The Power of One

When I was in the ninth grade, I heard a message called "The Power of One."
It focused on the contrast between two men. Adam and Jesus; found in Romans 5:12-17
The phrase "by one man" has stuck with me to this day.

By one man, sin entered the world.
By one man, salvation has come.
The power of one.

I had a most wonderful experience brought to me through the use of Facebook.
A young lady who was a year behind me in school took the time to find me on Facebook and send me a message. I'm deeply honored that she would do this, and I want to share it to encourage you in the same power that it encouraged me. The Power of One.

I have changed the name out of respect, it reads:
Hey, my name is Meg and we were at Southside together. You are a year above my graduating year...anyway. I just wanted to let you know that you made a huge impact in my life your Sr year. I accepted Christ at a See You At The Pole meeting that you were leading. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for being so on fire for God back then. I have now been faithfully serving God for about 14 years. Thanks for making a difference in the lives of those around you. God Bless.

To those who wonder is it worth it, to those who can't see past today. For those of you that were in one of the two youth ministries I had the privilege of pastoring, to those who heard me say time and time again, "if you fall, get back up and dust the dirt off and keep going. It's true.

Don't give up.
See past today.
Display grace in your actions.
Don't hold grudges.
Forgive.
Reach out.
Don't gossip.
Help others.
Encourage those who need it.
Love without expecting anything in return.

The power of one.
By one man sin entered the world.
By one man salvation came.
What type of person will you be?

You be the type of person who makes a difference.
To make a difference, you have to do things differently. Christianity today needs to look different than it does right now. For me, I'm going to be known for "what things I'm for" rather than "what things I'm against."

The power of one.
Will you join me?

Inside Out

The Church.
It meets every week in a building.
It's encouraged to happen outside a building every week.

A few weeks ago, on the side of the road was a car in need of some jumper cables. I paused for a moment thinking like we all do, “I’ll be late for my meeting.” I texted my contact and decided to be late for the meeting, moments later the car was back on its way.

The Church happens everywhere.

I had the wonderful opportunity to speak at a church about a month ago where I gave an invitation for people to follow Christ. In the altar were people whose lives were being changed and hearts connected with God.

The Church happens everywhere.

Lately, a fantastic young man has opened his life to me and we’ve been having some great heart to heart talks. The openness and transparency he has displayed to me is quite an honor. I’ve had the opportunity to speak into his life and share some Biblical insight and help connect the dots between everyday living and biblical application.

The Church happens everywhere.

After speaking at a youth gathering, a parent came up to me afterwards and shared some struggles she and her husband have been going through in this rough economic time. She has been wrestling with some profound issues. Being able to speak life and encouragement and pray with her was one of the highlights of the evening. I could see the peace of God come into her life and her situation.

The Church happens everywhere.

My wife and I lead a small group of believers that is composed of people from several churches. When a couple in the group showed up with an important need, the group answered the call. When almost half of our group was affected with job loss, we all chipped in to make car payments, buy groceries, and do whatever we could for each other. A loving, passionate, giving community of believers.

The Church happens everywhere.

A few days ago, I received an email from a Youth Pastor in Dallas. I've never met the man and honestly have no idea how he got my contact information. In the email his heart called out for guidiance and a deep desire to connect with someone who could help him fulfill the call that God has put in his life. He is one of several I've had the awesome privilege of connecting with and getting to step into a new type of relationship with fellow members of the body.

The Church happens everywhere.


In the everyday experiences of life, if you look for it, church happens everywhere.
Many times the issue is we only see church in one location: a building; the reality is Jesus spent more time outside of the building and more time building the Church.

I encourage you to live your life with soul saving love.
Outside of the building and in the place where opportunities are everywhere.

Mugged at Knife Point

Ever notice when you buy a vehicle, you all of a sudden notice how many cars like yours are on the road?

You never notice them until you have one of your own.
All of a sudden they're everywhere.
The reality is, those cars were always on the road, the difference is YOU are now aware of them because YOU now have one.

I think the same applies to different areas of our lives.
Here lately it seems just about everyone I bump into has experienced great levels of pain or have been let down by people and organizations that were supposed to help and protect them.

Something my friend Steven and I share is a great love for music and the messages that come out of it. Several months ago when listening to one of my favorite songs the words jumped out and hit me like a ton of bricks. In the midst of singing them in my truck (by myself, because I'm not allowed to sing where people can hear me) I stopped and said, "Yes, that's true! Thank you God for allowing it to happen to me!!!"

