Small Groups--Part 1

I love talking, attending, creating, teaching, starting small groups.  Below are some thoughts that I've picked up from those doing successful small group ministry and thoughts I've developed over the years in leading various small groups in multiple locations.
I pray these will be some helpful ideas as you gear up, start up or vamp up your small group ministry.

1.)  Decide what type of small group church you are.
There are basically three types of churches with small groups:  A church "with" small groups, a church "of" small groups and the church "is" small groups.
Let me interject that none of these are a "right" or "wrong" way to do small groups, however knowing what type of small group church you are will decide the amount of involvement you are able to sustain. 


2.) Clarify what is a "win" for your small group.
Many times you will hear this in the vision statement of the small group or even the mission statement of the church. If not there then you'll probably hear it whenever the pastor is promoting small groups in the church.  My point is if you don't spend time every Sunday morning and in every small group gathering reminding or "clarifying" what a win is for at least five years for your small group ministry, then frustration will follow.
I'll give you the most common that I know of with two different churches experiencing right now.
One churches small group leader, who is also an Elder in the church, is leading a small group of 25-30  (which is not a small group) and is having trouble getting anyone to break away to create two groups from that one.  Everyone loves their group, everyone enjoys the fellowship and atmosphere.  Hey, that's good! Nothing wrong, other than the fact the group has a bottle neck and is not producing anymore small groups.
Another church is dealing with the same issue, in fact they are desperately trying to train new leaders in hopes of being able to take a few out of each group to relieve groups that more than 20 in them.
So what's the problem?
Many times no one knows what a win is or they have the wrong win in mind.
For example, when I ask "what are the goals for your small group?"  I'll get answers like, "to disciple, fellowship, accountability, assimilate into the church, prayer, bible study, etc."  Those are all great answers but many times we only think about the goals and we never set a win.  Can I be so honest to say, that the above list of things in a small group, at least healthy ones, are doing those already!  You typically don't have to remind people to fellowship at a home fellowship.  Or really pray during prayer time.  My point is, where do we go?  What's the end result?  If having large small groups is the goal, then the above examples are not really issues.  If it's developing more small groups, then there seems to be a "connect the dot to the win" problem.

I know what you're thinking, "but our people don't want to divide" or "why ask them to break up the very much needed fellowship we've asked them to join?"
Those are understandable examples but not the standard.  From day one of starting a small group ministry in your church if you promoted, "Our goal as a small group is to make more small groups" then it defines what a win is.  When a group multiplies into two, then people have a reason to celebrate.  It's not a "have to" issue it's a want to step.  But if it's not clarified in the small group it will create confusion and even frustration with the attenders because when you start breaking groups up, they will react.

3) Determine group size before it becomes a size issue.
If you clarify the win then knowing a group size becomes easy to determine.
Let me say this regarding the above; notice I never said, "when it comes time to divide a small group..."  Lingo is very important, it's why I speak "multiply."  It fits with a grow more groups vision.  Personally I've found that once a small group reaches around 3-4 couples it's time to start thinking and training another leader.  It's key that when more members start joining the group that they connect with the leaders in training and not the current small group leaders.  When group and when the group reaches 8-9 couples, time to launch that new group and celebrate the win.
It's a rule, the bigger the group the fewer people talk.  I was in a small group where there were about 8 people in the group and almost everyone spoke up and contributed in the discussion topic.  I was in another small group where there was 25 or more and only about 5 people engaged.
That group of 25 can easily become two groups of 12 and no one would be upset due to being "torn away from relationships" because not everyone knows everyone on that deep of a level.  Now for both of those groups to grow and then become 4 groups of 8, will take some work.  But can be done with a clear focus of what type of church they are and what a win is.

More later.
Blessings!!!

Roller Coaster of Love

This has been somewhat a roller coaster week.

Here in a few days I fly out to Peru. I have the awesome opportunity to speak in a church of 6000 this upcoming Sunday morning, then the following three days speak to over 300 Pastors on the subject leadership.

While the excitement has been so joyful, I've also heard news that has made my spirit sad.

A few days ago, I sent a letter to a person to try to ease any ill feelings they might have towards me because of a misunderstanding; only to be mocked and to be made out as the "enemy."

I say sad, not because of this persons attitude directed towards me, but because of the "law of spiritual math." See, when anyone is given only partial information or half-truths or even incorrect information altogether, it causes them not to be able to accurately reach desired goals. I say this from personal experience. For example, I came into a situation where I was told "A" --so my plan was to do "B"-- and when I didn't get "C" --it caused great confusion. Unless, this person gets a real understanding of the history where their at, for at least the last 5-10 years, then.....well, like I said, it's sad.
History plays a huge part in ministry, not that it has to ultimately decide your destiny, but it definitely helps you know the future and understand future issues that you may face. I hope this person(s) don't find themselves down the same path in a few years because of bad spiritual math. If so, I pray they will be shown more grace and love than what they are giving.

Here are things that I have learned from God's Word that I want to encourage you with if you are in a situation like this or one day find yourself in a similar predicament.

1. You never have to defend the truth. It may take a while for it to come out. (it took Joseph 21 years before his situation was rectified) This is hard, especially when ever fiber of your being wants to set the record straight, but don't.
2. The moment you try explaining yourself to your accusers, you've made them your judge. When someone starts saying things about you (which they believe are true) and you try to correct them, what you've done is submitted yourself for their approval. God's the judge, not them.
3. Submission to authority is about position not person. This has been the hardest thing to do in my life. Submitting to leadership that you don't agree with is hard; but you can't honestly say you're a person who submits to authority until there is disagreement.
"It is far better to submit to leadership that is corrupt or bad and suffer lies about you and mistreatment, than to rebel against that leadership and suffer judgement from God."--Vince Farrell
4. Wounds bleed blood, scars bleed wisdom. Throughout this recent situation an accountability partner of mine commented on how well I was taking it and was surprised at the amount of love and compassion I showed towards this other person as I relayed the events to them. I explained to them that my wounds are starting to heal up. It's true. The bleeding has stopped, I've moved on and even though I have some scars from it, the scars are a symbol of wisdom learned in this season.

Lessons learned open up new doors.
A door that I'm so excited and humbled to walk through this week in Peru.

Do not owe people anything, except always owe love to each other, because the person who loves others has obeyed all the law.
Romans 13:8