the private pain before public gain" stage.
But I will be the first to say that it's been the "mugged at knife point" situation where scriptures come alive and are proven true.

I truly thank God for allowing the mugging to happen to me.
It doesn't make it any more right.
It doesn't excuse people's actions.
It's just that I am no longer waiting for God's judgement on them.
I pray they are blessed in all they do and that God would withhold His wrath on them.
Why?
Because, I've woken up!
I realize I was dead in the place I was.
In the church where I was.
In the organization where I was.
In the accomplishments I had achieved.
While "doing ministry", while "doing church", while "doing stuff'" I was like so many countless others: watching life pass by.

But now I can see, hear, feel, taste and smell things that others can't because of what I've experienced. Bill Hybels calls it, "The Popeye Moment."
I can relate far better to those who are sick of church and Christians than I ever could before. The truth be told, in the past when I heard someone bad-mouth church or say the church is full of hypocrites, I'd simply write them off as someone who didn't "truly" know or had experienced a good church. Or I would argue with them that what they were saying was in their own mind and really had no clout.
Now, I'm more understanding, more compassionate. I listen more as my heart cries, like Popeye, "I've had all me can stands and me can't stands no more!"

See now I can honestly say, "I know what I'm called to do."
I'm more focused with more clarity and courage than I've had in the last eight years.

I encourage you, if you've been "cut" or "mugged" from the very ones who were supposed to put a robe on your back, a ring on your finger and sandals on your feet; first, allow God to do an amazing work in your life where you can honestly forgive them and release them (because honestly they don't even know what they've done to you...on some level they believe what they've done is 100% right, so there's no need harboring bitterness towards people who think they're right....trust me). Secondly, see it as an opportunity to start living in the fullness of what God created you for.

Yes, it's painful. It's not easy, but if it were easy then the world would be filled with better Christians instead of bitter ones.

So be different.

Be the type of Christian the world needs to know.

Hunting for Easter Answers

2009-04-13T00:12:00.003-05:00

We had a great Easter today with friends and family.

I'd like to ask some questions and hear your thoughts. Your participation is greatly appreciated.
If you would at the beginning of your comment put your "church" status.

Disconnected--(use to go, rarely attend anymore)
Casual--(attend less than 10 times a year)
Attender--(attend 2 or more times a month)
Worker--(part of the ministry)
Staff--(receive a paycheck from the church)

Before I dive in with the questions, please know that I am not being rude of facetious.
I'm a "Gen X'er" right down to my very last bone, which means I have a very low tolerance for bull. I like the facts and I like the truth.
I love to take those facts and truths and create structures and methods for making ministry, churches, people and programs shine.
Below, I'll right the question, then under it give you a few of my thoughts on what causes me to ask it to begin with.

Thanks ahead of time for your feedback.

Questions
1. Are "the lost" (or disconnected) attending church on the two big holidays like they used too? If not, why is that?
Easter is one of those holidays that is typically a time people "show up" for church. The church I attend did have an increase of attendance, but no where near what I thought.

2. Was your Easter service different in anyway from a normal service? Should it be? If so, why?
If people who do not attend church show up on Easter, why do they not return next week? What are we doing to scare them off? ( I know those are more questions, again just my thoughts)

3. If I was one of the "Easter Sunday Only" attenders, what was a weird factor for me?
I say weird, but maybe disconnect factor or Christian-eese thing.

4. If Pastor came up to me and said, "what in the service should we change?" What would you say and why?
I'd think every leader would want constructive feedback, but if this is too sensitive, email me directly at farrelldesign@yahoo.com

Last one
5. As a new person coming in the door, what was the biggest issue YOU think they had to overcome and why?
I have kids, so I think in terms of a young family who doesn't know child check in procedures, or where the nursery is or if there even IS a nursery. So, what do you see?

Again, if you feel like any of your comments need to be sent to me personally and not posted as a comment, feel free to email me.
And if you know of people who would be great to answer these questions, please pass it around! The more the better.

Blessings,
Vince

Legos, Connections and Friendships

2009-04-02T19:42:00.003-05:00

I've recently heard someone talk about how everyone is like a Lego.
We all have a limited number of connectors.
Connectors like on a Lego.
Introverts have a few.
Extroverts have up to dozens.

Either way, once they're full, they're full.

This makes sense to me, because I've often struggled to fully understand the lack of friendship from people who didn't really measure up to what I expected out of a friend; and more importantly I've struggled to BE that type of friend that I feel I SHOULD be.

