"Integrity has high influence value."
We must be aggressive in making sure our integrity stays at a high level. I love how my father-n-law says it, "Integrity is the things I tell you before you find out the hard way." So true. Because of the age we live in we have the awesome ability to connect with people from all over the place.
The last couple of months I've been talking to a lot of friends long distances about some issues concerning where they live, and throughout the converstions it boils down to "lack of integrity."
Has nothing to do about salvation, perspectives, viewpoints, or even theology. That's important to recognize; because one can say all the right things but actions will always speak louder.
I believe it's easy to sit back and say, "well, I have integrity so this is pointless." True. We all have some level of integrity, the key is to look for way to grow it. Yep! Have more!
Too often we can appear to lose or even completely have lost our integrity. We see it in the news of people we once respected and now no longer do because of some action that violated our trust towards them.
That's why we must "tell before it comes out the hard way." It may be hard to do, but not near as hard as building from lost integrity. In these times, high integrity is attractive and worth following. I think of many of the men and women of God in my life that I have surrounded myself by and although we may not agree with methods, viewpoints or even theologies, I respect them in the highest regard because they live with the uttermost integrity.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
A Sleeping Policeman
Picture a guy driving in his car, the radio on and even possibly drinking a soda when all of the sudden, "wham!" The care bumps in the air, his head hits the ceiling, and some of his drink spills out. He immediately brings the car to a stop and gets out to discover he went over a speed bump.
He starts kicking it!
Can you imagine?
The man starts pointing his finger at it, yelling; "You dumb speed bump! Didn't you know I was driving just fine by myself?! Couldn't you see where I was going? You're trying to stop me from getting where I want to go! Oh, look at you just lying there, so smug, who gave you the right to be there?!"
I'm pretty sure if we saw that scene we'd probably be making a call to the "loony bin" for that guy.
No, we don't see that usually play out. In fact, most people see a speed bump in plenty of time to slow down and take it easy. No one want's to purposely cause damage to their vehicle or throw their tires out of balance or cause a mess inside their car; or worse yet cause some other accident to someone else.
These piles of concrete or asphalt, or "sleeping policemen" they call them in some countries are simply reminders to slow down a bit and use some caution before proceeding.
You know, just as the above situation sounds quite silly; as if it would ever happen, it goes to be said that it's a situation often seen in the area of personal lives.
Someone gives you advice or thoughts about a direction and out come excuses and even in some case backlash towards that person. Even in extreme cases there may be even accusations towards that person of being judgmental or "high and mighty."
Why?
I'm sure there are dozens of reasons. But possibly the most common is because you're not accountable.
There is a great difference between knowing what accountability is and being accountable.
I often explain that accountability is like a two sided coin; on one side it's the "You ask and I tell" aspect. And it works great. The other side is "I tell before you ask" and it works even better.
So how about it? Do you have some "sleeping policemen" in your life that are there to give you a little bump or nudge as you journey through life?
If not, I'd encourage you to find some that will speak into your life; no matter how uncomfortable they may be at times
Sleeping policemen may cause a little bump, but better is it to slow down and take a bump than speed through and cause a mess.
He starts kicking it!
Can you imagine?
The man starts pointing his finger at it, yelling; "You dumb speed bump! Didn't you know I was driving just fine by myself?! Couldn't you see where I was going? You're trying to stop me from getting where I want to go! Oh, look at you just lying there, so smug, who gave you the right to be there?!"
I'm pretty sure if we saw that scene we'd probably be making a call to the "loony bin" for that guy.
No, we don't see that usually play out. In fact, most people see a speed bump in plenty of time to slow down and take it easy. No one want's to purposely cause damage to their vehicle or throw their tires out of balance or cause a mess inside their car; or worse yet cause some other accident to someone else.
These piles of concrete or asphalt, or "sleeping policemen" they call them in some countries are simply reminders to slow down a bit and use some caution before proceeding.
