Sports legend John Wooden died at age 99 this week.
To be honest, he was more than just a sports legend, he was really a life legend.
Character.
Honesty.
Fortitude
Truth.
Poise.
Loyalty.
Enthusiasm, just to name a few.
"John Wooden was a very religious man and in some ways he treated the game religiously."--William Nack
Of all the wonderful things that have been said about this great man, there was one thing in particular that stood out to me that I think we all in life, especially those of in ministry, can glean and learn from.
In an article, one of Coach Wooden's former assistant coaches made this statement, "Coach Wooden never talked about winning. Instead he told us (coaching staff) "we must master three things: 1. Get them in shape 2. Teach them the basics 3. Teach them to play together."
I find this amazing, especially when so much strife in the church world has to do with "winning."
Get them in shape.
Teach the basics.
Teach how to play well together.
So many of life's issues, both good and bad, have to do with faith. Can we trust God to get us through? What if He doesn't? Why do bad things happen to good people? Or for that matter, why do good things happen to bad people? You can tell if a person is in spiritual shape not by how much they worship or attend church, but how they handle life when things don't work out the way they thought they should.
Is your faith in shape?
As I watched game two in the Laker's VS Celtics NBA Playoffs I witnessed a classic rebound and point conversion because of knowing the basics. It was so inspiring that the announcers kept going back to it during breaks in the game.
If Jesus was a basketball coach I'm pretty sure He would teach the basics over and over. He would be saying to the team, "take care of the basics and you'll achieve the national championship." Or in KJV, "take care of the small things and you'll be ruler over much".
In youth ministry we tried to teach our teens the simple HABITS: Hang time with God, Accountability, Bible memorization, Involvement in church, Tithe, and Service.
The basics are what keep you healthy and produce unwavering hope.
Is your hope grounded?
Teach them how to play well together. Wow! Need I say more?
I will say this: I, like many others, have experienced a "church breakup" (to use polite terms). And one of the biggest questions that arises in that time of healing is, "did I miss God?" After all I pretty sure every minister--including myself--believes the same thing when they go on staff or start attending a church. And that is "God called me here". I won't dispute that.
So what do you do when man calls you away from there?
My vote: leave. I know that sounds harsh and ungodly, but hear me out. Because if you argue from the standpoint of "God called me to this area and we're staying" then what you might as well be saying is, "God thinks the greatest way to reproduce churches is by the way of dysfunction and church splitting."
It would be as if God is up in heaven saying, "you know we could use more churches in that area, I'm going to send Vince to that church because one day they will kick him out and he'll church plant in that same area and then we'll have more churches there!" God then leans over and gives Jesus a high five.
Here is what I've found out during my short time on planet Earth. God gave us all brains to be able to figure some things out on our own. Some things are just highly probable. It's highly probable that a church split is going to do more lasting damage for many years than it will start to do good. If there is a chance that you two can't play well together, go to a different sandbox. Jesus said "if at all possible live peaceable with everyone." Which tells me for some that just won't be possible.
Now I know that sounds really rough and I've probably offended some, if I haven't offended you, just wait your turn I'll get to you; I'm an equally opportunity offender. *wink and smile*
I in no way am questioning what God did or did not tell you, but I've been around the block enough to know sometimes it can be good and people can play well together and sometimes it's just us wanting our way and using whatever scripture and justification to get it. Because the two are sometimes hard to tell apart, that is where accountability comes into play. Because if you submit to someone and they tell you "no" when you feel God told you "yes" then you are not held accountable, they are. Honestly there are too many scripture references to put in this one because the Bible says it from start to finish.
It's a basic in life that will help you love others and play well.
Oh, and how do you know if you're accountable and doing what you should? A timeless key is, "How do you respond when those over you tell you something you don't want to hear? Defensive or offended or quick to respond with a list of why they are wrong? Or do you do what they say with humility and with honor towards them?
How's your love level?
When I hear Coach Wooden say, "Get them in shape, teach them the basics and train them to play well together", I hear the Apostle Paul echo the heartbeat of God by saying, "Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Marriage, Points and Manna
I just finished up with a two-day marriage retreat in Summertown, TN.
We had a fantastic time taking a biblical look at marriage and learning some key principles to make our marriages go the distance.
In one session alone I just spent time outlining "The Four Laws of Marriage." They come from Genesis 2: 23-24, which says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."
In these two verses God gives us His ways for marriage.
Allow me to share one of the four with you.
"And shall cleave unto his wife." This is the law of pursuit.
Marriage takes work. A healthy marriage is one that is worked on continuously.
The reason why this "law" of marriage tends to fall through the cracks is because by nature we become lazy once we've acquired what we were pursuing.
I call it the "Woo, Woo, Whoa" syndrome. In the early stages of chasing after her; us guys do a lot of "wooing"---we dress nice, buy gifts, open doors (you get the picture) Then once we have her, we "whoa."
Or maybe it's not so much that we "whoa" as much as we don't understand the "point" system.
Yes, there is a point system all of us married guys keep up with; and they are valid points. Washing the dishes. One point.
Vacuuming. One point.
Buying flowers on a "non-special" day. One point.
Voluntary help with the kids. One point. And many more.
The problem is all points evaporate at midnight. They can't be stored up and cashed in when you want. Because love has to be pursued daily and without hidden motivation.
It's the "manna principle." Each day the Israelites were given food from Heaven, but they could only collect enough food for that day. After that day, all the leftover food spoiled and was no good.
In order to be a success in anything; you have to work at it. Sports, career, health, school; if you want it to be better then you have to work at it, but for some reason when it comes to marriage many tend to think they can stop working at it.