They say, "I just wanna' get mugged at knife point, cut deep enough to wake me up, cause I know I don't want to die, sitting around watching my life pass me by....." Reliant K- This Weeks The Trend

I know what you're thinking....."that's sick!" I would think the same thing, too, if I hadn't gone through what I've gone through.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish the situation my family has gone through on anyone, nor what countless others have gone through.
Craig Groeschel calls it,"the private pain before public gain" stage.
But I will be the first to say that it's been the "mugged at knife point" situation where scriptures come alive and are proven true.

I truly thank God for allowing the mugging to happen to me.
It doesn't make it any more right.
It doesn't excuse people's actions.
It's just that I am no longer waiting for God's judgement on them.
I pray they are blessed in all they do and that God would withhold His wrath on them.
Why?
Because, I've woken up!
I realize I was dead in the place I was.
In the church where I was.
In the organization where I was.
In the accomplishments I had achieved.
While "doing ministry", while "doing church", while "doing stuff'" I was like so many countless others: watching life pass by.

But now I can see, hear, feel, taste and smell things that others can't because of what I've experienced. Bill Hybels calls it, "The Popeye Moment."
I can relate far better to those who are sick of church and Christians than I ever could before. The truth be told, in the past when I heard someone bad-mouth church or say the church is full of hypocrites, I'd simply write them off as someone who didn't "truly" know or had experienced a good church. Or I would argue with them that what they were saying was in their own mind and really had no clout.
Now, I'm more understanding, more compassionate. I listen more as my heart cries, like Popeye, "I've had all me can stands and me can't stands no more!"

See now I can honestly say, "I know what I'm called to do."
I'm more focused with more clarity and courage than I've had in the last eight years.

I encourage you, if you've been "cut" or "mugged" from the very ones who were supposed to put a robe on your back, a ring on your finger and sandals on your feet; first, allow God to do an amazing work in your life where you can honestly forgive them and release them (because honestly they don't even know what they've done to you...on some level they believe what they've done is 100% right, so there's no need harboring bitterness towards people who think they're right....trust me). Secondly, see it as an opportunity to start living in the fullness of what God created you for.

Yes, it's painful. It's not easy, but if it were easy then the world would be filled with better Christians instead of bitter ones.

So be different.

Be the type of Christian the world needs to know.

Hunting for Easter Answers

We had a great Easter today with friends and family.

I'd like to ask some questions and hear your thoughts. Your participation is greatly appreciated.
If you would at the beginning of your comment put your "church" status.

Disconnected--(use to go, rarely attend anymore)
Casual--(attend less than 10 times a year)
Attender--(attend 2 or more times a month)
Worker--(part of the ministry)
Staff--(receive a paycheck from the church)

Before I dive in with the questions, please know that I am not being rude of facetious.
I'm a "Gen X'er" right down to my very last bone, which means I have a very low tolerance for bull. I like the facts and I like the truth.
I love to take those facts and truths and create structures and methods for making ministry, churches, people and programs shine.
Below, I'll right the question, then under it give you a few of my thoughts on what causes me to ask it to begin with.

Thanks ahead of time for your feedback.

Questions
1. Are "the lost" (or disconnected) attending church on the two big holidays like they used too? If not, why is that?
Easter is one of those holidays that is typically a time people "show up" for church. The church I attend did have an increase of attendance, but no where near what I thought.

2. Was your Easter service different in anyway from a normal service? Should it be? If so, why?
If people who do not attend church show up on Easter, why do they not return next week? What are we doing to scare them off? ( I know those are more questions, again just my thoughts)

3. If I was one of the "Easter Sunday Only" attenders, what was a weird factor for me?
I say weird, but maybe disconnect factor or Christian-eese thing.

4. If Pastor came up to me and said, "what in the service should we change?" What would you say and why?
I'd think every leader would want constructive feedback, but if this is too sensitive, email me directly at farrelldesign@yahoo.com

Last one
5. As a new person coming in the door, what was the biggest issue YOU think they had to overcome and why?
I have kids, so I think in terms of a young family who doesn't know child check in procedures, or where the nursery is or if there even IS a nursery. So, what do you see?


Again, if you feel like any of your comments need to be sent to me personally and not posted as a comment, feel free to email me.
And if you know of people who would be great to answer these questions, please pass it around! The more the better.

Blessings,
Vince

Legos, Connections and Friendships

I've recently heard someone talk about how everyone is like a Lego.
We all have a limited number of connectors.
Connectors like on a Lego.
Introverts have a few.
Extroverts have up to dozens.

Either way, once they're full, they're full.

This makes sense to me, because I've often struggled to fully understand the lack of friendship from people who didn't really measure up to what I expected out of a friend; and more importantly I've struggled to BE that type of friend that I feel I SHOULD be.