You know, just as the above situation sounds quite silly; as if it would ever happen, it goes to be said that it's a situation often seen in the area of personal lives.
Someone gives you advice or thoughts about a direction and out come excuses and even in some case backlash towards that person. Even in extreme cases there may be even accusations towards that person of being judgmental or "high and mighty."
Why?
I'm sure there are dozens of reasons. But possibly the most common is because you're not accountable.
There is a great difference between knowing what accountability is and being accountable.
I often explain that accountability is like a two sided coin; on one side it's the "You ask and I tell" aspect. And it works great. The other side is "I tell before you ask" and it works even better.
So how about it? Do you have some "sleeping policemen" in your life that are there to give you a little bump or nudge as you journey through life?
If not, I'd encourage you to find some that will speak into your life; no matter how uncomfortable they may be at times
Sleeping policemen may cause a little bump, but better is it to slow down and take a bump than speed through and cause a mess.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Ask and you shall receive
Matthew 21:1-3 ...Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, "Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, tell him that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away."
At first glance this looks as if Jesus' lordship overrides the need to show respect by asking for the permission to use something.
But deeper study and looking into the actual verse revels to us that Jesus had a relationship with the owner of the donkey. Jesus gives great detail to what to look for and where to find it; he clearly had been there before.
I imagine there was a time when Jesus visited the man and during a conversation the man said something to the fact of, "Jesus, if ever I can do anything for you, let me know."
The time came for a need, and Jesus was able to call on this friend for that favor.
I remember long ago, my brother was just 4 or 5 years old I was just 10 or 11 and taking him to children's church. He saw the Children's Pastor and asked him for money for the soda machine. Right then and there! I stared to correct him and tell him how rude it was to ask such a thing. But before I could get the words out of my mouth the minister smiled and handed him 50 cents then patted me on the head and said, "you have not because you ask not."
I've carried that lesson with me for over 20 years.
My spiritual father told me once that humans, by nature, are not giving; giving comes the Holy Spirit probing us to do so. So when someone says "if I can do something for you let me know" they are being sensitive and open to God to work through them.
I had a friend offer his help and I had a need. Long story short I was able to simply sit in his office and ask if he was able to meet that need. He was and he did.
As I write this I am still in awe of God's goodness and this man's kindness towards me and my family. Because of him I am now the owner of a wonderful video camera that will be well used for ministry trips, filming jobs and video contest.
Be mindful of people's ability to meet a need. Ask and you shall receive.
At first glance this looks as if Jesus' lordship overrides the need to show respect by asking for the permission to use something.
But deeper study and looking into the actual verse revels to us that Jesus had a relationship with the owner of the donkey. Jesus gives great detail to what to look for and where to find it; he clearly had been there before.
I imagine there was a time when Jesus visited the man and during a conversation the man said something to the fact of, "Jesus, if ever I can do anything for you, let me know."
The time came for a need, and Jesus was able to call on this friend for that favor.
I remember long ago, my brother was just 4 or 5 years old I was just 10 or 11 and taking him to children's church. He saw the Children's Pastor and asked him for money for the soda machine. Right then and there! I stared to correct him and tell him how rude it was to ask such a thing. But before I could get the words out of my mouth the minister smiled and handed him 50 cents then patted me on the head and said, "you have not because you ask not."
I've carried that lesson with me for over 20 years.
My spiritual father told me once that humans, by nature, are not giving; giving comes the Holy Spirit probing us to do so. So when someone says "if I can do something for you let me know" they are being sensitive and open to God to work through them.
I had a friend offer his help and I had a need. Long story short I was able to simply sit in his office and ask if he was able to meet that need. He was and he did.
As I write this I am still in awe of God's goodness and this man's kindness towards me and my family. Because of him I am now the owner of a wonderful video camera that will be well used for ministry trips, filming jobs and video contest.
Be mindful of people's ability to meet a need. Ask and you shall receive.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Controlled Chaos
One of the things I'd try to make sure we had in our youth ministries was a little element called "controlled chaos."