Don't be like so many that quit pursuing their spouse once the ring is on the finger; because like day old manna, it will sour and spoil.
We had a fantastic time taking a biblical look at marriage and learning some key principles to make our marriages go the distance.
In one session alone I just spent time outlining "The Four Laws of Marriage." They come from Genesis 2: 23-24, which says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."
In these two verses God gives us His ways for marriage.
Allow me to share one of the four with you.
"And shall cleave unto his wife." This is the law of pursuit.
Marriage takes work. A healthy marriage is one that is worked on continuously.
The reason why this "law" of marriage tends to fall through the cracks is because by nature we become lazy once we've acquired what we were pursuing.
I call it the "Woo, Woo, Whoa" syndrome. In the early stages of chasing after her; us guys do a lot of "wooing"---we dress nice, buy gifts, open doors (you get the picture) Then once we have her, we "whoa."
Or maybe it's not so much that we "whoa" as much as we don't understand the "point" system.
Yes, there is a point system all of us married guys keep up with; and they are valid points. Washing the dishes. One point.
Vacuuming. One point.
Buying flowers on a "non-special" day. One point.
Voluntary help with the kids. One point. And many more.
The problem is all points evaporate at midnight. They can't be stored up and cashed in when you want. Because love has to be pursued daily and without hidden motivation.
It's the "manna principle." Each day the Israelites were given food from Heaven, but they could only collect enough food for that day. After that day, all the leftover food spoiled and was no good.
In order to be a success in anything; you have to work at it. Sports, career, health, school; if you want it to be better then you have to work at it, but for some reason when it comes to marriage many tend to think they can stop working at it.
Don't be like so many that quit pursuing their spouse once the ring is on the finger; because like day old manna, it will sour and spoil.
Friday, February 20, 2009
The Base Level
I was asked to post this after preaching it to a church. I usually preach this every February.
Honestly, I was kinda worried that I might not get to share it this year; however it has turn out that I've had the opportunity to share this message to three different churches in three different settings.
Youth.
Adults.
Pastors.
So, it's still the month of love and here are some thoughts to encourage the ladies what to look for in a guy before dating him or getting married---for us guys, what to become before saying I do to any of those two offers.
Keep in mind ladies that there is a difference between a guy who is not quite here but is trying to get there and a guy who has no desire to be this type of man.
Guys, I hope that you would see these character traits and ask God to give you the grace to want to be a better man tomorrow than today. I don't think any of us are there yet, but the point is to want to get there.
I'll write this in the context to the ladies, but guys take note.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her...
1. Leads in Love
Does he know what love is? Do you? This scripture says that the man is to love his wife just like Christ loved the church. What is Love? Simply, an act of the will that is accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of it's object.
Christ said, "Father not my will but your will be done." He sweat drops of blood in His prayer. He died for our sins. For our benefit.
Love is to make a choice to live for someone else's benefit.
Men, are you leading in love?
Ladies, are you dating a guy who understands this?
Ephesians 5:26 ...that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,...
2. Leads in the Word
I see with women this digression process in dating. Ask any young Christian girl who she wants to marry and she'll say something to the effect, "I want a man of God who's a spiritual giant like a Billy Graham with the body of Vince Farrell." (ok, maybe not word for word) ask her when she's in her early twenties and it's "I want a good Godly man." If she's still single in her early thirties it's, "someone who knows where a church is at."
The question here is, "can he disciple you in the Word of God?" That's why if you're dating a guy who is not a believer, you are so off course on what the base level is!!! Listen ladies, when you date a guy who can not lead you in the ways of God; you are setting your family up for destruction! You are saying to this guy, "hey, I know you could care less about doing life the way God commands and I'd like you to raise my children one day the same way."
Ladies, if he's not that into Jesus...don't be that into him.
Guys, we want to be men who seek God and His ways for our life.
Ephesians 5:27 ...t He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish....
3. Leads in Purity
Deep down in the heart of every guy, on their wedding day, they want to see those doors open and their bride walking down in a white dress. Because that white dress means, "mine." Not Tom's, Bill's, Ed's, Paul's.....mine! No one else's. A guy who leads in purity is a man who is concerned about one day being able to present her to himself. See ladies if you understood that his is how a majority of men (at least the ones worth dating) think, then you'd understand what's really being said when he asks to give yourself to him sexually. What a guy is really saying when he asks you to "take the relationship to the next level" is, "hey I've got some urges and desires right now that I need you to fulfill, thus becoming the type of lady I really have no interest in marring."
Ladies, is he radically concerned about keeping you pure?
Men, if you pick her up for a date and she's looking all fine and your hormones start to kick in....ask her if you can bring her younger brother on the date with you two, or her dad......you go extreme to keep her pure.
Honestly, I was kinda worried that I might not get to share it this year; however it has turn out that I've had the opportunity to share this message to three different churches in three different settings.
Youth.
Adults.
Pastors.
So, it's still the month of love and here are some thoughts to encourage the ladies what to look for in a guy before dating him or getting married---for us guys, what to become before saying I do to any of those two offers.
Keep in mind ladies that there is a difference between a guy who is not quite here but is trying to get there and a guy who has no desire to be this type of man.
Guys, I hope that you would see these character traits and ask God to give you the grace to want to be a better man tomorrow than today. I don't think any of us are there yet, but the point is to want to get there.
I'll write this in the context to the ladies, but guys take note.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her...
1. Leads in Love
Does he know what love is? Do you? This scripture says that the man is to love his wife just like Christ loved the church. What is Love? Simply, an act of the will that is accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of it's object.
Christ said, "Father not my will but your will be done." He sweat drops of blood in His prayer. He died for our sins. For our benefit.