See, I'm an extrovert, and I have so many relationships that I don't have many "connectors" left. In fact, I find myself having to take some friends off in order to make room (time) for others. I mean, let's be honest....do you talk to all 400 of your friends on Facebook at least once a week? I don't. In fact, I feel like I liar for even having that many "friends" that I don't even talk to once a year!!!! This is probably why "T-Mobile" and other cell companies give you a "Fave-5" plan......they know most of us only have room for about five real, meaningful, connecting relationships. Some a little more, some a little less.

I no longer feel guilty for "not being THAT friend" nor do I any longer think ill of those who aren't that type of friend to me.
Why?
Because "acts of friendship" is one thing, and "acts of connection" is another.

When we moved into our house, the first week was great. We received pies, cookies, smiles, handshakes all welcoming us into the neighborhood. So many "acts of friendships", but ask me if I'm connected with any of them......the answer is no.

This is why many people complain about church being "cliquish." The reality of it is, it's not a church full of cliques as much as it is a church full of people whose connectors are already full.
This has been most helpful for me to understand why I've lost so many relationships over the last year during our time of ministry transition. I used to think it's because that person wasn't a "real friend" but the truth is, people have to make room if their connectors are full due to schedules, locations, timing, influences, and new relationships; some must come off to make room for the new or the relationships that want to be meaningful.

Sure, it doesn't make it any easier to know you've been taken off the relationship connector with someone, but know it's part of the process. It doesn't mean those people are bad or shallow or don't live up to your expectations.....it simply means their connectors are full and someone has to be dropped to make room for someone they want to have a deeper relationship with.

Because like Legos, some are used to build huge buildings, some are used to build cars....and some just get lost.

(The Legos example came from the book: Sticky Church)

What I Would Ask

I've had the opportunity to do a lot of traveling lately and speak to hundreds of pastors.
During this time several have asked my thought on countless issues.
Youth ministry.
Small groups.
Evangelism.
Church growth.
Leadership development.
Discipleship.

While I've done my best to reach down in my library of information and lean on past experience and wisdom that God has shown, I always ask them more questions than they ask me.

I personally believe that a majority of the issues in our ministries are a result of a simple issue.
Growing organizations naturally grow complex.

Small grows to big, therefore we need more staff, more structure, more programs, which in turn demand more time, more money, more energy, which leads to more building programs, needing more people and the process continues. All the while we're "doing" ministry but at the same time ministry is "doing" us in.

My wife's grandparents got married 64 years ago. One man, one woman. Today there are 7 children, 15 grandchildren, 29 great-grandchildren and 12 great, great-grandchildren.
It all started with two.

Here are some things I ask and would ask any person in ministry to consider when wanting answers to "grow a church", or "make disciples of Christ" or "fix" a ministry need.

1. What do you want people to become?
Sounds simple, but you'd be amazed how off many are. Or how many people are by default just doing things. It reminds me of the scene in "The Dark Knight" when Harvey Dent is in the hospital and The Joker is sitting next to him and Harvey lunges after him only to get frustrated and ask, "young man, what's your plan" The Joker responds, "do I look like the kind of guy that has a plan? I just do things."

2. What steps are in place to achieve the first question?
This is where I loose 90% of the people I talk to. Because aren't our programs enough to help people become followers of Christ? If so, would the divorce rate be as high as it is in the church? Teen dropout rate? Would we be begging people to work in ministry, tithe, drop habits, love others, come faithfully? Programs are fine, but sadly too many of our church programs foster basic level Christianity steps. What if we looked at many of the programs we do in our churches and replaced them with a series of steps to help people on their journey of faith.

3. What is a "win" for your organization?
Again, for those of us in leadership we may have a pretty good idea, but how about the rest of the team? This is where I ask them to "clarify the win." Because the more general the win is, the less likely it's a "win." It's more like a "rally cry." Rally cries are short term achievable goals. Example: when someone says their "win" is to lead people to Christ, I then ask, " what next?" Because if that was a win, we'd only ever need two ministers in our churches. One to pray with people for salvation, the other to hit them over the head to send them to Heaven.
The more specific the better. This is why so many churches have the goal, "to make fully devoted followers of Christ" or "to lead people in a growing relationship with Jesus." Those type of wins are to the point, and are put in simple terms that define the goal.

4. What is your biggest priority, and what do you need to accomplish to achieve it?
I'll be honest here. Churches with tons of "ministries" scare me. Don't get me wrong, it's an honorable thing to be so aspiring. But I know something many of the leaders don't. Churches that have more ministries than staff are filled with people who are tired, on the verge of burn out and foster an atmosphere of mediocrity. Ouch! I'm sorry if I stepped on toes there.
But listen. Things naturally grow complex! And the more you do, it means the less quality every other thing becomes. Everything has a life cycle. So much energy is spent keeping things on life support. Find three of four ministries to excel in and say "no" to the rest. Because every time you add something to the plate without taking something off, it all starts to taste the same.
Mush.