Let's face it, teens just want to have fun. Guys too.
I believe that if you can have a time in every service for a little controlled chaos, then great things could happen.
Whether it be a group activity, silly game, gross contest, controlled chaos is something to get teens up and having fun. It helps create an atmosphere for good things to happen.
In the movie "The Dark Knight" there is a scene where "The Joker" is having some one-on-one time with Harvey Dent in the hospital. He makes a statement, "Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos...I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and you know the thing about chaos...it's fair."
A little over the top? Yes! However, there is a lot of truth (I believe) to it.
Think about this.
When it comes to the most meaningful relationships in your life; spouse, family, friends, God-- would you say that you have a real in depth relationship with them or are they more on the surface? The truth be told, it's easy for the best relationships we have to quickly fall into a pseudo style relationship.
So how do we keep those relationships real, instead of slipping into surface acquaintances?
Introduce a little chaos.
Bill Hybles calls it, "The Tunnel of Chaos" and Mike Yaconelli gives detail in his book "Messy Spiritually" that if you want to really grow then you've got to go through this stage in your relationships.
A level of chaos has to be introduced! You've got to come to a place where you can look at each other and say, "if we're going to move from a pseudo relationship to a real in depth meaningful relationship then we've got to allow each others messiness to get on us."
Real openness.
Real transparency.
Real arguments.
Real love.
Real forgiveness.
Real accountability.
Upset the established order to your surface relationships, introduce a little controlled chaos and watch great things happen.
Let's face it, teens just want to have fun. Guys too.
I believe that if you can have a time in every service for a little controlled chaos, then great things could happen.
Whether it be a group activity, silly game, gross contest, controlled chaos is something to get teens up and having fun. It helps create an atmosphere for good things to happen.
In the movie "The Dark Knight" there is a scene where "The Joker" is having some one-on-one time with Harvey Dent in the hospital. He makes a statement, "Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos...I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and you know the thing about chaos...it's fair."
A little over the top? Yes! However, there is a lot of truth (I believe) to it.
Think about this.
When it comes to the most meaningful relationships in your life; spouse, family, friends, God-- would you say that you have a real in depth relationship with them or are they more on the surface? The truth be told, it's easy for the best relationships we have to quickly fall into a pseudo style relationship.
So how do we keep those relationships real, instead of slipping into surface acquaintances?
Introduce a little chaos.
Bill Hybles calls it, "The Tunnel of Chaos" and Mike Yaconelli gives detail in his book "Messy Spiritually" that if you want to really grow then you've got to go through this stage in your relationships.
A level of chaos has to be introduced! You've got to come to a place where you can look at each other and say, "if we're going to move from a pseudo relationship to a real in depth meaningful relationship then we've got to allow each others messiness to get on us."
Real openness.
Real transparency.
Real arguments.
Real love.
Real forgiveness.
Real accountability.
Upset the established order to your surface relationships, introduce a little controlled chaos and watch great things happen.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Legos, Connections and Friendships
I've recently heard someone talk about how everyone is like a Lego.
We all have a limited number of connectors.
Connectors like on a Lego.
Introverts have a few.
Extroverts have up to dozens.
Either way, once they're full, they're full.
This makes sense to me, because I've often struggled to fully understand the lack of friendship from people who didn't really measure up to what I expected out of a friend; and more importantly I've struggled to BE that type of friend that I feel I SHOULD be.
See, I'm an extrovert, and I have so many relationships that I don't have many "connectors" left. In fact, I find myself having to take some friends off in order to make room (time) for others. I mean, let's be honest....do you talk to all 400 of your friends on Facebook at least once a week? I don't. In fact, I feel like I liar for even having that many "friends" that I don't even talk to once a year!!!! This is probably why "T-Mobile" and other cell companies give you a "Fave-5" plan......they know most of us only have room for about five real, meaningful, connecting relationships. Some a little more, some a little less.