See, I'm an extrovert, and I have so many relationships that I don't have many "connectors" left. In fact, I find myself having to take some friends off in order to make room (time) for others. I mean, let's be honest....do you talk to all 400 of your friends on Facebook at least once a week? I don't. In fact, I feel like I liar for even having that many "friends" that I don't even talk to once a year!!!! This is probably why "T-Mobile" and other cell companies give you a "Fave-5" plan......they know most of us only have room for about five real, meaningful, connecting relationships. Some a little more, some a little less.

I no longer feel guilty for "not being THAT friend" nor do I any longer think ill of those who aren't that type of friend to me.
Why?
Because "acts of friendship" is one thing, and "acts of connection" is another.

When we moved into our house, the first week was great. We received pies, cookies, smiles, handshakes all welcoming us into the neighborhood. So many "acts of friendships", but ask me if I'm connected with any of them......the answer is no.

This is why many people complain about church being "cliquish." The reality of it is, it's not a church full of cliques as much as it is a church full of people whose connectors are already full.
This has been most helpful for me to understand why I've lost so many relationships over the last year during our time of ministry transition. I used to think it's because that person wasn't a "real friend" but the truth is, people have to make room if their connectors are full due to schedules, locations, timing, influences, and new relationships; some must come off to make room for the new or the relationships that want to be meaningful.

Sure, it doesn't make it any easier to know you've been taken off the relationship connector with someone, but know it's part of the process. It doesn't mean those people are bad or shallow or don't live up to your expectations.....it simply means their connectors are full and someone has to be dropped to make room for someone they want to have a deeper relationship with.

Because like Legos, some are used to build huge buildings, some are used to build cars....and some just get lost.

(The Legos example came from the book: Sticky Church)

What I Would Ask

2009-03-26T21:05:00.007-05:00

I've had the opportunity to do a lot of traveling lately and speak to hundreds of pastors.
During this time several have asked my thought on countless issues.
Youth ministry.
Small groups.
Evangelism.
Church growth.
Leadership development.
Discipleship.

While I've done my best to reach down in my library of information and lean on past experience and wisdom that God has shown, I always ask them more questions than they ask me.

I personally believe that a majority of the issues in our ministries are a result of a simple issue.
Growing organizations naturally grow complex.

Small grows to big, therefore we need more staff, more structure, more programs, which in turn demand more time, more money, more energy, which leads to more building programs, needing more people and the process continues. All the while we're "doing" ministry but at the same time ministry is "doing" us in.

My wife's grandparents got married 64 years ago. One man, one woman. Today there are 7 children, 15 grandchildren, 29 great-grandchildren and 12 great, great-grandchildren.
It all started with two.

Here are some things I ask and would ask any person in ministry to consider when wanting answers to "grow a church", or "make disciples of Christ" or "fix" a ministry need.

1. What do you want people to become?
Sounds simple, but you'd be amazed how off many are. Or how many people are by default just doing things. It reminds me of the scene in "The Dark Knight" when Harvey Dent is in the hospital and The Joker is sitting next to him and Harvey lunges after him only to get frustrated and ask, "young man, what's your plan" The Joker responds, "do I look like the kind of guy that has a plan? I just do things."

2. What steps are in place to achieve the first question?
This is where I loose 90% of the people I talk to. Because aren't our programs enough to help people become followers of Christ? If so, would the divorce rate be as high as it is in the church? Teen dropout rate? Would we be begging people to work in ministry, tithe, drop habits, love others, come faithfully? Programs are fine, but sadly too many of our church programs foster basic level Christianity steps. What if we looked at many of the programs we do in our churches and replaced them with a series of steps to help people on their journey of faith.

3. What is a "win" for your organization?
Again, for those of us in leadership we may have a pretty good idea, but how about the rest of the team? This is where I ask them to "clarify the win." Because the more general the win is, the less likely it's a "win." It's more like a "rally cry." Rally cries are short term achievable goals. Example: when someone says their "win" is to lead people to Christ, I then ask, " what next?" Because if that was a win, we'd only ever need two ministers in our churches. One to pray with people for salvation, the other to hit them over the head to send them to Heaven.
The more specific the better. This is why so many churches have the goal, "to make fully devoted followers of Christ" or "to lead people in a growing relationship with Jesus." Those type of wins are to the point, and are put in simple terms that define the goal.