Love is to make a choice to live for someone else's benefit.
Men, are you leading in love?
Ladies, are you dating a guy who understands this?
Ephesians 5:26 ...that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,...
2. Leads in the Word
I see with women this digression process in dating. Ask any young Christian girl who she wants to marry and she'll say something to the effect, "I want a man of God who's a spiritual giant like a Billy Graham with the body of Vince Farrell." (ok, maybe not word for word) ask her when she's in her early twenties and it's "I want a good Godly man." If she's still single in her early thirties it's, "someone who knows where a church is at."
The question here is, "can he disciple you in the Word of God?" That's why if you're dating a guy who is not a believer, you are so off course on what the base level is!!! Listen ladies, when you date a guy who can not lead you in the ways of God; you are setting your family up for destruction! You are saying to this guy, "hey, I know you could care less about doing life the way God commands and I'd like you to raise my children one day the same way."
Ladies, if he's not that into Jesus...don't be that into him.
Guys, we want to be men who seek God and His ways for our life.
Ephesians 5:27 ...t He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish....
3. Leads in Purity
Deep down in the heart of every guy, on their wedding day, they want to see those doors open and their bride walking down in a white dress. Because that white dress means, "mine." Not Tom's, Bill's, Ed's, Paul's.....mine! No one else's. A guy who leads in purity is a man who is concerned about one day being able to present her to himself. See ladies if you understood that his is how a majority of men (at least the ones worth dating) think, then you'd understand what's really being said when he asks to give yourself to him sexually. What a guy is really saying when he asks you to "take the relationship to the next level" is, "hey I've got some urges and desires right now that I need you to fulfill, thus becoming the type of lady I really have no interest in marring."
Ladies, is he radically concerned about keeping you pure?
Men, if you pick her up for a date and she's looking all fine and your hormones start to kick in....ask her if you can bring her younger brother on the date with you two, or her dad......you go extreme to keep her pure.
Ephesians 5:28-29...So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church....
4. Leads in Selflessness
Do I have to explain this one? I'll be honest, many times us guys do things during the dating process to get the girl. Things we don't do for others that we all of the sudden do for her. Open the car door, bring flowers, buy gifts, give back massages, etc. This is the "wooing" of dating. It's the truth. If you don't believe me ask a guy when was the last time he did any of those things for his buddies? We woo, and woo, and woo and when we have you, we woe!
Ladies, understand the difference in a guy who is "wooing" you or who has your needs at the top of his list.
Guys, the rubber meets the road for us when we get married. As I mentioned, we tend to stop once the ring is on the finger. I challenge you to turn off the TV, cell phone, or PlayStation. Ask her how you can be less selfish. Start opening car doors again. If anyone in you house has to do without, who would it be?
Hope you enjoyed these thoughts from God's Word. I pray that you would look at these four characteristics and really make them the base level in what to look for in a guy.
As a guy, my prayer is "to do better today than I did yesterday and better tomorrow than today.
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Relationship Cycle
I believe the Bible gives us a cycle, or process of stages, that every relationship goes through.
Every marriage.
Every friendship.
Every family.
Every church.
Every small group.
Every relationship.
In order to know where you are in the relationship you must first start by knowing where you are at. God asks in Genesis 3:8-9 "Where are you?" You are either, hiding or seeking. Adam in this scene is hiding, but he doesn't know that he's lost. Many relationships are set on "cruise control" thinking all is well and not even know they are getting lost; because if you aren't seeking, then you're hiding.
Before We Begin
There is a "cycle of death" that has begun in the garden. In fact, I thought about titling this post that, but that would not be fun to read, huh? So, let's look at the stages of this cycle and apply it to the subject of marriage; while at the same time keep in mind other relationships such as small group meetings or church or any other group.
Genesis 2:17 "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."
That word, surely, comes from the Hebrew and it means; in dieing you shall die. The best way I can describe what this means is to say, "go look at a picture of yourself 10 years ago." We are all dieing. Our eyes are failing us. Our hair is leaving us. Hearing, reflexes, muscle loss, etc. We are all dieing on the road to death. That's what the world was introduced to when man and woman ate from the tree.
Stage One
Revelation. At the beginning of every relationship there is a fresh "vision" of what could be. It's the open our eyes to the possibilities experience.
With Adam, when God pronounced a new future for him (in the sweat of your face you shall eat. Genesis 3:19) He then must prophecy a new relationship with his wife. He calls her "Eve" --the mother of all living. This had never happened before.
Stage Two
Inspiration. The fuel necessary to ignite the passion needed to overcome the inevitable problems. Now Adam had to transition from being a "gardener" to becoming a lover. This new passion made Adam forget what he had lost. Without passion, the fire of revelation is quickly extinguished. This loss of inspiration is where the relationship problems begin.
But first...
Question. Why did God force Adam and Eve out of the garden?
Because they had eaten of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil....(the cycle of death had started) and to ensure that they don't get caught in that never ending cycle, God says Adam must not take of the tree of life and eat, because he would then live forever, Genesis 3:22-23....forever in a state of death. That's not God's plan. His plan is for us to live with Him forever.
No death means immortality.
Immortality means we don't escape this cycle of death.
No escape means we never get the opportunity to live with God in Heaven.
Deep huh? Again, God does something that many times we think is for punishment but the reality of it is, it's because of His protection.
Stage Three
Formalization. The courage to act on the inspired revelation. This takes place with our commitment to sign on the dotted line. We're now willing to make the necessary sacrifices to see the vision fulfilled.
Genesis 4:1 "Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived and bore Cain."