I no longer feel guilty for "not being THAT friend" nor do I any longer think ill of those who aren't that type of friend to me.
Why?
Because "acts of friendship" is one thing, and "acts of connection" is another.
When we moved into our house, the first week was great. We received pies, cookies, smiles, handshakes all welcoming us into the neighborhood. So many "acts of friendships", but ask me if I'm connected with any of them......the answer is no.
This is why many people complain about church being "cliquish." The reality of it is, it's not a church full of cliques as much as it is a church full of people whose connectors are already full.
This has been most helpful for me to understand why I've lost so many relationships over the last year during our time of ministry transition. I used to think it's because that person wasn't a "real friend" but the truth is, people have to make room if their connectors are full due to schedules, locations, timing, influences, and new relationships; some must come off to make room for the new or the relationships that want to be meaningful.
Sure, it doesn't make it any easier to know you've been taken off the relationship connector with someone, but know it's part of the process. It doesn't mean those people are bad or shallow or don't live up to your expectations.....it simply means their connectors are full and someone has to be dropped to make room for someone they want to have a deeper relationship with.
Because like Legos, some are used to build huge buildings, some are used to build cars....and some just get lost.
(The Legos example came from the book: Sticky Church)
We all have a limited number of connectors.
Connectors like on a Lego.
Introverts have a few.
Extroverts have up to dozens.
Either way, once they're full, they're full.
This makes sense to me, because I've often struggled to fully understand the lack of friendship from people who didn't really measure up to what I expected out of a friend; and more importantly I've struggled to BE that type of friend that I feel I SHOULD be.
See, I'm an extrovert, and I have so many relationships that I don't have many "connectors" left. In fact, I find myself having to take some friends off in order to make room (time) for others. I mean, let's be honest....do you talk to all 400 of your friends on Facebook at least once a week? I don't. In fact, I feel like I liar for even having that many "friends" that I don't even talk to once a year!!!! This is probably why "T-Mobile" and other cell companies give you a "Fave-5" plan......they know most of us only have room for about five real, meaningful, connecting relationships. Some a little more, some a little less.
I no longer feel guilty for "not being THAT friend" nor do I any longer think ill of those who aren't that type of friend to me.
Why?
Because "acts of friendship" is one thing, and "acts of connection" is another.
When we moved into our house, the first week was great. We received pies, cookies, smiles, handshakes all welcoming us into the neighborhood. So many "acts of friendships", but ask me if I'm connected with any of them......the answer is no.
This is why many people complain about church being "cliquish." The reality of it is, it's not a church full of cliques as much as it is a church full of people whose connectors are already full.
This has been most helpful for me to understand why I've lost so many relationships over the last year during our time of ministry transition. I used to think it's because that person wasn't a "real friend" but the truth is, people have to make room if their connectors are full due to schedules, locations, timing, influences, and new relationships; some must come off to make room for the new or the relationships that want to be meaningful.
Sure, it doesn't make it any easier to know you've been taken off the relationship connector with someone, but know it's part of the process. It doesn't mean those people are bad or shallow or don't live up to your expectations.....it simply means their connectors are full and someone has to be dropped to make room for someone they want to have a deeper relationship with.
Because like Legos, some are used to build huge buildings, some are used to build cars....and some just get lost.
(The Legos example came from the book: Sticky Church)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
My Personal Cherith
1 Kings 17:2-5 Then the word of the LORD came to him, saying, “Get away from here and turn eastward, and hide by the Brook Cherith, which flows into the Jordan. And it will be that you shall drink from the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to feed you there.” So he went and did according to the word of the LORD, for he went and stayed by the Brook Cherith, which flows into the Jordan.
God's plan is always full of surprise and mystery. Here is the beginning of Elijah's boot camp experience.
Here are some lessons I've learned over the last year from my personal Cherith. Some of these life lessons I've known for a long time and have been able to use in this time, others have been things I've known but only now truly value.