4. What is your biggest priority, and what do you need to accomplish to achieve it?
I'll be honest here. Churches with tons of "ministries" scare me. Don't get me wrong, it's an honorable thing to be so aspiring. But I know something many of the leaders don't. Churches that have more ministries than staff are filled with people who are tired, on the verge of burn out and foster an atmosphere of mediocrity. Ouch! I'm sorry if I stepped on toes there.
But listen. Things naturally grow complex! And the more you do, it means the less quality every other thing becomes. Everything has a life cycle. So much energy is spent keeping things on life support. Find three of four ministries to excel in and say "no" to the rest. Because every time you add something to the plate without taking something off, it all starts to taste the same.
Mush.

5. If you were to leave, or get fired, or whatever, what things would the next guy change that you won't because you feel like you can't.
Personal example time. At the last placed I served on staff, myself and the jr. high staff pastor worked for months preparing for a change we felt like we needed to do to grow. We spoke with the leadership, elders, all who were in charge and shared our game plan and reasons and we even begged. We heard tons of reasons why we could not or should not. None based out of biblical reasoning--if you know what I mean.
We are no longer there. Guess what the new guy did? Yep! The very thing we begged to do for months.
When God gives you a plan, do it. Sure, you have to have the right timing. But more importantly you have to decide who you want to keep. I'm not talking about plowing over people, I'm talking about doing what needs to be done to achieve the goal. I love the saying, "there's something wrong when you have to part the whiskers to give the baby a bottle." Leadership takes courage to do the things that need to be done. If you won't, the next guy will.

I'm amazed in just the 20 years that I've been involved in church and ministry how much society has changed and how little the church has as a whole has.
I think many of us would do well to get back to some simple practices of faith.
But here's the catch. Once you are able to answer these questions and honestly start putting them in practice----you'll work harder at keeping it simple than you would if you had forty ministries to oversee.
Why? Because things naturally grow complex, so you have to work hard to keep it simple and keep it focused.

Sticky Church Quotes

2009-03-20T17:41:00.005-05:00

For those of you who have read, "Simple Church" may I recommend another great book; "Sticky Church" by Larry Osborne. It's a great read with some key principles on ways to keep people connected to the church.
Let's face it, there are plenty of ways to get people to come to church. Keeping them there is another matter. This book shares some important thoughts on how to close the back door.

When I read a book, I highlight in it and make notes off to the side in it, so if I ever want to freshen up on it I can go back and hit the highlighted parts. I talked to a friend of mine, Jon Morris, today who gave me a great idea.
He mentioned that after he finishes a book and highlights in it, that he then types a list of all the highlighted parts and keeps them on file for future use.

So in the spirit of taking some good advice, here are just a few quotes from the book that I thought I'd share with you. Again, I highly recommend the book.

"We've often become so focused on reaching people that we've forgotten the importance of keeping people."

"A great spiritual start is no guarantee of a happy ending."

Commenting on the parable Jesus told concerning the sower...."If the soil in any portion of the farmers field produced a killed off before harvest outcome, he'd never plant there again. A crop that didn't last all the way to harvest was a financial disaster."

"If left alone, the back door never closes itself. We have to intentionally slam it shut."

"Imagine two churches that both run 250 in attendance and in ten years they both grew to 500.....Church "A" is the typical revolving door church in that it looses 7 people for every 10 it gains. Church "B" is a sticky church and looses 3 people for every 10 it gains. On the surface both churches grew to the 500 mark. But the revolving door church had to reach 834 new people to get there. The sticky church had to reach 357.....what's even more interesting is that Church "A" now has 584 formal attenders that are in the community who say, "I used to go to that church."

"The people who come through the front door of a church through word-of-mouth referrals have a fundamentally different experience than do those who come as the result of a marketing campaign."

"Basic laws of retention: Whatever you do to reach people, you have to continue to do to keep them."

"Many times in our special programs to reach the lost, we advertise weeks in advance; and don't realize how well we've trained our congregation to hold back their invitations until the next big event."

"As long as the front door remains bigger than the back door, any church will appear to be growing."

"Most of our discipleship programs are very linear. Unfortunately, most spiritual growth is not."

"Empowerment without a platform is like responsibility without authority."

"In the church, we don't want to hang out our dirty linen in public. A non-christian might hear and be turned off---or a gossip might hear and be turned on."

"It's a well known fact that young adults tend to mimic the behavior patterns of their parents once they start to have their own families. It's amazing to see how much like their parents most kids in my youth group eventually became. Once they hit adulthood, our influence waned and their parents' influence held sway. They parented like they were parented, did marriage like their parents, and even did adult Christianity like it was modeled by most of the adults around them."