Adam now has to transition from being a love to becoming a father. Another new role that had never taken place. This is where we'd say "the rubber meets the road" of relationships and originations. It's one thing to talk about doing something because of revelation, it's another thing to do it. This is one reason I tell young ladies who are in a dating relationship, "you don't owe him one thing; not sex, not holding hands, not kissing, nothing! Cause there's no ring on your finger."
And all the ladies, said......
Now remember all this is taking place in Adam and Eve's life under the promise that one day...."And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." Genesis 3:15
So in there mind, this boy is it. Cain! The boy called "spear" is going to fulfill God's prophecy. Adam must now transition from being a lover to being a father.
Stage Four
Institutionalization. Where the light of revelation slowly begins going out. We as men tend to be the most romantic when we are pursuing her. Then when we have her and children are here, we tend to woe. Or, how about this? Things are going good. We like how the small group or church is going, we want things to just keep going like they are.
Institutionalization is setting in and without fresh revelation accompanied by inspiration with formalization, then death is just around the corner.
Many people say that Cain and Able were twins because of the lack of a word in Genesis 4:2. And that is possible, but I want to share some possible new insight concerning this issue. In Genesis 4:1 it says, "Adam knew his wife Eve and she bore a son." That word "knew" is the most intimate word for a man and woman to experience together.
Listen.
There is a huge difference between "making love" and "having sex."
Without the revelation being fulfilled, and inspiration being fanned, Adam and Eve have found themselves in a relationship that has become nothing more than automation. They're going through the motions without new insight.
Eve names her next son, Able, meaning "vanity!" Can you hear her voice? The actual Hebrew means, "a sigh."
How sad.
Too many marriages "die"by divorce during the "empty nest" stage because after the kids are grown there is no new revelation! They've spent the last 2o years of their life together in the institutionalization mode and now they look at each other one day and say, "death to this."
In the same way, groups, churches, friendships that don't get new purpose beyond what they started out as, end up dieing a slow death.
Stage Five
Crystallization. Where the truth becomes locked in time. The cycle of death which Adam loosed in the garden was now working in his family. “Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.” Genesis 4:8
Now in Genesis 4:3 is says, "in the process of time..." That word process in the Hebrew means, "at the end of days." In other words, at the end of this relationship cycle...is death. All things die. What was once full of promise has become a cold corpse. I believe this death of a son and loss of the other brings Adam and Eve back to the beginning. What is needed now more than ever is fresh revelation--and it happens. “And Adam knew his wife again.” Genesis 4:25
This time they name him, Seth. "And as for Seth, to him also a son was born." Genesis 4:26
This is another first in history; because now Adam transitions from being a father to being a grandfather.
New revelation! This is what God was getting at in the beginning of the garden.
Now we understand this because we've had thousand of years to figure out that the seed of Jesus came from the bloodline of Seth who came from Adam and Eve.
But they didn't have this. They had to go through it the hard way.
They had to learn to see past the now, and into the future.
What would life look like if we had entered every relationship with God's long term vision for it?
We'd say things like, "I want to marry you and have kids that have kids that have kids who love God and follow Him all the day's of their lives."
Instead of, "let's move in together and see how this works out."
We'd say, "I attend this church to play a role in reaching the hundreds and thousands of people who need God."
Instead of saying, "this is my church, why change anything?"
We'd say, "I bring people to this small group to grow and multiply the Kingdom of God."
Instead of saying, "if it gets bigger then we'll loose what we have."
We'd say things like, "I want friendships that will grow stronger through change."
Instead of, "I may lose that friendship if things start to change."
I pray that if any of your relationships are on their way to dieing, that God would give you fresh revelation, new passion and a deep commitment to know what to do with it.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Every marriage.
Every friendship.
Every family.
Every church.
Every small group.
Every relationship.
In order to know where you are in the relationship you must first start by knowing where you are at. God asks in Genesis 3:8-9 "Where are you?" You are either, hiding or seeking. Adam in this scene is hiding, but he doesn't know that he's lost. Many relationships are set on "cruise control" thinking all is well and not even know they are getting lost; because if you aren't seeking, then you're hiding.
Before We Begin
There is a "cycle of death" that has begun in the garden. In fact, I thought about titling this post that, but that would not be fun to read, huh? So, let's look at the stages of this cycle and apply it to the subject of marriage; while at the same time keep in mind other relationships such as small group meetings or church or any other group.
Genesis 2:17 "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."
That word, surely, comes from the Hebrew and it means; in dieing you shall die. The best way I can describe what this means is to say, "go look at a picture of yourself 10 years ago." We are all dieing. Our eyes are failing us. Our hair is leaving us. Hearing, reflexes, muscle loss, etc. We are all dieing on the road to death. That's what the world was introduced to when man and woman ate from the tree.
Stage One
Revelation. At the beginning of every relationship there is a fresh "vision" of what could be. It's the open our eyes to the possibilities experience.
With Adam, when God pronounced a new future for him (in the sweat of your face you shall eat. Genesis 3:19) He then must prophecy a new relationship with his wife. He calls her "Eve" --the mother of all living. This had never happened before.
Stage Two
Inspiration. The fuel necessary to ignite the passion needed to overcome the inevitable problems. Now Adam had to transition from being a "gardener" to becoming a lover. This new passion made Adam forget what he had lost. Without passion, the fire of revelation is quickly extinguished. This loss of inspiration is where the relationship problems begin.
But first...
Question. Why did God force Adam and Eve out of the garden?
Because they had eaten of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil....(the cycle of death had started) and to ensure that they don't get caught in that never ending cycle, God says Adam must not take of the tree of life and eat, because he would then live forever, Genesis 3:22-23....forever in a state of death. That's not God's plan. His plan is for us to live with Him forever.