Accountability is King
Accountability is like a two-sided coin. Many of us only "cash in" on the one side of it. It's the "when you ask me, I'll tell" side. This is helpful and useful, but the other side of the "coin" is the "I'll tell you before you even ask." Offering necessary information before it's required is the side of accountability that brings healing and protection.
It's Hard to Finish Strong
We have so few examples of this in the Bible and it seems even fewer in today's culture. It's hard to finish strong, period. Surrounding yourself with people who will speak the truth in love is key to helping. Beware of keeping nothing but "yes men" around you. Oscar Wilde said it best, "true friends stab you in the chest."
There are Friends and then there are Real Friends
I didn't ever really get this. To me a friend was someone who met the biblical definition found in Proverbs 18:24. Some translations say "real" friend and others just say "a friend that sticks closer than a brother." Regardless, it's important to know who in your life can be that. I've learned that to expect real friendships from people who are incapable of delivering that type of relationship only leads to heartache. But understanding that some people simply can only live at a lower level of friendship allows there to be less offense. Knowing this helps keep proper perspective. It's not that people who can't deliver "real" friendship are bad or evil, they are just living at the level they understand friendship to be.
Extreme Situations Bring Out What Has Always Been in the Heart
The Bible tells us to "guard our heart" but we have been taught since we were young about behavior modification. There's a huge difference. I counseled a young lady that was upset and confessing how she couldn't understand why she "flipped off" a driver for cutting her off. She loves Jesus. She's a worshipper. She tithes. She prays regularly. So why the sudden outbreak of the one finger wave?
When I was young, my mom heard me say some things I shouldn't have said. Her response, "Vincent! I'm gonna wash your mouth out with soap!" I learned that day--some words can only be said in the locker room and not around mom--Behavior Modification.
People can say they love, offer forgiveness, believe in restoration, serve others. But you truly don't know until things don't go the way they should. When a crisis happens, that's the time to see what's truly in people's hearts. Pay attention! Because this shows what's truly in your heart.
God Provides
No, really. He does. The ravens have brought us bread everyday. Jesus said, "when you pray--pray, give us this day our daily bread." I was always so proud of my management abilities. No credit card debt, two paid-off vehicles, no debt whatsoever except for a house payment. Yet in the eight months of being without a job I have been so disgusted with knowing what my former salary was and realizing how much I was truly wasting.
I've always known that people who complain about not making enough and are always behind was never an issue of "not making enough". It's about "not managing properly." When your output is more than your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall.
As we all forge through this recession, know this: you can live on a lot less and God always provides.
The High and Mighty Assassin is Very Sneaky
Pride. I didn't even know I was full of the stuff. It's amazing how fine the line is between being confident in what God has gifted you in and being confident in your gifts. Having a real friend who will stab you in the chest is very helpful against this "assassin of character."
Everybody Hurts
Hurt people, hurt people. It's easy to focus on the hurt that people inflict without seeing what caused the person to hurt. This is best illustrated in "The Tale of Despereaux" ---Then something strange happens: The sun disappears from Dor. Clouds cover the land, but the rain refuses to fall. Gloom descends. By way of explanation, the narrator states that the rats' presence was a very natural thing, and that when something as unnatural as their banishment occurs, everyone hurts. The king hurts Roscuro. The rat hurts the princess after she hurts him. The princess hurts Mig by inadvertently belittling her. And Mig hurts the princess in retaliation.
When dealing with those who are hurting others or even yourself the realization of needing to extend grace in the face of misunderstanding will help the healing process.
Fear is a very strong emotion, but forgiveness is stronger.
God's plan is always full of surprise and mystery. Here is the beginning of Elijah's boot camp experience.
Here are some lessons I've learned over the last year from my personal Cherith. Some of these life lessons I've known for a long time and have been able to use in this time, others have been things I've known but only now truly value.