To follow the above......."we decided not to have special small groups for youth and children, instead we asked them to join in the adults small group....our young adults dropout rate is a fraction of what it used to be in the past, it's because we've focused on giving our children and youth the powerful gift of a growing mom and dad."

"The most obvious sign of greater attentiveness was the marked increase in note taking."

Those are a few of my highlighted notes from just the first 5 chapters. Hopefully I've put enough down to wet your appetite to go out and get the book for yourself.

Happy Reading!

Just Some Things Worth Repeating

2009-03-01T16:00:00.006-06:00

Below are some pretty good one-liners.
Some of them have been told to me recently.
Some I've carried with me for a long time.
Some I've read and they've caught my attention.
Enjoy.

"The conversion of a soul is the miracle of a moment, the manufacture of a saint is the task of a lifetime."---Alan Redpath

"All those years, when you worked on a Church staff, God paid you while He was developing your character. Now you've got so much character, He doesn't have to pay you anything."--- Donald Sims

"The most important things in life are not things.--- Dale Yerton

"A true friend stabs you in the chest."--- Oscar Wilde

"If your output is more than your income then your upkeep will be your downfall."--- Kemp Holden

"Anyone who must have superficial sounds to survive lacks depth."---Charles Swindoll

"Integrity is more than "not doing things." It's revealing to people things before you do them."--- Dale Yerton

"Talent will get you where you're going, character will keep you there."---Jentezen Franklin

"There is a difference between success and significance. You first must know which one you want to become."---Rick Clendenen

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results."---Original author unknown

There are tons more I could write down, but honestly I've been sort of disappointed that my last few blogs have been so long. I like to keep things short and to the point. I zone out on most blogs that are over 3 to 4 paragraphs, so needless to say my last few post haven't even kept my attention. HA!!

If you have some "words of wisdom" that you've heard or read, please feel free to leave them in a comment, I'd love to hear them.

My Personal Cherith

2009-02-24T20:11:00.005-06:00

1 Kings 17:2-5 Then the word of the LORD came to him, saying, “Get away from here and turn eastward, and hide by the Brook Cherith, which flows into the Jordan. And it will be that you shall drink from the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to feed you there.” So he went and did according to the word of the LORD, for he went and stayed by the Brook Cherith, which flows into the Jordan.

God's plan is always full of surprise and mystery. Here is the beginning of Elijah's boot camp experience.
Here are some lessons I've learned over the last year from my personal Cherith. Some of these life lessons I've known for a long time and have been able to use in this time, others have been things I've known but only now truly value.

Accountability is King
Accountability is like a two-sided coin. Many of us only "cash in" on the one side of it. It's the "when you ask me, I'll tell" side. This is helpful and useful, but the other side of the "coin" is the "I'll tell you before you even ask." Offering necessary information before it's required is the side of accountability that brings healing and protection.

It's Hard to Finish Strong
We have so few examples of this in the Bible and it seems even fewer in today's culture. It's hard to finish strong, period. Surrounding yourself with people who will speak the truth in love is key to helping. Beware of keeping nothing but "yes men" around you. Oscar Wilde said it best, "true friends stab you in the chest."

There are Friends and then there are Real Friends
I didn't ever really get this. To me a friend was someone who met the biblical definition found in Proverbs 18:24. Some translations say "real" friend and others just say "a friend that sticks closer than a brother." Regardless, it's important to know who in your life can be that. I've learned that to expect real friendships from people who are incapable of delivering that type of relationship only leads to heartache. But understanding that some people simply can only live at a lower level of friendship allows there to be less offense. Knowing this helps keep proper perspective. It's not that people who can't deliver "real" friendship are bad or evil, they are just living at the level they understand friendship to be.

Extreme Situations Bring Out What Has Always Been in the Heart
The Bible tells us to "guard our heart" but we have been taught since we were young about behavior modification. There's a huge difference. I counseled a young lady that was upset and confessing how she couldn't understand why she "flipped off" a driver for cutting her off. She loves Jesus. She's a worshipper. She tithes. She prays regularly. So why the sudden outbreak of the one finger wave?
When I was young, my mom heard me say some things I shouldn't have said. Her response, "Vincent! I'm gonna wash your mouth out with soap!" I learned that day--some words can only be said in the locker room and not around mom--Behavior Modification.
People can say they love, offer forgiveness, believe in restoration, serve others. But you truly don't know until things don't go the way they should. When a crisis happens, that's the time to see what's truly in people's hearts. Pay attention! Because this shows what's truly in your heart.