No death means immortality.
Immortality means we don't escape this cycle of death.
No escape means we never get the opportunity to live with God in Heaven.
Deep huh? Again, God does something that many times we think is for punishment but the reality of it is, it's because of His protection.
Stage Three
Formalization. The courage to act on the inspired revelation. This takes place with our commitment to sign on the dotted line. We're now willing to make the necessary sacrifices to see the vision fulfilled.
Genesis 4:1 "Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived and bore Cain."
Adam now has to transition from being a love to becoming a father. Another new role that had never taken place. This is where we'd say "the rubber meets the road" of relationships and originations. It's one thing to talk about doing something because of revelation, it's another thing to do it. This is one reason I tell young ladies who are in a dating relationship, "you don't owe him one thing; not sex, not holding hands, not kissing, nothing! Cause there's no ring on your finger."
And all the ladies, said......
Now remember all this is taking place in Adam and Eve's life under the promise that one day...."And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." Genesis 3:15
So in there mind, this boy is it. Cain! The boy called "spear" is going to fulfill God's prophecy. Adam must now transition from being a lover to being a father.
Stage Four
Institutionalization. Where the light of revelation slowly begins going out. We as men tend to be the most romantic when we are pursuing her. Then when we have her and children are here, we tend to woe. Or, how about this? Things are going good. We like how the small group or church is going, we want things to just keep going like they are.
Institutionalization is setting in and without fresh revelation accompanied by inspiration with formalization, then death is just around the corner.
Many people say that Cain and Able were twins because of the lack of a word in Genesis 4:2. And that is possible, but I want to share some possible new insight concerning this issue. In Genesis 4:1 it says, "Adam knew his wife Eve and she bore a son." That word "knew" is the most intimate word for a man and woman to experience together.
Listen.
There is a huge difference between "making love" and "having sex."
Without the revelation being fulfilled, and inspiration being fanned, Adam and Eve have found themselves in a relationship that has become nothing more than automation. They're going through the motions without new insight.
Eve names her next son, Able, meaning "vanity!" Can you hear her voice? The actual Hebrew means, "a sigh."
How sad.
Too many marriages "die"by divorce during the "empty nest" stage because after the kids are grown there is no new revelation! They've spent the last 2o years of their life together in the institutionalization mode and now they look at each other one day and say, "death to this."
In the same way, groups, churches, friendships that don't get new purpose beyond what they started out as, end up dieing a slow death.
Stage Five
Crystallization. Where the truth becomes locked in time. The cycle of death which Adam loosed in the garden was now working in his family. “Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.” Genesis 4:8
Now in Genesis 4:3 is says, "in the process of time..." That word process in the Hebrew means, "at the end of days." In other words, at the end of this relationship cycle...is death. All things die. What was once full of promise has become a cold corpse. I believe this death of a son and loss of the other brings Adam and Eve back to the beginning. What is needed now more than ever is fresh revelation--and it happens. “And Adam knew his wife again.” Genesis 4:25
This time they name him, Seth. "And as for Seth, to him also a son was born." Genesis 4:26
This is another first in history; because now Adam transitions from being a father to being a grandfather.
New revelation! This is what God was getting at in the beginning of the garden.
Now we understand this because we've had thousand of years to figure out that the seed of Jesus came from the bloodline of Seth who came from Adam and Eve.
But they didn't have this. They had to go through it the hard way.
They had to learn to see past the now, and into the future.
What would life look like if we had entered every relationship with God's long term vision for it?
We'd say things like, "I want to marry you and have kids that have kids that have kids who love God and follow Him all the day's of their lives."
Instead of, "let's move in together and see how this works out."
We'd say, "I attend this church to play a role in reaching the hundreds and thousands of people who need God."
Instead of saying, "this is my church, why change anything?"
We'd say, "I bring people to this small group to grow and multiply the Kingdom of God."
Instead of saying, "if it gets bigger then we'll loose what we have."
We'd say things like, "I want friendships that will grow stronger through change."
Instead of, "I may lose that friendship if things start to change."
I pray that if any of your relationships are on their way to dieing, that God would give you fresh revelation, new passion and a deep commitment to know what to do with it.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
What Is Love?
Did you do it?
You did, didn't you?
I know you did.
When you read this title, you started singing, "what is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more" with your head tilted to the side doing a little head action.
OR
If you're super spiritual, you simply answered the question by quoting, 1 Corinthians 13:4, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."
Regardless of what you were thinking, let me share some thoughts on the subject of love for this Valentine's Day.
2 Stories
In a newspaper headline it read, "Woman Kills Her Husband." It showed a picture of a woman holding her dead husband in her lap with blood everywhere and a gun to the side of the body. In the article it read, "when the police entered the house, the wife was screaming "but I loved him, I loved him!"
I've had that type of love.
In the movie, The Duchess, after being cheated on countless times and threatened by her husband, the Duke, that if she does not come home she will never see her children again; the Duchess cries out, "what's wrong with me? Why do you not love me?" The Duke replies, "I do love you." She responds, "how do you love me?" The Duke replies, "I have loved you the best that I understand what love is."
I've had that type of love too.
So, what is love? I believe we have to run everything through what Christ did. In other words, we look at the life of Jesus and get our answers to the questions we have.
Look what Christ did for us.
Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object.
Christ struggled with going to the cross. He said, "Father, not my will but your will be done." Jesus made a choice.
Did he have emotion? You bet. In fact, the Bible says he sweat drops of blood. That's some intense emotion!
Emotions are great, but too many times we put our emotions before the choice. It's like putting the cart before the horse. It's why so many marriages end in divorce. The "feelings" are gone, and so goes the marriage.