Accountability is King
Accountability is like a two-sided coin. Many of us only "cash in" on the one side of it. It's the "when you ask me, I'll tell" side. This is helpful and useful, but the other side of the "coin" is the "I'll tell you before you even ask." Offering necessary information before it's required is the side of accountability that brings healing and protection.
It's Hard to Finish Strong
We have so few examples of this in the Bible and it seems even fewer in today's culture. It's hard to finish strong, period. Surrounding yourself with people who will speak the truth in love is key to helping. Beware of keeping nothing but "yes men" around you. Oscar Wilde said it best, "true friends stab you in the chest."
There are Friends and then there are Real Friends
I didn't ever really get this. To me a friend was someone who met the biblical definition found in Proverbs 18:24. Some translations say "real" friend and others just say "a friend that sticks closer than a brother." Regardless, it's important to know who in your life can be that. I've learned that to expect real friendships from people who are incapable of delivering that type of relationship only leads to heartache. But understanding that some people simply can only live at a lower level of friendship allows there to be less offense. Knowing this helps keep proper perspective. It's not that people who can't deliver "real" friendship are bad or evil, they are just living at the level they understand friendship to be.
Extreme Situations Bring Out What Has Always Been in the Heart
The Bible tells us to "guard our heart" but we have been taught since we were young about behavior modification. There's a huge difference. I counseled a young lady that was upset and confessing how she couldn't understand why she "flipped off" a driver for cutting her off. She loves Jesus. She's a worshipper. She tithes. She prays regularly. So why the sudden outbreak of the one finger wave?
When I was young, my mom heard me say some things I shouldn't have said. Her response, "Vincent! I'm gonna wash your mouth out with soap!" I learned that day--some words can only be said in the locker room and not around mom--Behavior Modification.
People can say they love, offer forgiveness, believe in restoration, serve others. But you truly don't know until things don't go the way they should. When a crisis happens, that's the time to see what's truly in people's hearts. Pay attention! Because this shows what's truly in your heart.
God Provides
No, really. He does. The ravens have brought us bread everyday. Jesus said, "when you pray--pray, give us this day our daily bread." I was always so proud of my management abilities. No credit card debt, two paid-off vehicles, no debt whatsoever except for a house payment. Yet in the eight months of being without a job I have been so disgusted with knowing what my former salary was and realizing how much I was truly wasting.
I've always known that people who complain about not making enough and are always behind was never an issue of "not making enough". It's about "not managing properly." When your output is more than your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall.
As we all forge through this recession, know this: you can live on a lot less and God always provides.
The High and Mighty Assassin is Very Sneaky
Pride. I didn't even know I was full of the stuff. It's amazing how fine the line is between being confident in what God has gifted you in and being confident in your gifts. Having a real friend who will stab you in the chest is very helpful against this "assassin of character."
Everybody Hurts
Hurt people, hurt people. It's easy to focus on the hurt that people inflict without seeing what caused the person to hurt. This is best illustrated in "The Tale of Despereaux" ---Then something strange happens: The sun disappears from Dor. Clouds cover the land, but the rain refuses to fall. Gloom descends. By way of explanation, the narrator states that the rats' presence was a very natural thing, and that when something as unnatural as their banishment occurs, everyone hurts. The king hurts Roscuro. The rat hurts the princess after she hurts him. The princess hurts Mig by inadvertently belittling her. And Mig hurts the princess in retaliation.
When dealing with those who are hurting others or even yourself the realization of needing to extend grace in the face of misunderstanding will help the healing process.
Fear is a very strong emotion, but forgiveness is stronger.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
What Is Love?
Did you do it?
You did, didn't you?
I know you did.
When you read this title, you started singing, "what is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more" with your head tilted to the side doing a little head action.
OR
If you're super spiritual, you simply answered the question by quoting, 1 Corinthians 13:4, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."
Regardless of what you were thinking, let me share some thoughts on the subject of love for this Valentine's Day.