God Provides
No, really. He does. The ravens have brought us bread everyday. Jesus said, "when you pray--pray, give us this day our daily bread." I was always so proud of my management abilities. No credit card debt, two paid-off vehicles, no debt whatsoever except for a house payment. Yet in the eight months of being without a job I have been so disgusted with knowing what my former salary was and realizing how much I was truly wasting.
I've always known that people who complain about not making enough and are always behind was never an issue of "not making enough". It's about "not managing properly." When your output is more than your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall.
As we all forge through this recession, know this: you can live on a lot less and God always provides.

The High and Mighty Assassin is Very Sneaky
Pride. I didn't even know I was full of the stuff. It's amazing how fine the line is between being confident in what God has gifted you in and being confident in your gifts. Having a real friend who will stab you in the chest is very helpful against this "assassin of character."

Everybody Hurts
Hurt people, hurt people. It's easy to focus on the hurt that people inflict without seeing what caused the person to hurt. This is best illustrated in "The Tale of Despereaux" ---Then something strange happens: The sun disappears from Dor. Clouds cover the land, but the rain refuses to fall. Gloom descends. By way of explanation, the narrator states that the rats' presence was a very natural thing, and that when something as unnatural as their banishment occurs, everyone hurts. The king hurts Roscuro. The rat hurts the princess after she hurts him. The princess hurts Mig by inadvertently belittling her. And Mig hurts the princess in retaliation.
When dealing with those who are hurting others or even yourself the realization of needing to extend grace in the face of misunderstanding will help the healing process.
Fear is a very strong emotion, but forgiveness is stronger.

The Base Level

2009-02-20T21:25:00.002-06:00

I was asked to post this after preaching it to a church. I usually preach this every February.

Honestly, I was kinda worried that I might not get to share it this year; however it has turn out that I've had the opportunity to share this message to three different churches in three different settings.
Youth.
Adults.
Pastors.

So, it's still the month of love and here are some thoughts to encourage the ladies what to look for in a guy before dating him or getting married---for us guys, what to become before saying I do to any of those two offers.

Keep in mind ladies that there is a difference between a guy who is not quite here but is trying to get there and a guy who has no desire to be this type of man.

Guys, I hope that you would see these character traits and ask God to give you the grace to want to be a better man tomorrow than today. I don't think any of us are there yet, but the point is to want to get there.

I'll write this in the context to the ladies, but guys take note.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her...

1. Leads in Love
Does he know what love is? Do you? This scripture says that the man is to love his wife just like Christ loved the church. What is Love? Simply, an act of the will that is accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of it's object.
Christ said, "Father not my will but your will be done." He sweat drops of blood in His prayer. He died for our sins. For our benefit.
Love is to make a choice to live for someone else's benefit.
Men, are you leading in love?
Ladies, are you dating a guy who understands this?

Ephesians 5:26 ...that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,...

2. Leads in the Word
I see with women this digression process in dating. Ask any young Christian girl who she wants to marry and she'll say something to the effect, "I want a man of God who's a spiritual giant like a Billy Graham with the body of Vince Farrell." (ok, maybe not word for word) ask her when she's in her early twenties and it's "I want a good Godly man." If she's still single in her early thirties it's, "someone who knows where a church is at."
The question here is, "can he disciple you in the Word of God?" That's why if you're dating a guy who is not a believer, you are so off course on what the base level is!!! Listen ladies, when you date a guy who can not lead you in the ways of God; you are setting your family up for destruction! You are saying to this guy, "hey, I know you could care less about doing life the way God commands and I'd like you to raise my children one day the same way."
Ladies, if he's not that into Jesus...don't be that into him.
Guys, we want to be men who seek God and His ways for our life.

Ephesians 5:27 ...t He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish....

3. Leads in Purity
Deep down in the heart of every guy, on their wedding day, they want to see those doors open and their bride walking down in a white dress. Because that white dress means, "mine." Not Tom's, Bill's, Ed's, Paul's.....mine! No one else's. A guy who leads in purity is a man who is concerned about one day being able to present her to himself. See ladies if you understood that his is how a majority of men (at least the ones worth dating) think, then you'd understand what's really being said when he asks to give yourself to him sexually. What a guy is really saying when he asks you to "take the relationship to the next level" is, "hey I've got some urges and desires right now that I need you to fulfill, thus becoming the type of lady I really have no interest in marring."
Ladies, is he radically concerned about keeping you pure?
Men, if you pick her up for a date and she's looking all fine and your hormones start to kick in....ask her if you can bring her younger brother on the date with you two, or her dad......you go extreme to keep her pure.