Jesus went to the cross. An act of the will that leads to physical action. Many people say "I love you" but there is no action that backs it up. Or like in the two stories mentioned before, the action is anything but "lovely."
Action on behalf of its object??? Christ went to the cross (that's the action) for us (we're the object of God's love) We are the ones who benefit from Christ going to the cross. We are reconciled to God because of it.
Do you choose to live a life of passionately giving of yourself to benefit someone else?
Not what you can get out of it,
not in how it makes you look good,
not to protect yourself,
but openly exposed to the possibility of real love.
It's harder than it sounds. It will cost you everything.
But I can't imagine loving any other way!
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. John 15:13
Happy Valentine's Day!
You did, didn't you?
I know you did.
When you read this title, you started singing, "what is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more" with your head tilted to the side doing a little head action.
OR
If you're super spiritual, you simply answered the question by quoting, 1 Corinthians 13:4, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."
Regardless of what you were thinking, let me share some thoughts on the subject of love for this Valentine's Day.
2 Stories
In a newspaper headline it read, "Woman Kills Her Husband." It showed a picture of a woman holding her dead husband in her lap with blood everywhere and a gun to the side of the body. In the article it read, "when the police entered the house, the wife was screaming "but I loved him, I loved him!"
I've had that type of love.
In the movie, The Duchess, after being cheated on countless times and threatened by her husband, the Duke, that if she does not come home she will never see her children again; the Duchess cries out, "what's wrong with me? Why do you not love me?" The Duke replies, "I do love you." She responds, "how do you love me?" The Duke replies, "I have loved you the best that I understand what love is."
I've had that type of love too.
So, what is love? I believe we have to run everything through what Christ did. In other words, we look at the life of Jesus and get our answers to the questions we have.
Look what Christ did for us.
Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object.
Christ struggled with going to the cross. He said, "Father, not my will but your will be done." Jesus made a choice.
Did he have emotion? You bet. In fact, the Bible says he sweat drops of blood. That's some intense emotion!
Emotions are great, but too many times we put our emotions before the choice. It's like putting the cart before the horse. It's why so many marriages end in divorce. The "feelings" are gone, and so goes the marriage.
Jesus went to the cross. An act of the will that leads to physical action. Many people say "I love you" but there is no action that backs it up. Or like in the two stories mentioned before, the action is anything but "lovely."
Action on behalf of its object??? Christ went to the cross (that's the action) for us (we're the object of God's love) We are the ones who benefit from Christ going to the cross. We are reconciled to God because of it.
Do you choose to live a life of passionately giving of yourself to benefit someone else?
Not what you can get out of it,
not in how it makes you look good,
not to protect yourself,
but openly exposed to the possibility of real love.
It's harder than it sounds. It will cost you everything.
But I can't imagine loving any other way!
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. John 15:13
Happy Valentine's Day!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Victory in the Kingdom
As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm on my way to Lima, Peru. Right now I'm in the Miami airport enjoying a five hour layover in the "Admiral's Lounge."
So with some time to myself, I'd thought I'd share with you the message I'll be preaching tomorrow. Pray for me, because anyone who knows me knows I am not a morning person; I speak at 8:30am (that's 5:30am our time)
Qualities of a Healthy Team
The Apostle Paul said, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7 Paul paints these word pictures to drive home the point that our faith is much like that of a ball game or sporting event. In Peru, soccer is to them what our Super Bowl is to us, so I'm relating my message in soccer terms to hopefully connect on a deeper level.
As Christians, people who follow the teachings and lifestyle of Jesus Christ, there are some things in this sporting event we call life that we need to understand if we want to have a win for the Kingdom of God.
Fouls and Outs
There are some characteristics we need to stay away from or not become in order to win.
1. Being a Free Agent: Believers who have not committed to a local church team.
2. People who want to be on the team but don’t want to play.
3. People who give up before the game is over.
4. People who talk negatively about their teammates and coaches.
Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
I really can't say enough about this subject. Too many Christians and churches are loosing and don't even know it because their mouth is so wide open it cause their eyes not to see clearly.
5. People who never practice and expect to do their best at the game.
6. People who quit and give up when things don’t go their way.
Scoring Goals and Winning
1. Commitment: People who are committed to give their very best.
2. Unity: People who recognize we are stronger as a team than we are as individuals.
Philippians 2:2-4 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
3. Diversity: People who have different skills, talents and abilities.
4. Relationships: People who value their friends and teammates around them.
“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:1-2
Think about that for a moment. Look at the words that jump off the page, "caught in sin", "you who are spiritual," "restore gentle", "carry each other", "fulfill the law"......WOW!
What "law of Christ" is he talking about?
The law of sin and death. Jesus came to restore man to God.
God is in the restoration business; which leads to point number six.
6. Possibility: People who say, “We can do it.”
Why? Because it's not easy to stand for love and righteousness. You would think it is, but it isn't. Know that this type of living will cost you more than you know, but at the same time I can't imagine living any other way. It's why the Bible gives us so many challenges and encouragement to live a life that goes out of it's way for restoration and redemption.
A win down here is a victory in the Kingdom.
Colossians 3:12-14
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
So with some time to myself, I'd thought I'd share with you the message I'll be preaching tomorrow. Pray for me, because anyone who knows me knows I am not a morning person; I speak at 8:30am (that's 5:30am our time)
Qualities of a Healthy Team
The Apostle Paul said, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7 Paul paints these word pictures to drive home the point that our faith is much like that of a ball game or sporting event. In Peru, soccer is to them what our Super Bowl is to us, so I'm relating my message in soccer terms to hopefully connect on a deeper level.