2 Stories
In a newspaper headline it read, "Woman Kills Her Husband." It showed a picture of a woman holding her dead husband in her lap with blood everywhere and a gun to the side of the body. In the article it read, "when the police entered the house, the wife was screaming "but I loved him, I loved him!"
I've had that type of love.
In the movie, The Duchess, after being cheated on countless times and threatened by her husband, the Duke, that if she does not come home she will never see her children again; the Duchess cries out, "what's wrong with me? Why do you not love me?" The Duke replies, "I do love you." She responds, "how do you love me?" The Duke replies, "I have loved you the best that I understand what love is."
I've had that type of love too.
So, what is love? I believe we have to run everything through what Christ did. In other words, we look at the life of Jesus and get our answers to the questions we have.
Look what Christ did for us.
Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object.
Christ struggled with going to the cross. He said, "Father, not my will but your will be done." Jesus made a choice.
Did he have emotion? You bet. In fact, the Bible says he sweat drops of blood. That's some intense emotion!
Emotions are great, but too many times we put our emotions before the choice. It's like putting the cart before the horse. It's why so many marriages end in divorce. The "feelings" are gone, and so goes the marriage.
Jesus went to the cross. An act of the will that leads to physical action. Many people say "I love you" but there is no action that backs it up. Or like in the two stories mentioned before, the action is anything but "lovely."
Action on behalf of its object??? Christ went to the cross (that's the action) for us (we're the object of God's love) We are the ones who benefit from Christ going to the cross. We are reconciled to God because of it.
Do you choose to live a life of passionately giving of yourself to benefit someone else?
Not what you can get out of it,
not in how it makes you look good,
not to protect yourself,
but openly exposed to the possibility of real love.
It's harder than it sounds. It will cost you everything.
But I can't imagine loving any other way!
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. John 15:13
Happy Valentine's Day!
You did, didn't you?
I know you did.
When you read this title, you started singing, "what is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more" with your head tilted to the side doing a little head action.
OR
If you're super spiritual, you simply answered the question by quoting, 1 Corinthians 13:4, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."
Regardless of what you were thinking, let me share some thoughts on the subject of love for this Valentine's Day.
2 Stories
In a newspaper headline it read, "Woman Kills Her Husband." It showed a picture of a woman holding her dead husband in her lap with blood everywhere and a gun to the side of the body. In the article it read, "when the police entered the house, the wife was screaming "but I loved him, I loved him!"
I've had that type of love.
In the movie, The Duchess, after being cheated on countless times and threatened by her husband, the Duke, that if she does not come home she will never see her children again; the Duchess cries out, "what's wrong with me? Why do you not love me?" The Duke replies, "I do love you." She responds, "how do you love me?" The Duke replies, "I have loved you the best that I understand what love is."
I've had that type of love too.
So, what is love? I believe we have to run everything through what Christ did. In other words, we look at the life of Jesus and get our answers to the questions we have.
Look what Christ did for us.
Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object.
Christ struggled with going to the cross. He said, "Father, not my will but your will be done." Jesus made a choice.
Did he have emotion? You bet. In fact, the Bible says he sweat drops of blood. That's some intense emotion!
Emotions are great, but too many times we put our emotions before the choice. It's like putting the cart before the horse. It's why so many marriages end in divorce. The "feelings" are gone, and so goes the marriage.
Jesus went to the cross. An act of the will that leads to physical action. Many people say "I love you" but there is no action that backs it up. Or like in the two stories mentioned before, the action is anything but "lovely."
Action on behalf of its object??? Christ went to the cross (that's the action) for us (we're the object of God's love) We are the ones who benefit from Christ going to the cross. We are reconciled to God because of it.
Do you choose to live a life of passionately giving of yourself to benefit someone else?
Not what you can get out of it,
not in how it makes you look good,
not to protect yourself,
but openly exposed to the possibility of real love.
It's harder than it sounds. It will cost you everything.