Ephesians 5:28-29...So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church....

4. Leads in Selflessness

Do I have to explain this one? I'll be honest, many times us guys do things during the dating process to get the girl. Things we don't do for others that we all of the sudden do for her. Open the car door, bring flowers, buy gifts, give back massages, etc. This is the "wooing" of dating. It's the truth. If you don't believe me ask a guy when was the last time he did any of those things for his buddies? We woo, and woo, and woo and when we have you, we woe!

Ladies, understand the difference in a guy who is "wooing" you or who has your needs at the top of his list.

Guys, the rubber meets the road for us when we get married. As I mentioned, we tend to stop once the ring is on the finger. I challenge you to turn off the TV, cell phone, or PlayStation. Ask her how you can be less selfish. Start opening car doors again. If anyone in you house has to do without, who would it be?

Hope you enjoyed these thoughts from God's Word. I pray that you would look at these four characteristics and really make them the base level in what to look for in a guy.

As a guy, my prayer is "to do better today than I did yesterday and better tomorrow than today.

The Relationship Cycle

2009-02-13T14:31:00.005-06:00

I believe the Bible gives us a cycle, or process of stages, that every relationship goes through.
Every marriage.
Every friendship.
Every family.
Every church.
Every small group.
Every relationship.

In order to know where you are in the relationship you must first start by knowing where you are at. God asks in Genesis 3:8-9 "Where are you?" You are either, hiding or seeking. Adam in this scene is hiding, but he doesn't know that he's lost. Many relationships are set on "cruise control" thinking all is well and not even know they are getting lost; because if you aren't seeking, then you're hiding.

Before We Begin
There is a "cycle of death" that has begun in the garden. In fact, I thought about titling this post that, but that would not be fun to read, huh? So, let's look at the stages of this cycle and apply it to the subject of marriage; while at the same time keep in mind other relationships such as small group meetings or church or any other group.

Genesis 2:17 "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."

That word, surely, comes from the Hebrew and it means; in dieing you shall die. The best way I can describe what this means is to say, "go look at a picture of yourself 10 years ago." We are all dieing. Our eyes are failing us. Our hair is leaving us. Hearing, reflexes, muscle loss, etc. We are all dieing on the road to death. That's what the world was introduced to when man and woman ate from the tree.

Stage One
Revelation. At the beginning of every relationship there is a fresh "vision" of what could be. It's the open our eyes to the possibilities experience.
With Adam, when God pronounced a new future for him (in the sweat of your face you shall eat. Genesis 3:19) He then must prophecy a new relationship with his wife. He calls her "Eve" --the mother of all living. This had never happened before.

Stage Two
Inspiration. The fuel necessary to ignite the passion needed to overcome the inevitable problems. Now Adam had to transition from being a "gardener" to becoming a lover. This new passion made Adam forget what he had lost. Without passion, the fire of revelation is quickly extinguished. This loss of inspiration is where the relationship problems begin.
But first...

Question. Why did God force Adam and Eve out of the garden?
Because they had eaten of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil....(the cycle of death had started) and to ensure that they don't get caught in that never ending cycle, God says Adam must not take of the tree of life and eat, because he would then live forever, Genesis 3:22-23....forever in a state of death. That's not God's plan. His plan is for us to live with Him forever.
No death means immortality.
Immortality means we don't escape this cycle of death.
No escape means we never get the opportunity to live with God in Heaven.

Deep huh? Again, God does something that many times we think is for punishment but the reality of it is, it's because of His protection.

Stage Three
Formalization. The courage to act on the inspired revelation. This takes place with our commitment to sign on the dotted line. We're now willing to make the necessary sacrifices to see the vision fulfilled.
Genesis 4:1 "Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived and bore Cain."
Adam now has to transition from being a love to becoming a father. Another new role that had never taken place. This is where we'd say "the rubber meets the road" of relationships and originations. It's one thing to talk about doing something because of revelation, it's another thing to do it. This is one reason I tell young ladies who are in a dating relationship, "you don't owe him one thing; not sex, not holding hands, not kissing, nothing! Cause there's no ring on your finger."
And all the ladies, said......

Now remember all this is taking place in Adam and Eve's life under the promise that one day...."And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." Genesis 3:15
So in there mind, this boy is it. Cain! The boy called "spear" is going to fulfill God's prophecy. Adam must now transition from being a lover to being a father.

Stage Four
Institutionalization. Where the light of revelation slowly begins going out. We as men tend to be the most romantic when we are pursuing her. Then when we have her and children are here, we tend to woe. Or, how about this? Things are going good. We like how the small group or church is going, we want things to just keep going like they are.