As Christians, people who follow the teachings and lifestyle of Jesus Christ, there are some things in this sporting event we call life that we need to understand if we want to have a win for the Kingdom of God.
Fouls and Outs
There are some characteristics we need to stay away from or not become in order to win.
1. Being a Free Agent: Believers who have not committed to a local church team.
2. People who want to be on the team but don’t want to play.
3. People who give up before the game is over.
4. People who talk negatively about their teammates and coaches.
Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
I really can't say enough about this subject. Too many Christians and churches are loosing and don't even know it because their mouth is so wide open it cause their eyes not to see clearly.
5. People who never practice and expect to do their best at the game.
6. People who quit and give up when things don’t go their way.
Scoring Goals and Winning
1. Commitment: People who are committed to give their very best.
2. Unity: People who recognize we are stronger as a team than we are as individuals.
Philippians 2:2-4 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
3. Diversity: People who have different skills, talents and abilities.
4. Relationships: People who value their friends and teammates around them.
“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:1-2
Think about that for a moment. Look at the words that jump off the page, "caught in sin", "you who are spiritual," "restore gentle", "carry each other", "fulfill the law"......WOW!
What "law of Christ" is he talking about?
The law of sin and death. Jesus came to restore man to God.
God is in the restoration business; which leads to point number six.
6. Possibility: People who say, “We can do it.”
Why? Because it's not easy to stand for love and righteousness. You would think it is, but it isn't. Know that this type of living will cost you more than you know, but at the same time I can't imagine living any other way. It's why the Bible gives us so many challenges and encouragement to live a life that goes out of it's way for restoration and redemption.
A win down here is a victory in the Kingdom.
Colossians 3:12-14
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Roller Coaster of Love
This has been somewhat a roller coaster week.
Here in a few days I fly out to Peru. I have the awesome opportunity to speak in a church of 6000 this upcoming Sunday morning, then the following three days speak to over 300 Pastors on the subject leadership.
While the excitement has been so joyful, I've also heard news that has made my spirit sad.
A few days ago, I sent a letter to a person to try to ease any ill feelings they might have towards me because of a misunderstanding; only to be mocked and to be made out as the "enemy."
I say sad, not because of this persons attitude directed towards me, but because of the "law of spiritual math." See, when anyone is given only partial information or half-truths or even incorrect information altogether, it causes them not to be able to accurately reach desired goals. I say this from personal experience. For example, I came into a situation where I was told "A" --so my plan was to do "B"-- and when I didn't get "C" --it caused great confusion. Unless, this person gets a real understanding of the history where their at, for at least the last 5-10 years, then.....well, like I said, it's sad.
History plays a huge part in ministry, not that it has to ultimately decide your destiny, but it definitely helps you know the future and understand future issues that you may face. I hope this person(s) don't find themselves down the same path in a few years because of bad spiritual math. If so, I pray they will be shown more grace and love than what they are giving.
Here are things that I have learned from God's Word that I want to encourage you with if you are in a situation like this or one day find yourself in a similar predicament.
1. You never have to defend the truth. It may take a while for it to come out. (it took Joseph 21 years before his situation was rectified) This is hard, especially when ever fiber of your being wants to set the record straight, but don't.
2. The moment you try explaining yourself to your accusers, you've made them your judge. When someone starts saying things about you (which they believe are true) and you try to correct them, what you've done is submitted yourself for their approval. God's the judge, not them.
3. Submission to authority is about position not person. This has been the hardest thing to do in my life. Submitting to leadership that you don't agree with is hard; but you can't honestly say you're a person who submits to authority until there is disagreement.
"It is far better to submit to leadership that is corrupt or bad and suffer lies about you and mistreatment, than to rebel against that leadership and suffer judgement from God."--Vince Farrell
4. Wounds bleed blood, scars bleed wisdom. Throughout this recent situation an accountability partner of mine commented on how well I was taking it and was surprised at the amount of love and compassion I showed towards this other person as I relayed the events to them. I explained to them that my wounds are starting to heal up. It's true. The bleeding has stopped, I've moved on and even though I have some scars from it, the scars are a symbol of wisdom learned in this season.
Lessons learned open up new doors.
A door that I'm so excited and humbled to walk through this week in Peru.
Do not owe people anything, except always owe love to each other, because the person who loves others has obeyed all the law.
Romans 13:8
Here in a few days I fly out to Peru. I have the awesome opportunity to speak in a church of 6000 this upcoming Sunday morning, then the following three days speak to over 300 Pastors on the subject leadership.
While the excitement has been so joyful, I've also heard news that has made my spirit sad.
A few days ago, I sent a letter to a person to try to ease any ill feelings they might have towards me because of a misunderstanding; only to be mocked and to be made out as the "enemy."
I say sad, not because of this persons attitude directed towards me, but because of the "law of spiritual math." See, when anyone is given only partial information or half-truths or even incorrect information altogether, it causes them not to be able to accurately reach desired goals. I say this from personal experience. For example, I came into a situation where I was told "A" --so my plan was to do "B"-- and when I didn't get "C" --it caused great confusion. Unless, this person gets a real understanding of the history where their at, for at least the last 5-10 years, then.....well, like I said, it's sad.
History plays a huge part in ministry, not that it has to ultimately decide your destiny, but it definitely helps you know the future and understand future issues that you may face. I hope this person(s) don't find themselves down the same path in a few years because of bad spiritual math. If so, I pray they will be shown more grace and love than what they are giving.
Here are things that I have learned from God's Word that I want to encourage you with if you are in a situation like this or one day find yourself in a similar predicament.