But I can't imagine loving any other way!
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. John 15:13
Happy Valentine's Day!
Friday, November 21, 2008
FRIENDS
What did you think of when you read the title?
The T.V. show?
Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant's hit song of the 80's?
Facebook?
Or that person in your life who sticks closer than a brother?
Friends.
One of the many things I'm thankful for this holiday season.
The Bible talks much about the subject of friendship, so it seems this would be an area of life to spend some time making sure some extra attention is given.
While I don't want to blog about the issues of what to look for in a friend or what not to look for in a friend, I would like to share something that I have discovered to help in knowing what to expect from a friend and how to make the journey of friendship less bumpy. I want to show you three people from the Bible that can give us some insight on the subject of friends.
I believe that healthy friendships will consist of a mixture of these three types of relationships.
"The Paul."
"The Barnabas."
and "The Timothy."
The Paul is someone who has "been there and done that" and had some success in it. Usually this person is older than you, but not always. The Paul is someone you greatly respect and allow them to speak truthfully and honestly into your life. The Paul is just ahead of the race, leading the way.
The Barnabas is an encourager. The very name means exactly that: one who encourages. Life brings disappointments. Do you have someone who inspires you with courage? Someone who spurs your spirit and builds your confidence? I dare to say most friendships we have typically fit into this category, but it's important to make sure you have the Paul's and the Timothy's.
The Barnabas is in the race right beside you.
The Timothy. Think of what I wrote concerning The Paul.....are you that to someone? The Timothy is usually the person younger than you (but not always) where you have the ability to ask them hard questions. Where you can speak into their lives. The Timothy is running the race and he's following your lead.
I count my life truly blessed to have many friends that fit these various characteristics. Anything outside these are nice acquaintances. Enjoyable, nice but typically just surface relationships.
If you have some friends that fit into these characteristics, take this simple Holiday Friend Challenge:
Write a card or letter (facebook, IM, text, email doesn't count) and tell them why you're so thankful for having them in your life.
John 15:14 (The Message Bible) I've told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father.
The T.V. show?
Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant's hit song of the 80's?
Facebook?
Or that person in your life who sticks closer than a brother?
Friends.
One of the many things I'm thankful for this holiday season.
The Bible talks much about the subject of friendship, so it seems this would be an area of life to spend some time making sure some extra attention is given.
While I don't want to blog about the issues of what to look for in a friend or what not to look for in a friend, I would like to share something that I have discovered to help in knowing what to expect from a friend and how to make the journey of friendship less bumpy. I want to show you three people from the Bible that can give us some insight on the subject of friends.
I believe that healthy friendships will consist of a mixture of these three types of relationships.
"The Paul."
"The Barnabas."
and "The Timothy."
The Paul is someone who has "been there and done that" and had some success in it. Usually this person is older than you, but not always. The Paul is someone you greatly respect and allow them to speak truthfully and honestly into your life. The Paul is just ahead of the race, leading the way.
The Barnabas is an encourager. The very name means exactly that: one who encourages. Life brings disappointments. Do you have someone who inspires you with courage? Someone who spurs your spirit and builds your confidence? I dare to say most friendships we have typically fit into this category, but it's important to make sure you have the Paul's and the Timothy's.
The Barnabas is in the race right beside you.
The Timothy. Think of what I wrote concerning The Paul.....are you that to someone? The Timothy is usually the person younger than you (but not always) where you have the ability to ask them hard questions. Where you can speak into their lives. The Timothy is running the race and he's following your lead.
I count my life truly blessed to have many friends that fit these various characteristics. Anything outside these are nice acquaintances. Enjoyable, nice but typically just surface relationships.
If you have some friends that fit into these characteristics, take this simple Holiday Friend Challenge:
Write a card or letter (facebook, IM, text, email doesn't count) and tell them why you're so thankful for having them in your life.
John 15:14 (The Message Bible) I've told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)