Institutionalization is setting in and without fresh revelation accompanied by inspiration with formalization, then death is just around the corner.
Many people say that Cain and Able were twins because of the lack of a word in Genesis 4:2. And that is possible, but I want to share some possible new insight concerning this issue. In Genesis 4:1 it says, "Adam knew his wife Eve and she bore a son." That word "knew" is the most intimate word for a man and woman to experience together.
Listen.
There is a huge difference between "making love" and "having sex."
Without the revelation being fulfilled, and inspiration being fanned, Adam and Eve have found themselves in a relationship that has become nothing more than automation. They're going through the motions without new insight.
Eve names her next son, Able, meaning "vanity!" Can you hear her voice? The actual Hebrew means, "a sigh."
How sad.

Too many marriages "die"by divorce during the "empty nest" stage because after the kids are grown there is no new revelation! They've spent the last 2o years of their life together in the institutionalization mode and now they look at each other one day and say, "death to this."
In the same way, groups, churches, friendships that don't get new purpose beyond what they started out as, end up dieing a slow death.

Stage Five
Crystallization. Where the truth becomes locked in time. The cycle of death which Adam loosed in the garden was now working in his family. “Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.” Genesis 4:8
Now in Genesis 4:3 is says, "in the process of time..." That word process in the Hebrew means, "at the end of days." In other words, at the end of this relationship cycle...is death. All things die. What was once full of promise has become a cold corpse. I believe this death of a son and loss of the other brings Adam and Eve back to the beginning. What is needed now more than ever is fresh revelation--and it happens. “And Adam knew his wife again.” Genesis 4:25
This time they name him, Seth. "And as for Seth, to him also a son was born." Genesis 4:26
This is another first in history; because now Adam transitions from being a father to being a grandfather.
New revelation! This is what God was getting at in the beginning of the garden.
Now we understand this because we've had thousand of years to figure out that the seed of Jesus came from the bloodline of Seth who came from Adam and Eve.
But they didn't have this. They had to go through it the hard way.
They had to learn to see past the now, and into the future.

What would life look like if we had entered every relationship with God's long term vision for it?

We'd say things like, "I want to marry you and have kids that have kids that have kids who love God and follow Him all the day's of their lives."
Instead of, "let's move in together and see how this works out."

We'd say, "I attend this church to play a role in reaching the hundreds and thousands of people who need God."
Instead of saying, "this is my church, why change anything?"

We'd say, "I bring people to this small group to grow and multiply the Kingdom of God."
Instead of saying, "if it gets bigger then we'll loose what we have."

We'd say things like, "I want friendships that will grow stronger through change."
Instead of, "I may lose that friendship if things start to change."

I pray that if any of your relationships are on their way to dieing, that God would give you fresh revelation, new passion and a deep commitment to know what to do with it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

What Is Love?

2009-02-11T11:13:00.003-06:00

Did you do it?
You did, didn't you?
I know you did.

When you read this title, you started singing, "what is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more" with your head tilted to the side doing a little head action.

OR

If you're super spiritual, you simply answered the question by quoting, 1 Corinthians 13:4, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."

Regardless of what you were thinking, let me share some thoughts on the subject of love for this Valentine's Day.

2 Stories

In a newspaper headline it read, "Woman Kills Her Husband." It showed a picture of a woman holding her dead husband in her lap with blood everywhere and a gun to the side of the body. In the article it read, "when the police entered the house, the wife was screaming "but I loved him, I loved him!"

I've had that type of love.

In the movie, The Duchess, after being cheated on countless times and threatened by her husband, the Duke, that if she does not come home she will never see her children again; the Duchess cries out, "what's wrong with me? Why do you not love me?" The Duke replies, "I do love you." She responds, "how do you love me?" The Duke replies, "I have loved you the best that I understand what love is."

I've had that type of love too.

So, what is love? I believe we have to run everything through what Christ did. In other words, we look at the life of Jesus and get our answers to the questions we have.

Look what Christ did for us.

Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object.

Christ struggled with going to the cross. He said, "Father, not my will but your will be done." Jesus made a choice.
Did he have emotion? You bet. In fact, the Bible says he sweat drops of blood. That's some intense emotion!
Emotions are great, but too many times we put our emotions before the choice. It's like putting the cart before the horse. It's why so many marriages end in divorce. The "feelings" are gone, and so goes the marriage.
Jesus went to the cross. An act of the will that leads to physical action. Many people say "I love you" but there is no action that backs it up. Or like in the two stories mentioned before, the action is anything but "lovely."
Action on behalf of its object??? Christ went to the cross (that's the action) for us (we're the object of God's love) We are the ones who benefit from Christ going to the cross. We are reconciled to God because of it.