1. You never have to defend the truth. It may take a while for it to come out. (it took Joseph 21 years before his situation was rectified) This is hard, especially when ever fiber of your being wants to set the record straight, but don't.
2. The moment you try explaining yourself to your accusers, you've made them your judge. When someone starts saying things about you (which they believe are true) and you try to correct them, what you've done is submitted yourself for their approval. God's the judge, not them.
3. Submission to authority is about position not person. This has been the hardest thing to do in my life. Submitting to leadership that you don't agree with is hard; but you can't honestly say you're a person who submits to authority until there is disagreement.
"It is far better to submit to leadership that is corrupt or bad and suffer lies about you and mistreatment, than to rebel against that leadership and suffer judgement from God."--Vince Farrell
4. Wounds bleed blood, scars bleed wisdom. Throughout this recent situation an accountability partner of mine commented on how well I was taking it and was surprised at the amount of love and compassion I showed towards this other person as I relayed the events to them. I explained to them that my wounds are starting to heal up. It's true. The bleeding has stopped, I've moved on and even though I have some scars from it, the scars are a symbol of wisdom learned in this season.
Lessons learned open up new doors.
A door that I'm so excited and humbled to walk through this week in Peru.
Do not owe people anything, except always owe love to each other, because the person who loves others has obeyed all the law.
Romans 13:8
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Connecting the Dots
As a minister, I've spent my years in ministry with a deep passion to make followers of Jesus Christ. That's what Jesus himself told us to do, "go and make disciples." However, how do I really know if that's being done? What I'm getting at is this: I've had the same thinking that countless other church leaders did--and for the most part still do--concerning ministry.
That's the problem. We all know what the mission is: Make Followers of Jesus Christ.
But the way we gauge if we're successful doesn't work. It's the easier way, in fact, it's the only way that is tangible. It's called "counting heads."
If you've been in ministry on any level, full-time, part-time, volunteer or just sat in a service, then you've heard the phrase, "how many did we have?" I've sat in staff meetings where we gauged our success by that phrase. I've asked that same question to my own staff or other people to gauge the success of their mission. Why? Because of the belief that if people are coming to our life-changing services or meaningful classes or purposeful events, then there must be some productivity coming out of it. Lives must be being changed. So we count heads.
Unfortunately, the head is not where life change happens. It happens in the heart. When asked by the religious leaders of His day what the greatest commandment was, Jesus answered, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Matt. 22:36-39) There's the problem. Jesus gives us a way to gauge our spiritual growth that many of us, myself included, have not been using.
The way we know if we are truly making followers of Jesus Christ, or should I say, if WE are truly followers of Jesus, is by the way we/they love God and love others. The separation of the two cannot exist, at least not in the sense of truthfulness. Unfortunately, the condition of the heart is a hard aspect to see. I mean, we don't have at the entrances of all of our churches a "Dr. Seuss Heart Detector" (you know, like what was used to see the Grinch's heart two sizes too small).
However, I offer this thought. Is it possible to see our churches filled with people who openly worship God in song and dance, yet truly are not in a growing, maturing relationship to become more and more like Jesus? I think so.
I'm not discrediting that we're not passionate about worshiping God. I just think there's more--the loving-other-people-like-you-love-yourself part just seems to be missing.
Maybe not missing, just not highly visible because I truly believe that people want to love one another and given the right opportunity, they do. I also believe that this type of atmosphere has to be created and maintained by the group's leadership to continually foster that type of attitude.
Be forewarned though, a church or organization that does strive to make these types of followers of Christ will have a hard time keeping the unchurched, the lost, the hurt, the masses away. People want to be loved and to find a church that truly does that and loves God,.....well, sign me up too!
That's the problem. We all know what the mission is: Make Followers of Jesus Christ.
But the way we gauge if we're successful doesn't work. It's the easier way, in fact, it's the only way that is tangible. It's called "counting heads."
If you've been in ministry on any level, full-time, part-time, volunteer or just sat in a service, then you've heard the phrase, "how many did we have?" I've sat in staff meetings where we gauged our success by that phrase. I've asked that same question to my own staff or other people to gauge the success of their mission. Why? Because of the belief that if people are coming to our life-changing services or meaningful classes or purposeful events, then there must be some productivity coming out of it. Lives must be being changed. So we count heads.
Unfortunately, the head is not where life change happens. It happens in the heart. When asked by the religious leaders of His day what the greatest commandment was, Jesus answered, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Matt. 22:36-39) There's the problem. Jesus gives us a way to gauge our spiritual growth that many of us, myself included, have not been using.
The way we know if we are truly making followers of Jesus Christ, or should I say, if WE are truly followers of Jesus, is by the way we/they love God and love others. The separation of the two cannot exist, at least not in the sense of truthfulness. Unfortunately, the condition of the heart is a hard aspect to see. I mean, we don't have at the entrances of all of our churches a "Dr. Seuss Heart Detector" (you know, like what was used to see the Grinch's heart two sizes too small).
However, I offer this thought. Is it possible to see our churches filled with people who openly worship God in song and dance, yet truly are not in a growing, maturing relationship to become more and more like Jesus? I think so.
I'm not discrediting that we're not passionate about worshiping God. I just think there's more--the loving-other-people-like-you-love-yourself part just seems to be missing.
Maybe not missing, just not highly visible because I truly believe that people want to love one another and given the right opportunity, they do. I also believe that this type of atmosphere has to be created and maintained by the group's leadership to continually foster that type of attitude.
Be forewarned though, a church or organization that does strive to make these types of followers of Christ will have a hard time keeping the unchurched, the lost, the hurt, the masses away. People want to be loved and to find a church that truly does that and loves God,.....well, sign me up too!
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