5. If you were to leave, or get fired, or whatever, what things would the next guy change that you won't because you feel like you can't.
Personal example time. At the last placed I served on staff, myself and the jr. high staff pastor worked for months preparing for a change we felt like we needed to do to grow. We spoke with the leadership, elders, all who were in charge and shared our game plan and reasons and we even begged. We heard tons of reasons why we could not or should not. None based out of biblical reasoning--if you know what I mean.
We are no longer there. Guess what the new guy did? Yep! The very thing we begged to do for months.
When God gives you a plan, do it. Sure, you have to have the right timing. But more importantly you have to decide who you want to keep. I'm not talking about plowing over people, I'm talking about doing what needs to be done to achieve the goal. I love the saying, "there's something wrong when you have to part the whiskers to give the baby a bottle." Leadership takes courage to do the things that need to be done. If you won't, the next guy will.

I'm amazed in just the 20 years that I've been involved in church and ministry how much society has changed and how little the church has as a whole has.
I think many of us would do well to get back to some simple practices of faith.
But here's the catch. Once you are able to answer these questions and honestly start putting them in practice----you'll work harder at keeping it simple than you would if you had forty ministries to oversee.
Why? Because things naturally grow complex, so you have to work hard to keep it simple and keep it focused.

Sticky Church Quotes

For those of you who have read, "Simple Church" may I recommend another great book; "Sticky Church" by Larry Osborne. It's a great read with some key principles on ways to keep people connected to the church.
Let's face it, there are plenty of ways to get people to come to church. Keeping them there is another matter. This book shares some important thoughts on how to close the back door.

When I read a book, I highlight in it and make notes off to the side in it, so if I ever want to freshen up on it I can go back and hit the highlighted parts. I talked to a friend of mine, Jon Morris, today who gave me a great idea.
He mentioned that after he finishes a book and highlights in it, that he then types a list of all the highlighted parts and keeps them on file for future use.

So in the spirit of taking some good advice, here are just a few quotes from the book that I thought I'd share with you. Again, I highly recommend the book.

"We've often become so focused on reaching people that we've forgotten the importance of keeping people."

"A great spiritual start is no guarantee of a happy ending."

Commenting on the parable Jesus told concerning the sower...."If the soil in any portion of the farmers field produced a killed off before harvest outcome, he'd never plant there again. A crop that didn't last all the way to harvest was a financial disaster."

"If left alone, the back door never closes itself. We have to intentionally slam it shut."

"Imagine two churches that both run 250 in attendance and in ten years they both grew to 500.....Church "A" is the typical revolving door church in that it looses 7 people for every 10 it gains. Church "B" is a sticky church and looses 3 people for every 10 it gains. On the surface both churches grew to the 500 mark. But the revolving door church had to reach 834 new people to get there. The sticky church had to reach 357.....what's even more interesting is that Church "A" now has 584 formal attenders that are in the community who say, "I used to go to that church."

"The people who come through the front door of a church through word-of-mouth referrals have a fundamentally different experience than do those who come as the result of a marketing campaign."

"Basic laws of retention: Whatever you do to reach people, you have to continue to do to keep them."

"Many times in our special programs to reach the lost, we advertise weeks in advance; and don't realize how well we've trained our congregation to hold back their invitations until the next big event."

"As long as the front door remains bigger than the back door, any church will appear to be growing."

"Most of our discipleship programs are very linear. Unfortunately, most spiritual growth is not."

"Empowerment without a platform is like responsibility without authority."

"In the church, we don't want to hang out our dirty linen in public. A non-christian might hear and be turned off---or a gossip might hear and be turned on."

"It's a well known fact that young adults tend to mimic the behavior patterns of their parents once they start to have their own families. It's amazing to see how much like their parents most kids in my youth group eventually became. Once they hit adulthood, our influence waned and their parents' influence held sway. They parented like they were parented, did marriage like their parents, and even did adult Christianity like it was modeled by most of the adults around them."

To follow the above......."we decided not to have special small groups for youth and children, instead we asked them to join in the adults small group....our young adults dropout rate is a fraction of what it used to be in the past, it's because we've focused on giving our children and youth the powerful gift of a growing mom and dad."

"The most obvious sign of greater attentiveness was the marked increase in note taking."

Those are a few of my highlighted notes from just the first 5 chapters. Hopefully I've put enough down to wet your appetite to go out and get the book for yourself.

Happy Reading!