Do you choose to live a life of passionately giving of yourself to benefit someone else?
Not what you can get out of it,
not in how it makes you look good,
not to protect yourself,
but openly exposed to the possibility of real love.
It's harder than it sounds. It will cost you everything.
But I can't imagine loving any other way!

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. John 15:13

Happy Valentine's Day!

Sailing Again

2009-02-05T13:40:00.005-06:00

I know the title of this sounds funny (especially since I've been flying to Peru and back this last week) but I'd like to share some thoughts from the life of the Apostle Paul.
Paul was amazing leader. As a leader, he is one of my heroes. This story concerns the time when he was shipwrecked. These principals have encouraged me during a time of disaster and I pray these key insights will help you "sail again" if and when you experience a shipwreck.

At one time or another, we all experience a shipwreck in life.
Sometimes more than one.

Acts 28:1-3
Now when they had escaped, they then found out that the island was called Malta. 2 And the natives showed us unusual kindness; for they kindled a fire and made us all welcome, because of the rain that was falling and because of the cold.But when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks and laid them on the fire, a viper came out because of the heat, and fastened on his hand.

1. Build a Fire
" Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks and laid them on the fire..."
We see the first thing Paul does is contribute to the needs of others. The natives show them kindness, and Paul jumps in to help. He goes and gathers a bundle of sticks. Experiencing a shipwreck isn’t the end. Get up and start doing something to bless someone.

2. Watch Out for Snakes
"a viper came out because of the heat..."
The devil is an opportunist and attacks those doing the most for good. As I read this I started really focusing on that word "bundle." In other words, Paul takes both arms and finds a bundle of sticks and picks them up altogether. This is quite a bit different from the way most people gather sticks. They pick them up one by one.

A lot of leaders minister that same way, just a little at a time when it's convenient. We need to be people who contribute to the needs of others with arms opened wide gathering as much as we can for those who need to be warmed.

Acts 28: 5-6
But he shook off the creature into the fire and suffered no harm. However, they were expecting that he would swell up or suddenly fall down dead. But after they had looked for a long time and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds and said that he was a god.

3. Shake Off the Snake
"But he shook off the creature" Good leaders don’t focus on their own pain. Keep building the fire. This is so hard to do, I know. I have failed in this area. It proves I'm not a perfect leader! But I'll be ready for the next time.

4. Don't Swell Up
"they expected that he would swell up..." Don’t allow the serpent’s poison to enter your heart. We must guard our heart in times of hardship and "wreckage" and not allow the root of bitterness to set in.

5. Don’t Follow Public Opinion
"they changes their minds..." They always do. Good leaders know public opinion is fickle. Even the best of crowds cheering for you, can and will turn their backs on you. Pay no attention to the critics or cheerleaders. Good leaders make decisions because what God is directing and not man.

Acts 28:7-8 There was an estate nearby that belonged to Publius, the chief official of the island. He welcomed us to his home and for three days entertained us hospitably. 8His father was sick in bed, suffering from fever and dysentery. Paul went in to see him and, after prayer, placed his hands on him and healed him.

6. Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing
"he laid his hands on him and healed him” Good leaders always look for opportunities. Remember the purpose of the shipwreck to begin with is to get you to stop doing what you were doing. Paul turned his shipwreck into a healing revival. You grow spiritually to the extent you are willing to give yourself away.

7. Start Sailing Again
"after three months we sailed” Acts 28:11 Take the time needed to recover; and while you do, build a fire for others. Get started and God will send new people to help you. “When the brethren heard about us, they came to meet us” Acts 28:15 When Paul saw them he thanked God and was encouraged!

I want to share with you something. Today marks, to the date, when a shipwreck in my life started. The last 8 months of it I have been unemployed. At the very beginning of this tragedy I know I heard God say, "give what you have away." Believe me, I argued with God about that for awhile. Today I landed back from a 4 day conference in Peru teaching pastors. I didn't receive anything for it. And that's okay. I have reached a point in my life where I totally trust in God to provide. As He's provided, I've been building a fire for others. My ministry is not going to be determined by what the shipwreck was, it's going to be determined by the fires that are built for others; that's something we should all be doing reguardless of experienceing a shipwreck or not.
I pray you do the same.
God bless and smooth sailing!